Gerard ways daughter

the pain inside

Gerard showed me to i guess what's now my room and left me. I sat on the bed feeling lost i began to get a familiar itch on my arms i took off my hoodie under which my arms were littered with old faded scars and fresh cuts. I opened my bag and rooted around, then i found it my old friend, a blade.
a/n
I'm not gonna write about her doing it cause like triggering but like I'm sure you get the gist);

after i was done i pulled my sleeves down and began to cry. Fuck it wasn't even crying it was wailing.I heard a knock on the door
"Elise, can i come in" I heard my dad say sounding concerned, honestly I wanted my dad i couldn't have my mum and i still loved him even if he wasn't the best. "Yeah please come." I stated in between sobs.
"Elise, what's wrong my girl" he said a concerned light smile on his pale face.
"I can't do anything, I constantly feel empty, I can't do normal 14 year old shit because I'm a stupid autistic freak." i said, why was I telling him this he had never cared for me.
"Elise you're not a freak, you may have Aspergers but that doesn't make you a freak not stupid." He said with a very matter of fact tone. "You know the day you were born I was so happy i just held you and looked down and seen this beautiful little thing that I had helped make, it was the most amazing feeling I got looking at you." He said with a slight chuckle. This made me give a weak smile."The day you got diagnosed i still looked down and got that same feeling at my girl." he said i could see his eyes were slightly glazed, this made me cry "I love you dad i never want you to leave me again" i said, well choked out between sobs. "Don't worry my girl I'll always be here." He went to hug me and touched my arm , fuck i thought as I winced. "Oh El" he said I'd never seen anyone look so crushed. " I'm sorry daddy,I'm so sorry." i said "no I'm sorry i should of been there" now we were to crying embracing messes .