Answers Of My Heart (completed)

chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty : It was a mistake

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(not edited)

Tori P.O.V

His hands traveled my body. Our lips moved in sync. The more he touched, or kissed me, Butterflies filled my stomach. Suddenly, he stopped. My eyes slowly opened. He was over me with his eyes closed and his thumb on my lips. "Tori?" he said. I looked into his now opened eyes. Those piercing blue eyes. "Yes" I answer softly.

"I can't do this. I can't do this to you" he said pulling away. Right there I felt everything crumble. I pulled away from eye contact. "I just don't -" I could not possibly get myself to listen anymore to what ever he have to say. "I get it Jake. I think you should leave now" I insisted. While grabbing my shirt. "Tori I'm-" he started saying. "No, it okay" I said faking a smile. As he climbed out I locked my window. I took off the light in my room, and Locked my door. I paced my room. I had the biggest urge to cry. I instead closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

I put on my shirt. I looked over to the big space in my room. Suddenly I started moving the chairs and paintings. Tearing down all my posters on the one side. Carefully placing them on my bed, I grabbed all my art supplies. I turned back on the lights. Carefully putting my hair in a pony tail and getting my iPod. I plugged in my head phones, and put on the music.

I Just started painting the empty wall with black paint. Up, down, up down, down. I did this over and over. When the space was covered, I got a smaller brush. With out thinking, I just started painting. slowly forgetting where I currently am. I used different varieties of paints, and brushes. I got paint on my black jeans, my cheek, and fingers. When I finished, I stepped back. Taking out my head phones, I heard the bell and downstairs door being knocked.

I whipped away my tears, as I went down the stairs. When I opened the door, I was pulled into a hug. I closed my eyes. As I hugged Zayn back, he whispered "Are you okay?". I pulled away, letting him in. "When you did not answer the phone, I thought something was wrong. Now you know I can't be on a plane for hours feeling like your not okay. Oh, by the way cool jeans" he said smiling at the end. "Thanks, I'm okay now. Don't you need to be on a plane right now?" I asked Zayn. "I should,but I don't need to. What I need to do is make sure I'm able to be there when you need me" he said, tapping the spot on the stairs next to him. I went and sat next to him. As I placed my head on his chest, he held me. "I would never leave knowing your not okay" I so deeply remember when Jason told me that when we were younger. Now everything changed. I have not talked to him in a while. He is usually off with Natalie. I guess that's the thing about growing up. you lose the people you thought would be forever.

"That means alot right now" I said, being completely honest. "So are you going to tell me what's really going on. I may not have known you as long as Jason, or Jake,but I do know when your not okay" he said.

"Well, everything is not going well anymore. I completely losing it. A boy should most definitely affect my life so much. I use to write in this book. What I wrote is exactly the truth and currently my reality" I said.

"What did you write?" asked Zayn.

" It's all a matter of time until reality hits us. All our bodies seem to do is break down,cry. Crying is good. It helps you release some of your pain. They say once you cry,promise yourself you will not cry about that again. Honestly Its easier said than done"

"Things will get better. They need to. I'm not sure how much I can see you hurt like this" For a long time, I finally felt safe. I'm lucky to have Zayn. I pulled away from his hold and looked over to the door. "What's the big bag for?" I asked.