Rebel Just for Kicks (Billy Hargrove x Reader)

Chapter 11

You walk back to the living room, the room dimly lit. You see Steve and Kat having some kind of conversation. Steve is leaning back in the couch, with his head tilted so he is looking at the ceiling, talking about god knows what, while Kat sits there awkwardly listening to his blabbering. Mike and Polly have disappeared while Lewis and Tommy are sitting across from each other on the ground in the corner, laughing loudly. You look at both groups but decide to get Kat out of the awkward position she's in.
You let yourself fall in the armchair facing Steve and Kat, both of them looking at you when they hear the noise of the couch creaking under the weight.
'What?' You say grabbing a cigarette from your pack.
Kat looks at the clock above the fireplace which shows its 1:30 in the morning. You sure didn't have any perception of time any more.
'I'm going to bed.' She says as she briefly puts her hand on Steve's knee before standing up. You narrow your eyes, surprised by the gesture.
'Have fun.' She says as she walks towards the stairs, smiling softly.
You take your lighter out of your pocket and light your cigarette, still making a face.
'What's wrong?' Steve asks as he notices your behavior.
'Nothing.' You say slowly while blowing out smoke. I'm probably imagining things.
'If you say so.' He says and looks at your cigarette then at you.
'Can I have...' He starts.
'Jesus Steve, start buying your own.' You say as you throw him your pack maybe a little too aggressive.
'I will, I will.' He says as he fumbles around with the pack. You throw the lighter on his lap and he jumps a little, not expecting it. You smirk, letting out a little laugh. Steve mumbles something as he throws your stuff back at you.
'So how is it?' You ask as you put one leg over the other.
'It's weird.' He says chuckling. 'I could have tried it sooner.' He turns to face you, raising an eyebrow.
'Oh shit, yeah I'll give them back.' You say, remembering the bag of pills you took from Steve that day are still somewhere hidden in your room.
'I'd appreciate it.'

You listen to the soft music for a while. You don't know the song but it sounds so organic and clear. You tap your hands to the beat on the arm rests, the ashes of your cigarette flying everywhere.
'You know,' Steve starts, making a pattern on the fabric of the couch with his finger. 'You were chosen as queen at prom.'
You look up. Steve has tilted his head, his hair falling all to one side. 'But I wasn't the king.' He continued, wiping the pattern he created away. You look at your cigarette not saying anything, letting him continue his monologue. 'You know Johnny Allen?' Steve looks at you, you nod. He was one of the most popular boys at school. 'He was chosen. He was standing up there alone because you left already.' He chuckles. 'Every fucking girl dreams of becoming prom queen and you leave before you can even find out.' You completely forgot about the prom, skipping school almost everyday the next week because of the whole situation, except for the day you brought Chris to school.
'I don't understand why anyone voted for me.'
'I think you scare them.' He laughs. 'Hell, you scared me when I first met you.'
You look at him with a small smile on your face. 'And yet here we are.' Holding up your hands, your palms pointing at the ceiling.
'I never thought you'd be interested in me of all people.' Steve looks down.
'Come on Steve, don't be so insecure.' You stand up and sit down next to him on the love seat. You pat him on the back. 'Of course I was. Have you met you?'
He shuffles around a little uneasy. 'You are just different from other girls I've dated.'
'You mean Nancy?' You say laughing. 'That girl...,' You shake your head.
'She has some fight in her though.' Steve says.

You sigh. You don't really like Nancy, not only because she is the ex of your now ex, but she seemed so uninteresting. When you first met Steve they were still together, which didn't make her like you any more than you like her, since Steve was very flirty with you all the time. He was talking about the previous Halloween and before, you knew little about the events that happened around then. You were too busy worrying about your own things that you didn't even notice Chris was barely home and you were just mad at Steve because he was constantly out with the kids. You were left out of the loop the whole time and Steve only told so much. But Chris wasn't good at keeping his mouth shut.

'I still don't exactly know what happened.' You try your luck again. You sit sideways so you're facing Steve. He sighs. 'If you didn't see it you wouldn't believe it.'
'But what about the lab? They said it closed down and they found Joyce Byers' boyfriend dead there? What the fuck happened?' You start rambling.
Steve's eyes widen. 'How do you know that?'
'I... I got Chris to tell me some stuff.'
'What do you know?' He asks, lowering his voice.
'I know about a "portal" to some, other place. I know Eleven has some strange abilities. I know you,' You poke his chest. 'almost got fucking eaten by a "demodog". What the fuck even is that?'
Steve's mouth fell open a bit.
'Why didn't you just tell me? All I was involved in was cleaning your wounds after you got beaten the shit out of.' You continue, with a softer tone.
Steve looks at the ground. You hear Lewis and Tommy laugh in the background.
'I just wanted to protect you.'
You snicker. 'Sure.' Ending the conversation.

The song changes to Keep on Loving You by REO Speedwagon. Happy memories start to surface, it was one of the songs you sang along to together on long car rides with Steve.
You see Steve recognizes the song as well as he starts to smile.
'Remember, ...' You interrupt him, knowing what he's going to say. 'I do.'
'Come.' He says as he stands up and reaches out a hand to you. You look at Steve for a second, he gives you a small smile. You grab his hands and he pulls you to your feet. He leads you to the middle of the living room and he turns up the volume. You wrap your arms around his neck and he puts his hands on your waist. Before the chorus starts he spins you around.
'And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you...' You start to cry out together with Steve. Grabbing his hands in yours. You both sound absolutely awful as you don't even try to sing in tune. You start dancing and forget about anyone else in the room.

When the song ends you are both out of breath. You are suddenly hit by the meaning of the song and remember the times Steve told you he loved you. Your smile fades. You still feel bad for the way you treated him sometimes, for never being able to say "I love you" back. You don't know what it feels like to really love someone. All your previous relationships ended the same way. Them loving you and you not feeling anything. You liked them, but nothing more.

'I know I don't express myself often and I know it's the ecstasy but,' You say stuttering a bit, looking Steve into his brown eyes. 'I really am sorry. And you deserve more than what I could give you.'
He looks genuinely taken aback by your words. 'Y/N...'
'I just wanted you to know.' You say and let go of his hands, not letting him say another word and walk away towards the backdoor.

The dock has definitely become your favorite spot to sit this week. The urge to isolate yourself from others hasn't vanished with the ecstasy, so with the high still going on you decide to sit outside for a bit. Taking slow drags from your cigarette, you look at the stars, shining brighter than ever before.

'Mind if I join?' You hear Billy say as he already starts to sit down.
'Be my guest.' You mutter but you'd rather sit alone for a while. You don't say anything and keep looking at the stars.
You point at the sky. 'Do you see the Big Dipper?' You ask Billy as you connect the stars with an invisible line by moving your finger.
'I don't know what it looks like.' He says, his eyes scouring the sky.
'It kind of looks like a pan.' You say and grab his hand, scooting a bit closer. You do your best to point to the stars.
'The star at the beginning of the handle is called "Alkaid" all the way to,' you move his hand to the upper right point of the pan. '"Dubhe".'
'You know the name of stars?' He says, not knowing what to think of it.
You let go of his hand. 'I only know those ones.' You laugh, being discovered as a fake astronomer. 'My little brother is really into space, you should see his room.' You let out a little chuckle but Billy doesn't look like he's paying attention, instead he looks like he's still figuring out where the Big Dipper is.

You take off your jacket, it was a little chilly outside but your body temperature is definitely above average. You roll it up into a little ball and use is as a pillow to lay down on. You stare at Billy's hair for a while, softly moving in the wind. Every now and then some smoke rises up.
You would have thought you would be more energetic with this drug but instead you'd rather sit and observe the world in all it's beauty. After a while Billy lays down next to you, maybe a little too close, with his arm fully touching yours. You haven't said anything in a while but the silence felt comfortable.
'Does it feel different to you too?' You say as you touch his arm.
'What does?' He holds up his head to look at what you're doing.
'Just your sense of touch.' You poke his arm a couple of times and feel that he starts to flex.
You chuckle a little at the fact that he feels the need to do that.
'It does, yeah.' He says. You didn't know at first you were going for with asking about it but it seems like he got your hint.
He lifts up the arm closes to you. You know what he means and scoot closer to lay your head on his chest. Without thinking you put one leg up and put it over his, your arm over his chest. He lets his arm on yours.
'Damn this feels nice.' You say sighing. Some physical contact did you good. He starts to rub his hand over your arm, when he drags his fingertips softly up to your shoulder you start to get goosebumps. You change your position so you are looking up at his face.
He smirks. 'You know what else feels good?'
You shake your head. He comes closer to you. Oh no. But before you can fully process the situation he has planted his lips on yours. It felt electric, like the cliché fireworks were going off.
He pulls away, and studies your face. All he sees is confusion. You try and make up a sentence but can't put the words together, something that barely happens to you. Billy laughs at your failed attempts. You start to laugh with him.
'That's not the reaction I was expecting.' He says in between laughs.
'Shut up.' You say as you tuck your head away, feeling flustered.

You lay there for a second before the hard floor you're laying on starts to feel uncomfortable. You get up with a little grunt, leaning on one hand, you rub your side with the other.
'A bed is more comfortable than a dock.' He says out of the blue.
'I know, that's where I'm going to, alone.' You say as you fully stand up, looking at Billy's disappointed expression. You feel the high starting to wear off. You wonder how long you've been outside. Billy stands up as well. You lean down to grab your jacket. His expression changed to his usual and his eyes looked tired again. The high is definitely coming to an end.
'Goodnight.' You say, standing there for a second longer, not sure what you were waiting for but you walk away, leaving Billy standing there.