South Park x Reader

Kyle x Cartman AKA Kymannnn {This Is It, Huh?}

Requested By: NinaTheMunch

Cartman's Pov:

This week has been stressful as hell. I never knew just how exhausting it was to work. Like an actual 9 to 5 schedule with one day off, barely any breaks, and the urge to knock a customer out. I thought I had it easy, but things did not go in my favor like I hoped. At first, I made a deal with one of my coworkers to cover for me some days because I was... 'running late.' It worked for a while, but soon people caught on to it and.. could you believe it- they questioned me about this situation.

So what did I do? I lied and got my coworker fired... poor, poor guy. Anyway-

The worst part about this is that I haven't been able to see the others. Truth be told, I couldn't care less about those low lives, but I know they aren't having fun without me. I don't miss them one bit, so get that thought out of your head! Ever since we graduated high school, all four of us decided to get jobs because we have entered the "real world" and our parents wanted us to understand that. We were against it at first, but wised the hell up and went ahead to look for "Help Wanted" signs.

What surprised me still was the fact that Kenny was the first one to get a job. My guess was that they gave him a pass because of how poor he was. That pitiful yet eager look might have worked for that idiot, but the rest of us had to earn our spots. Even though we had to train for our positions, Kenny was the only one who was paid during the training... Stan, Kyle and I just worked for our health benefits. It was completely unfair.

It was fine though, we just ended up making him pay for little things here and there as a way to even the score. Hey, I suggested to make him pay every time we went out for lunch, but Stan made it seem like I proposed something so indecent like robbing. The f##k I look like robbing from my poor friend? 

Okay, maybe I thought about once or twice... or fifteen times, but you ain't got no proof.

Anyway, Kyle agreed with stuck up Stan as usual. I swear that stupid Jew never wanted to take my side. Not like I want him to, but the one time I offer something that was not so diabolic and everyone turned away like I had the plague.

Moving that aside for now, it has been six months since we have started to work. Everything was going smoothly, until the others had their schedules changed. We started to hang out less often and then slowly but surely, none of us were able to link up. That led back to my original thought.

I don't miss them. Not one bit.

One night, as I was on my way home from work I took a look at the sky. My eyes drooped slightly as my lips parted, a dejected sigh slipped out. Those gray clouds were not great signs and of course, my outfit did not help me. My jacket did not have a collar or a hood, it was not heavy either nor was it preferable to wear in this weather. I did not have a single umbrella and the only thing covering my head was my hat. Not that I was believer or anything, but I prayed that I would make it home before it started to-

Rain...

"Have a good night, sir." The bus driver said I stood by the front, waiting for him to open the doors. "Don't uh, catch a cold."

I stood there, soaked from head to toe. I got caught, and it seemed like I was the only dumba## who forgot to check the weather because everyone and their mother had umbrellas. I had to take off my hat, there was no need to keep that drenched sponge on top of my head. I snapped my head so quickly at the driver's window that some water got on it. My response was simple, I narrowed my eyes and said, "F##k you."

'DoN't CAtcH a CoLD' Really?

I continued to walk down the road, glaring along the way. I never thought I would hate something so much like this feeling I had right now towards wet socks. Tugging at the collar of my uniform for work, I let out an irritable sigh. Well, there was that... and-