n. a recurring thought that only seems to strike you late at night-an overdue task, a nagging guilt, a looming and shapeless future-that circles high overhead during the day, that pecks at the back of your mind while you try to sleep, that you can s...
give me a muse, and i will spend what's left of our forever painting her with words. -atticus
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this was it. this was everything. i could feel my nerves bubbling up in my stomach. this was oikawa's moment to go to nationals, to beat shiratorizawa, to prove to iwazumi that he wasn't a child. this was everything.
it was wrong to hope so, but i wanted more then anything for karasuno to lose. for oikawa to come through. he had spent so long studying karasuno's every move, watching video after video to find the perfect method to beat their quick attack. to defend themselves. to defend himself.
this was oikawa's chance, and more then anything, this was my chance to hold him tight and congratulate him till his ears fell off. tōru had been awaiting this victory for so long, and i wanted nothing more then to be there with him for the after win. this was oikawa's chance to break through. to find an opening to the hole he had so carefully dug himself in.
but i knew the minute the match was about stamina that aoba johsai would lose. if it wasn't for number ten. if he had chosen a different school things would have gone differently. i couldn't change history, i couldn't fix things, but i could be there for oikawa.
i could be his support, his rock. and that was enough. the minute karasuno won i had ran down from the bleachers. sweat running down my face because- as much as i wanted to i never went to the gym. i watched as tōru came out of the gym dorms, covered in sticky sweat and what i knew was tears.
he can't move. he's standing at the door, arms open. he's waiting for me. waiting for me to come in and rescue him, and you bet that's exactly what i did.
i pull oikawa close, and we sink to the floor. i'm rubbing his back, kissing his neck, doing anything i can to get tōru to calm down. i let go of the hug, pushing him away slightly. the tears in his eyes are gone, and i know more then anything he's holding them in.
"it's okay tōru," i smile, kissing his cheek slightly. this is all i can do, and dear god i hope it's enough. "it's okay to cry tōru."
