I Promise.

Sweatpants.

Chapter 19
"So before we start this group assignment, you've got some explaining to do." Rhodey said while looking at me.
  "I think we could start the group assignment. It's due Friday." I told him. I really didn't want to talk about it.
  "Clint and I could always come over to your house. Now, what's up with you?" Rhodey asked. He wasn't trying to be rude, he was just intruding.
  "What do you mean?" I didn't look at him. I kept tapping my pencil on the table.
  "You know what I mean, James." He never uses my first name.
  "No, I don't know what you mean, James." Both of our first names are James, so I used it to my advantage.
  "Why are you acting out? What's going on with you?" Rhodey asked. His tone was still calm. Clint was just watching it all unfold.
  "I feel useless, Rhodes. I feel useless and helpless. I feel like a burden. I can't keep doing this anymore, I can't." He instantly understood what I meant.
  "You aren't actually thinking of doing anything, are you?" He whispered, concerned.
  "No. I could never leave Steve alone. It's just, it's not like that thought hasn't crossed my mind lately." I admitted. It really had crossed my mind, more than once.
  "Bucky, you need to talk to us more. Everyone's here for you. Everyone supports you. We love you just as much as Steve does. You're our friend. We want you to be happy." I smiled at this. It was nice feeling this way.
  "We are all going to Tony's on Friday. We are dragging your ass along. You can't keep telling us no. Besides, Steve won't go unless you do." Clint added.
  "I'll go, I swear I'll go. Thanks guys." I smiled again, it was all genuine. "Now, can we start the project please?"
 
Tony dropped Steve and I off at home after school. We both went upstairs and put down our bags.
  "Is it alright if I go for a run? I felt pretty rusty earlier so I really need to." I asked Steve. I knew he wouldn't mind, but I still thought I should ask anyways.
  "Yeah, whatever helps you get better is fine by me." He said. I still feel really bad about last night. I can't believe I snapped at him like that. The bruise on his face disgusts me. It's like a constant reminder that I fucked up. I walked to the bathroom and got changed into my gym clothes. I haven't worn my own personal ones in quite some time. I opened the door from the bathroom and walked to go out of the bedroom door. Steve was sitting on his bed cross legged. He was working on what seemed to be math homework. I walked closer to the door, and then Steve interrupted me.
  "Can I at least have a kiss before you leave?" He said, his face still pointed down to his math book. He was writing.
  "God, you sure are needy." I teased. I walked over to him, bent down, and gave him a quick peck on the lips. If I would've done anything else I probably would've been here all day.
  "Be safe." He said as I was walking out the door.
  "I will." I responded. I left the door open so he could hear when I come back. I want to do five miles, so I mentally time myself for 25 minutes. I want to be fast. I want to be really fast. I then was off. I started running. I didn't really keep track, but I knew my route for five miles. It took me forever to figure out what it was, but I had it now. I followed the regular route. I looked down at my watch. 25:41. I could've gone faster. Next time I need to get rid of those 41 seconds. It was good though. 5 minutes for each mile. I never stopped once. I was too heated to stop. I forgot how good it felt to get my anger out this way. It was nice. I opened the front door and the cool air from the air conditioner hit me.
  "God that feels nice." I thought. I walked upstairs to my room. The door was still open. I walked in and Steve was asleep on his bed. His legs were still in the criss crossed position, and his book was still in the middle of if lap. He was leaning on his arm for leverage. I grabbed the clothes out of my drawer. I then walked into the bathroom and started the shower. It was a nice, cold shower. It was a good way to cool down. I put on a pair of grey sweatpants I had lying around in my drawer and a black shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror.
  "Good lord I need a haircut." I said aloud. I didn't realize how long my hair was getting. I'll just go after school tomorrow. My mom is off tomorrow anyways. I walked out, I feel my hair dripping onto my shirt. It wasn't too wet, but for some reason it won't stop dripping. I walked out and Steve was now awake.
  "You feeling better?" He asked. He was now just reading a book.
  "Tons. I forgot how good running was." I stated.
  "Your strings are sticking out of your sweatpants." Steve said. I didn't even notice him look up at me. His face was still shoved into his book.
  "Well, I can't exactly tie them." I frowned. I tried to tuck them in as best as I could, but even that was hard.
  "You can always ask me." Steve said, now he was finally looking at me.
  "You were asleep." I responded.
  "I'll wake up."
  "Is this your sly way of trying to touch my hips again, Stevie?" I teased.
  "Nah, this is my way of trying to not make you look stupid." He laughed. "And maybe a little bit of the other part, too." I laughed at that part. We were both on our own separate beds.
  "Seriously though, can you tie this? They are falling off of me." I asked. He laughed at my comment.
  "Sure." He walked over. I stood up so he could tie the strings. There's nothing weird about this. Two bro's just tying a string.
  "Don't get so excited, Bucky." He looked up at me. He finally finished tying the strings. It felt like an eternity.
  "How much math homework do you have?" I asked.
  "Not too much, why?" He knew what he was doing. He always wants me to say my thoughts out loud.
  "You know why, Rogers." And just like that, we were on the bed. Being two stupid teenage boys in love. I didn't care if my mom heard us. I just care about him. It's not like we are doing anything insanely dirty. We were just, you know, kissing. Kissing a lot. Like a lot. A lot of apology kisses. It was about an hour until we finally decided that we should get some work done. I couldn't focus. I was trying to read my book, but I kept focusing back on him. It was no secret I kept staring at him. He probably felt my eyes on him.
  "God, Stevie." I said aloud. The way he was sitting there made him look amazing. His jawline was flawless, and his blue eyes were amazing. The sun was shining on him and it made his blonde hair even blonder. I couldn't help but look at him.
  "Yeah?" He sounded so confused. God he's so cute when he's like that. There's a little piece of hair on his forehead. It was out of place and I had every desire to just move it.
  "You're so beautiful." I said to him. I saw his cheeks brighten up. His mouth opened to form words but they wouldn't come out.
  "Really?" Was all he managed to say.
  "Really."
  "God, Bucky. You're killing me over here." He leaned his head back on his bed.
  "Whoops. Sorry." I joked. He jumped off of his bed and flopped into mine. He then set his head on my lap.
  "Do what I did to your hair on mine. The homework is stressing me out and I need a distraction." He demanded.
  "Jeez, you really are needy." I laughed.
  "I did it for you, do it for me." So I did. His hair was really soft. It was a good bit thinner than my hair was, but then again I have insanely thick hair. Whatever I was doing must've been insanely right, because he closed his eyes and just enjoyed it. Or, enjoyed it for as long as he could. My mom knocked on the door and we both told her to come in. He sat up before she could walk in.
  "Hey boys." My mom said as she walked into the room.
  "Hey ma."
  "Hello ma'am" God why was he so formal.
  "Listen, Steve. I think that maybe it's time to clean out your old apartment. The bank wants to start selling it." My mom said. It was kind of like Steve was frozen. He looked like he could pass out. Both of us were waiting for his response. He was kind of just sitting there. He sighed.
  "Yeah, I guess it is time." He got up, slipped on his shoes, and went to go by the door. "I'll be waiting downstairs."