Uncertain Chances

26 : Chapter Twenty-Six

Marami ng nangyari. 

Ang bilis talaga ng panahon. 

Kami ni Fivo? Eto, nagcecelebrate na ng first year anniversary. Actually, may date nga kami later. In fact, pang-100 date na namin to. (Nabilang pa talaga) Share ko lang sa inyo. Baka interesado kayo e. Hahaha.

Si Fivo, as a boyfriend, mabait, caring, sweet and understanding. You know, the usual "boyfriend material" that every woman is dreaming about. Hanggat kaya niyang maglaan ng time saken, gagawin niya. Walang busy busy at pagod sa kanya basta ako ang humiling. Very generous rin to the point na kada ata punta sa mall, binibili niya ko ng something. Sige, ako na maswerte. Hahaha. 

Me as girlfriend??? I always make him feel special. I always tell him that I'm so grateful sa lahat ng kindness na pinapakita niya saken. 

In short, I'm just returning the favor. 

For that one year, sinubukan ko talaga. I tried so hard to reciprocate the love pero, you know, I was left hanging by someone. Ti-nry kong kalimutan yung mga memories we shared together pero I keep on wishing for more memories. The more I want to forget, the more I remember. Ang hirap ng sitwasyon ko. 

After that confession, hind ko na ulit nakita si Auren. Two weeks na siyang hindi siya pumasok nun at later I found out na nag-resign na pala siya. May offer daw abroad kaya ayun, immediate resign. After nun, wala na. As in wala na talaga, hindi na siya nagparamdam in all means. Naghihintay lang ako na baka sakaling bigla siyang magtext o mag-message through social media, pero as expected, wala talaga. 

That left me with no choice but to continue what I have started with Fivo. 

Hindi naman ako nagsisi sa naging desisyon ko na ipagpatuloy yung relasyon namin. I admit, it was a quick start pero it turned out to be exciting pala. Exciting in a sense na mas nakilala ko siya while on the relationship. Marami akong natutunan sa kanya like how to cook, biking, photography and many more. He's an ideal man for everyone but for me...  you know my answer.

My life is full of if's and but's. 

But upon waking up today, I feel the wind of change. It was so sudden pero gusto ko siyang gawin. I need to make a stand. I need to do those things that will make me at peace. 

I need to find Auren, to talk and to ask. I need answers. First things first. Dapat matagal ko ng ginawa to. Is it too late? 

I don't want to be left hanging when there is someone who's willing to grab and warm me with his tight hug.

 I want to start a real relationship with Fivo because I know and I am sure that he is worth my love. 

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Auren POV

Did you miss me? Hahahaha. 😁

Tama si Aissa, nagwork ako abroad. May biglaang offer kaya pumayag na ko. It was a dream to work out of the country kaya I was just accomplishing my dream. Don't you think of any other reasons kung bakit ako umalis. Yun lang talaga. Wala ng iba pang dahilan. 

....

....

....

....

Sige na nga. Oo, umalis ako para makalimot. Umalis ako to give way to a love that is about to start. Ayoko ng umepal pa. Kahit na alam kong may laban ako. Sabihan nio na kong weak o torpe pero ayoko lang talagang makigulo. She made a choice, I love her and that's why I respect her decision. Medyo weird lang yung naging basehan pero she's living with that habit ever since and I can't change that. I choose not to interfer with her choice. Nasaktan ako ng sobra knowing na I'm almost there but the moment isn't really for me. It was a smooth start pero it ended up hanging. It was supposed to be a period but unfornately turned out to be a comma. I wanted to explain and say sorry for leaving without goodbye but I ask myself, what for? Para guluhin lang utak niya lalo? Para guluhin yung nararamdaman niya? That's why I left and never came back until now.

I tried to move on from this feeling pero I failed a thousand times. I've met girls pero nothing change, my feelings won't change. Alam kong siya lang ang makakapagpaalis nito. 

How about Louisse?

We broke up a month after she came back to the Philippines.

Reason? She needs to find herself. 

I don't want to complicate things that why I agreed to that. I also needed freedom to think things on my own. 

I haven't heard anything from Louisse since then. 

I don't know if this is good news or what...

Right now, I am holding a plane ticket...

Standing at the entrance...

In a few hours...

See you Philippines... ✈

Note: As I promise! ✌