Bet On It | H. Styles

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One Year Later

For the first time in two weeks, the sun had finally shown past the looming clouds. Although, being back in Malibu typically has that effect. New York was a dreary place lately, clouds and rain dancing around the sky as if the music is never ending.

It was a blessing over here was warmer and sunnier, because after all, today was a pretty big day. The sun shone down on the blue water, making it glow a vibrant color as it encased my feet and sat beneath my pale green board.

I sat straddling my surfboard, treading lightly in the cool blue ocean. I was quite a distance from the shore, but that didn't bother me in anyway. I felt at peace being somewhat alone in the water. There were a few people that were more towards the other end of the beach, but they were a distance away so even though I eventually heard the shriek of someone being thrown in the water by someone else, it didn't break my zen mode.

I arrived around midnight last night, but that didn't stop me from waking up at seven in the morning to quickly get in the water. I knew if I didn't get in earlier, I wouldn't be allowed in later because of Patty and her strict ways. In all fairness, I really shouldn't be surfing on a day like today where I was due to get ready within the hour, but I didn't care. I was just too happy sitting on my board in the warm California air.

I managed to ride quite a few waves over the last three hours, never growing sick of it no matter how pruned my fingers were becoming. And I was going to go in soon, I just needed one final wave to satisfy my needs. I planned on sitting here until I got it. So, I sat staring into the horizon, patiently waiting for my moment to come.

Sighing in content, I shut my eyes as I felt the smallest breeze brush over my skin, giving my body comfort as the hot sun also beam down on my exposed skin. This would be the only time I wish I had so much stress in my life because I know if I did this would calm me down greatly. But, I had actually little to none for the first time in a long time.

I didn't have that same stress I had three years ago when I came here last. Work was going beautifully, and I actually had just gotten back from traveling a little over a week ago – although I did hop on a plane again just to come here. And I didn't have to worry whether or not my career would plummet or soar anymore. I had no crazy ex-boyfriend following me around to pray I get back together with him. I was well over my whole trauma from six years ago, not fixating on that secret coming out anymore. I wasn't miserable because the man I love doesn't love me and I'd maybe never see him again. I was the exact opposite of everything I was three years ago.

And it was so peaceful.

I think Patty came out to call me in about five times already, all to which I waved her off as I enjoyed looking at the water that met the lighter blue of the sky. A few times I got ready to swim over to a wave I could see forming, but they all turned to duds, barely coming two feet out of itself. It was okay though, because my time would come.

I couldn't necessarily blame Patty for getting frustrated at me, because I would get frustrated too at someone who wasn't listening and was frankly just plain ignoring me. I'm sure the moment I step back inside my home Patty will whoop my ass as if I was one of her children. I pray for all of those she births.

Like little Billy, who just surpassed his first six months on Earth.

He was maybe the cutest baby I had ever seen, and it took everything in me not to swallow him whole anytime I was around him. His sausage arms and legs were just so chubby that it takes a lot of self control to at least not bite into them. Patty admits she has those thoughts too, when she just wants to pinch his cheeks until he cries because he's just that cute.