I Promise.

Blessing.

Chapter 28
                     12/13/2001
Bucky's family has been here for about four days now. Tomorrow is the preliminary hearing for the car crash case, which they are all going to see there to watch. The suspect was charged with vehicular homicide. It was really a severe case of distracted driving. I'm not sure how a driver of an 18-wheeler would ever play on their phone while driving, especially since it was drizzling outside. The roads were wet, he was on his phone, and he crashed straight into a Honda Civic. It was basically a recipe for disaster. Going to another topic, I've learned a lot about Jewish foods which is cool. A popular thing that Ida and Winnifred keeps making is called latkes. They are little potato pancakes. Hubbard also keeps making (and force feeding me) sufganiyot. It's a little jelly donut. OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Sweet noodle kugel. I don't know if they put crack in that shit but it's godlike. I don't eat too much, but I could probably eat a whole pan of it. Today Bucky is teaming up with his aunts to make Matzo ball soup. They said that it would "impress his future wife." Little do they know, I am his future wife. They also don't know he's gay, so I don't think there will ever be the possibility of a future wife. I wonder when he'll tell them he's gay, or really when he's going to say he's dating me. This whole "acting like we aren't dating" thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The most action I've gotten all week is a hug from his g r a n d m a and Tony jokingly smacking my ass. He's kissed my cheek like one time at school and that's it. It keeps making everyone think we are in a fight, but I just keep having to remind them that this week we are definitely not in a homosexual relationship. On top of that, Bucky and I both had to take some of our exams early today. We had to stay after school and take the exams we have to take tomorrow. It was our first and second hour exams, so mine wasn't too bad. I'm going to the preliminary hearing tomorrow, so I'm missing school. Since exams start tomorrow we had to take them earlier than the whole school. Best Christmas present ever. I'm just glad that I'm getting a break from this hell hole soon. Our last day is the 19th and it's only a half day. We only have our seventh hour exam that day, thank god. Before we know it, it's going to be a completely new year. 2002! Hopefully it sucks less ass.
  I closed my journal and jumped off of the bed. It still feels strange to be in the guest bedroom. I miss my room. I walked out of the room, immediately intrigued by the smell of the soup. Bucky is a really shitty cook, so I hope that his family is helping him a lot. I would've offered to help cook, but I wasn't feeling the best. I had a really bad asthma attack in sixth hour and I've felt like shit since. It made it worse that I got home late.
  "Faci o mizerie!" I heard Hubbard yell out.
  "La Naiba!" Bucky yelled out, dropping matzo balls on the floor. I'm not exactly sure what he said, but his mom slapped him on the head for it. I know his Grandma speaks fluent Romanian, but the rest of the family only knows some words. They could hold a conversation, but not nearly as well as Hubbard.
  "Oh, hey Steve! Are you feeling better?" Ida asked me once she noticed me coming down the stairs.
  "Yes ma'am. I feel like I can breathe again." I laughed. It felt like I was dying earlier.
  "Well that's good. Feel free to watch James make a fool of himself." Ida teased.
  "Du-te dracu!" Bucky yelled out. His mother then smacked him again. I don't know what he's saying, but I hope he keeps doing this because I love seeing him get slapped.
  I indeed did watch Bucky make a fool of himself. He made a giant mess. However, the Matzo ball soup came out great. I'm actually surprised that it came out so well.
  "Wow, who knew you could cook!" I exclaimed, shooting Bucky a shit eating grin.
  "I'm going to drown you." He said, deadpanned.
  "Oh please. You wouldn't do that. I'm your bo-" I stopped myself before I could finish. I really hope no one caught onto that. Bucky stared at me wide-eyed. I then shoved a matzo ball in my mouth in attempt to not finish this conversation. I really wish this broth was bleach.
  "Steven." Ida stated. I nearly choked at the way she said it.
  "Yes ma'am?" I said, my voice cracking in between words. Suddenly I hated eating at this table.
  "You seriously think we didn't know this already?" Ida announced. I was dumbfounded.
  "Know what?" I asked, attempting to play dumb. Bucky and I were now just staring at each other with full panic in our eyes.
  "We aren't stupid. You boys have been ogling at each other since you were young. It took us about five seconds to realize you two were a couple." Ida explained. My whole body was in complete shock.
  "Well. Happy Hanukkah!" I blurted out. This deserved laughs from all around the table. I wasn't exactly sure how to respond to her.
  "Why didn't you tell us that you knew?" Bucky asked.
  "We didn't want to make things uncomfortable." Hubbard answered. I guess that's a good reason.
  "So, you don't want to shoot us?" Bucky queried.
  "No? Why would we." Hubbard and Ida both responded.
  "No reason. No reason at all." I answered.
  After a couple minutes, we all finished dinner. This time I offered to do the dishes. Winnifred, Ida, and Hubbard went to sit on the sofa. Bucky stayed with me in the kitchen while I was loading everything into the dishwasher.
  "Can I sleep with you tonight? My back hurts from the sofa." Bucky whispered.
  "Sure. That's a lame excuse to just say that you miss me though. That sofa is super comfortable." I chuckled. I could see right through him.
  "Didn't want to come on too strong." Bucky said, shrugging his shoulders.
  "You have come on way stronger than that, Buck."
  "Well, this time we have company."
  I finished loading the last couple of things into the dishwasher, then I was off to the guest room. Bucky was trailing right behind me.
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  The room was pitch black, except for the small glimmer of light from the streetlight but the window. I don't really think Steve's asleep, and I sure as hell know I'm not. The preliminary hearing is tomorrow, and I'm kind of nervous. However, I don't want to think about that right now. In fact, I'm thinking about something else right now. Something I've wanted to tell Steve for two months, but I've never built up the courage to do it.
  "Steve?" I muttered into his neck. I'm just praying he's awake.
  "What's up?" He answered, almost immediately.
  "I want to talk to you. I want to talk to you about what your mom told me the night before she died." I choked out. I heard him swallow his spit next to me.
  "Alright." He responded. I really needed to get this off my chest. I swallowed hard.
  "Your mom has always known who I was. She's always known that I've loved people for people, not for gender. You happen to be one of those people. Ever since I was young she's always noticed that about me. She's noticed how I've always been unbelievably intrigued by you. She noticed how I started looking at you differently when we got older. It wasn't a look of friendship anymore, it was a look of something more. She knew I loved you before I even knew. The day she pulled me in there to talk to her she-" I paused for a second, allowing myself to catch my breath. "She told me how much she loved me, how I was like her own child. She told me that she's grateful for all I've done, but she knew that she couldn't make it any longer. She told me that she's trusting me to take care of you till the day I die. She was the first person to confront me on how I felt about you. She told me how much I mean to you. She told me how much I mean to her. She said that I'm the only one she's ever trusted to be with her son, to be with you." I finished. I felt his body shaking.
  "It was a blessing? She gave you her blessing?" He choked out, wrapping his arms around me. When she was dying, I thought it was strange for her to bring up marriage. I'm 17 and I don't want to get married any time soon. I told her this and she responded with "I have a feeling about this, Bucky." And kissed my forehead.
  "Yeah, she did. I didn't want to freak you out. We're only 17, and I'm not thinking about that until I'm way older. We have a whole life ahead of us. We are only in high school." I stated.
  "Could you imagine a future with me?" He asked.
  "Always have, Stevie. Just I want that future to be a good while from now." When I emerged from her room I had one thing in my pocket. Mr. Rogers wedding ring. Steve has no idea that I have it. She gave it to me. She said that Steve always wanted to have that ring when he gets married. His dad barely got to wear it, so he wanted to honor his father and his marriage. I thought it was sweet. My dad was buried with his wedding ring, but apparently Joseph wrote in his suicide note that he wanted Steve to have it. The story of the ring is sad, but I'm just glad that Sarah thought to give it to me. It makes me have butterflies in my stomach. It's hidden deep in my dresser drawers. No one should be able to find it except for me.
  "How long have you loved me?" Steve questioned.
  "Well generally speaking, I've loved you since first grade." I responded.
  "I mean, how long have you loved me?" He asked again. He enunciated really hard on the love this time.
  "Since we were 13. I realized it when we were riding the Cyclone at Coney Island and you threw up in a trash can when we got off." I laughed to myself. It was all true.
  "You were the only one who didn't run away screaming. Clint looked like he was going to piss himself." I felt Steve laugh against my body.
  "How long have you loved me?" I asked. I felt him hum while coming up with his answer.
  "Well like you said, probably since first grade. I've had strong feelings for you since we were sitting in Tony's hot tub. They threatened to throw me into the freezing cold pool in the winter and instead you jumped in and called yourself a sacrifice and said you didn't want me to get sick. You were shivering all night. That was Thursday, December 23rd, 1999. I wrote it down in my old journal." I couldn't help but blush at his answer. He remembered the exact date.
  "Why didn't we start dating earlier?" I asked him.
  "I was too stupid to realize I was bi, and you were too much of a coward to ask me out." He joked. I pinched his side, which caused him to twitch.
  "I wish I would've asked sooner. I like this." I blurted out, a blush rising to my cheeks.
  "What's this?" He teased. He always acts stupid to get you to say what's on your mind. It's always been his thing.
  "Lying here with you. Hearing you breathe next to me. I like it a lot. In fact, I love it. However, I don't love when you are having an asthma attack in your sleep, and I don't like when you shove your cold feet in between my thighs like some sort of monster." I explained. As soon as I said the last part, he shoved his cold feet in between my thighs.
  "I love you, jerk." He said while nuzzling his face into my neck.
  "I love you more, punk."