Uncertain Chances

22: Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter 22

Louisse POV

Buhay pa ko no? Hahaha!

Okay, serious na!

I have my very own private reason why I did not contact Auren for a long time since I went to Germany.

Akala ko business yung ipupunta ko dun, malayo sa business matters.

It’s about me. It’s all about ME!

My mother is sick but not dying. She has this feeling na parang anytime pwede na raw siyang madeadbol. Alam niyo yun, iniisip niya lang yun. Kaya pinapunta nila ko dun. The reason? To reveal my darkest secrets na hindi ko alam. Paano yun? You’ll know later.

Sa bahay namen sa Pilipinas, I have no pictures when I was on my 20’s age. Sabi nila sa akin, nasunog daw yung dati naming bahay which I cannot remember at all. Parang ang dami nilang pinapasok na memories sa utak ko pero hindi ko matandaan yung mga sinasabi nila. Para bang somewhere in my past, something happened very tragic tapos gusto na lang tabunan yun ng mga happy memories para hindi ko maalala.

I have this selective amnesia when I was 21. Naaksidente daw kame. Car accident daw. They say that with the word “kame”. Tinatanung ko sila kung sino yung kasama ko. Sabi nila, I’m driving alone daw.

After that incident, we moved on to Germany to live there. 3 years pa lang ako ulit dito sa Pilipinas.

Those information are all lies. I just discovered this fact when I went to Germany just last month.

My Mom and I had this one-on-one conversation the night I arrived at Germany.

“Louisse, please don’t get mad at me after this ha? Promise me!” my Mom told me begging.

I can feel that anytime she is about to cry.

“Yes Mom! I promise!” I assure her.

“All that I’ve told you after the accident are all lies!” – Mom

“Wha-aat? L-liieess?” I’m about to cry.

“On the day of the accident, you are with your boyfriend. You are supposed to go to Baguio to celebrate your anniversary. Your boyfriend is not feeling well. You told him to exchange driving when he’s dizzy but he insisted to continue driving because you are sleeping.” Mom started explaining.

I want to speak but my voice is at its weakest volume at this very moment.

“His eyes shut down while an approaching car is coming towards your car. Then the accident came. He survived but you; we all thought that you have died already.”

"We have buried your body. Cried a lot, grieve a lot and hurt a lot."

Months later, your father and I received a text message from an unknown person saying that you are with them. At first, we do not believe that unknown person because of the fact that we have buried you already.

We went to Baguio. As the sender of the text message lives there. Malayo pa lang kame sa bahay nila, ang lakas na ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Di ko alam kung bakit pero parang may mali sa mga nangyayari.

When we reached the house, Isaw you. Tulala ka lang. Ang sabi nung mga nakakuha sa’yo na you’re in trauma. Your face, puro benda. Your face was totally damaged. We can’t even recognize you at first look.

Kinuwento nung nakakuha sa’yo yung posibleng nangyari nung aksidente. May nabunggo kasi kayong car db? Baka raw yung nakuha namen e yung nabangga niyo at hindi ikaw. Malapit daw kasi yung katawan niya sa kotse kaya napagkamalang ikaw. Your body was found meters away from your car. Ang nakakita sa’yo e yung mag-asawa. Dinala ka nila agad sa ospital at iniuwi sa bahay.

Ilang months din bago nila nakita yung cellphone sa pantalon mo. Nasira na kaya pinagawa nila. Dun nila nakita yung contact numbers namen and then they texted us.

After ka namen makuha, dinala ka namen sa Germany para ipagamot at ipaayos yung mukha mo. We did that secretly from everybody, even in our relatives.

We decided to change your whole identity. Your name, everything about you. Noong bumalik tayo sa Pilipinas, we said that we adopted you. You are my husband’s niece at ulila ka na kaya ka namen inampon. Naniwala sila and we are all living with that lie until now.

“How can that be possible, Mom? Change my whole identity?” I cried.

“Your face have undergone surgery because of the damage. We make sure that maiiba talaga yung mukha mo so that no one will recognize you except us!”

"Your former name was Alexandria, people used to call you Alex."

"We changed that to your present name now, which is Allouisse Gayle, Louisse as they call you.."

"That plan went on for about 5 years so that people have already forgotten about Alex."

"That plan happened successfully."

"I have no plans of telling you that but this stupid sickness, kills me! I just want to tell you the truth."

"After the plan, you healed."

"We fed you with false memories so that the tragic accident will be buried down in your mind. I know that time will come that your memories will come back.

Sorry if we let this happen to you. We want you to be safe, dear! Ayaw namen na ma-issue ka pa na The Return of the Dead."

“Sino yung sinasabi niyong boyfriend ko? I don’t remember anything about him!” I asked.

“Do you really want to know, dear?” Mom asked in return.

“Hmmm. I don’t know Mom! I don’t think if it’s the right time to talk about that thing!” I said.

“I want to rest now, Mom! And Mom, I am not mad at you. In fact, I am really thankful on what have you revealed to me a while ago!” I said while hugging her tightly.

“You’re welcome, dear! I love you! Mom said.

“I love you too, Mom!” I said in return.

“If you still have questions, just ask me. I’m willing to do that!” Mom said.

Kung kayo ang nasa kalagayan ko, gaganahan pa ba kayong mabuhay? Joke. Hehehe.

That’s the reason why I back-off from communicating with Auren.

Naguguluhan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon.

I’m searching for truths but I don’t know where to find them.

Dahil nandito ako sa Germany, I just keep myself busy sa business namen. I have various trips din around Europe. At some point, I was able to forget the revelation.

Hindi ko alam kung kelan ako magiging ready to face Auren.

I missed him but I will insist to have distance with him while I’m searching for truths.

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Oh anu kayo? Hahaha!

Nawindang ba ang mundo niyo?

Pagod na ko magtype.

Di ko na alam kung kelan ulit ang next update.

Hehehehe!

Thanks sa pagbabasa.

*^_^*