Vinesauce Oneshots

odd circumstances. (joel) (pet rat warning)

(Hi motherfuckers, it's herold52 again, I only put a warning in because some people don't like pet rats!!!)

(_frown told me to write something oddly specific so rats popped into my mind.)

It was about 4AM, and Joel's phone was ringing. Loudly.

He wasn't waking up, so you grabbed the phone and answered it yourself.

"What? Hello?" You coughed.

"Oh, hey (y/n)." It was Joel's friend, and bandmate, Frank. "So, something happened."

"Oh boy, what happened?" You asked, sitting up. Your head began pounding as he continued to speak.

"So, this is gonna sound insane, but someone left pet rats at my hotel room. Cage and everything. Insane, right? Well, I have no idea about taking care of rats, and I know you've had them before, so I was thinking... maybe you can take them?" He asked. You cocked an eyebrow.

"Dude. Is that even allowed in a hotel? ...How many?"

"Three. A dark blue-ish one, a white one with tan all over it and a black one with like... curly hair." There was a brief pause before you said anything.

"I'll ask the landlord. For now, go to the pet store and get them those Oxbow food blocks. And fill the water bottle." You stretched, reaching into the bedside drawer for ibuprofen. "Don't jerk away if you see them trying to bite you unless they're approaching you aggressively. They usually test bite to see if you're food." You grunted.

"Uh." Was all you heard from the phone. "O-okey. Know-it-all." He teased jokingly.

"What? (Y/n), where's my phone?" Joel finally awoke. You then put Frank on speaker.

"Joel? It's you? Duuuude, something insane happened. Someone dropped 3 rats at my hotel door. I was just asking your-" Joel swiftly cut Frank off.

"Rats? In my apartment? No way." Joel muttered.

"But Joeeeeeeel," you whined, "they're good pets! Maybe you'll like them!!" You interjected.

"No." He said, plainly. You looked up at him with pleading eyes, pouting. "Gah, fine! We can have the rats! Call the landlord, I'll stay on the phone with Frank."

One swift call with the landlord and a trip to Frank's hotel room later, you and Joel were wheeling a rat cage down the sidewalk back to the apartment you shared. You saw him eyeing the critters, a half-smirk on his face as you two approached the apartment, heading inside and setting up the cage.

"Damn. For some ding-dong-ditchers, they really put these rats in a high quality cage." You said, wheeling it into a nice corner where they could get good ventilation. "Stinky, though. We should probably head out and grab bedding and some cage wipes."

"How do you know all this stuff?" Joel asked, in a sort of deadpan interest.

"Grew up with a total of 20 rats. Not at once, but throughout the years. I've missed taking care of these little buggers." You smiled, reaching your hand into the cage and feeling as the rats came to you, sniffing and gently nipping at your fingertips before giving you soft licks on the hand. "They're really tame, too." You took your hand out and closed the cage, wiping your hand on your shirt. "Also, if we wanna clean the cage we're gonna have to get a carrier for them. I don't think you want rats running rampant in the apartment.

"I really don't. I'm only doing this because I love you." He mumbled as you grabbed the car keys.

A trip to the pet store later, you and Joel now owned a rat carrier, some fun multicolored rat bedding that Joel wanted, some cage wipes, rat hammocks, and a few fun toys and wood chews for the rats to play with.

"You're gonna have to hold the rat carrier while I clean the cage so you can bond with them and they'll know that you're one of their owners." You said plainly to him, placing the small plastic crate into his hands and watching him purse his lips. He sighed.

"Aaaalright." He muttered, watching you as you effortlessly lifted the small critters out of the cage and placed them in the crate. They immediately piled on top of eachother, snuggling up and flinching a little as you closed the crate. "A-aww. They're snuggling." He cracked a slight smile. You snickered, knowing that he would end up loving those rats. "Look, look! This one yawned!"

"Yeah. I see you really don't like rats, Joel." You giggled.

"I-I don't!" He defended himself, sitting down on the couch with the rats while you cleaned out the whole cage, scrubbed it down with the wipes, and decorated it. You cleaned out their food bowl, litterbox and water bottle in the sink and placed them back in. You placed a hammock on top and put a few treats in there for them to take. You missed doing this with your childhood pets, and now that you had more pets, you were happy.

You were so busy with your cage cleaning that you didn't notice Joel was laughing. You quietly turned to face him, watching him squirm and cackle as one of the rats walked around on his shoulders and sniffed his neck.

"Oh God, that tickles!" He said to himself in Swedish. You rolled your eyes and giggled.

"Cage is done, rat-lover." You said condescendingly. Joel froze, looking at you with the dumbest grin on his face.

"They're so weird, (y/n). Their little whiskers always move." He said, standing up. "And this one likes me." Out of his hoodie crawled the darkest of the three rats, the one with the curly hair.

"And just a minute ago you were saying you didn't want her in your house." You snickered, taking the crate from him and gently placing the rats back into the cage. You put your hand up to Joel's chest and the rat in his hoodie crawled out and onto you, and you placed her in the cage as well. "They're all girls, which is good. Boys and girls have different temperaments."

"I see." He said, watching intently as they began to run amok throughout their cage. "They probably never had toys before this. Look how happy they are!" He smiled.

"Yup. Bet you're glad we have them now, aren't you?" You asked.

"You aren't gonna pry an answer to that question very easily out of me." He replied. "Oh, oh! This one's waving at me!!" He pointed to the grey one. "What should we name them? I wanna name the black one Jarvis. And this blue- er, grey one... ehmmm.. you name her. And the white one. I only wanted to name Jarvis, honestly." 

"Then... I'll name the grey one Binx and the white one Flower. Sound good?" You turn to him for approval. He nods and chuckles, hugging you tightly and kissing your forehead.

"God, I love you."