Choices

twenty-two

Lauren's pov

(so I know that in this book it's June but I'm making Dani and Emmyn are already engaged)

"Lauren maybe you and y/n need a break, you're moving too fast" Christina said with a concerned expression. All of us sisters where sited in Christina's living room, because she called an emergency meeting.

She called us because she's 'concerned' about me, which I totally don't understand. I'm fine, nothing unusual is going on and she's acting like I should be in some psych ward, because I'm in really love with my girlfriend.

"Chill, we're not moving too fast" I crossed my arms and I heard a loud sigh coming from Dani.

"Dude, you kinda are. Yesterday you called me and had a full blown panic attack because she's leaving to Spain tomorrow" Lisa said and I shook my head.

"I just don't want her to go, is it that hard to understand?"

"It's not, but you need a break. It hasn't been a full month of you two dating and you're already 'in love'" Dani said with a comforting smile, but I felt how much she's judging me.

"Said you! You're dating Emmyn for a year and you're engaged. Is that really real love? Isn't that too soon?" Dani chucked at my statement.

"I'm actually in love with him and not like you with y/n. You're with her just because you want to feel wanted! There's no love in your relationship"

"You don't know shit!" I stood up and slowly made my way to my younger sister.

"Lauren!" Kath raised her voice because I cursed, but I shushed her and pointed my finger at my little sister.

"I love her because she cares! She loves me because I care! Did Emmyn care when you went though all that hate from Twitter? No! You were with us!" I yelled and now Dani stood up and pushed me back.

"Your girlfriend lives with you because she's oversensitive to her sister's comments! And does she really care? How do you know that she's with you for you and not the fame?"

"Oh really? She's not hungry for fans like Emmyn and she didn't want to move in with me, I wanted her to. And at least my girlfriend is getting education not like your highschool dropout, working at Whole Foods boyfriend!"

Dani scoffed and pushed me back again, and I did the same to her. I tried to hold back tears but it wasn't work it. She doesn't know what I'm really going through.

"That's enough!" Lisa stepped between me and Dani before our fight turned into something bigger.

"What's wrong with you!?" Christina yelled and threw her arms in the air.

"She's started this!" Dani pointed at me, she was definitely mad but not as much as me.

"No" Lisa held me back before I did something to Dani "you started this. Never ever talk about my relationship again! Understand?!"

"Sure, because it won't survive long" Dani sat back down in the couch, she crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow.

I took a deep breath and pushed Lisa's arms off of me. She sighed and hugged me but I immediately pushed her away. Lisa didn't give up and again she placed her arms around my shoulders and gave me a tight hug. And it broke me.

I started crying in my older sister's arms. I heard shuffling in the background and another pair of arms embraced me, and then another.

"Lauren, what's really going on" Christina said and the three bodies of my older sisters left go of me.

"I'm scared, I'm depressed, I thought about suicide couple times and y/n was the one reason why for those couple weeks all of that stopped. I don't want her to go because I know that it will come back"

"I didn't know that" Dani said as she stood up, she walked over me and tried to hug me but I moved away and she walked back to the couch.

"No one knew" I said quietly "I'm great at hiding how I feel"

"It's true, I live with her and I didn't notice anything" Amy hugged me but I didn't move away from her touch "I was a bad sister, I'm sorry"

"It's ok Ames, I just hid it very well" I smiled at my older sister and she hugged me tighter.

"Have you thought about getting help? Like maybe therapy?" Lisa asked and I shook my head.

"Lauren it might help, it helped me" Christina said "I know a really good person that you can talk to" she smiled and I nodded.

"What now?" Dani asked and all of shrugged.

"Let's just get back to our days and just relax" Chris stood up and walked over to her front door "so everyone get out!" She pointed at the open door and we slowly walked to outside.

Amy and I got into her car and drove back to our house. She was quiet, which is really unusual for her, so I decided to start a conversation.

"How are you feeling?" I asked and my sighed softly.

"I'm just thinking about what happened couple minutes ago" she smiled at me but kept her eyes on the road. "How are you?"

"Scared. I didn't want you guys to know about anything" I laid my head on the window "this is just hard, you know?"

"I don't how exactly you feel but we all want you to be old Lauren again. You don't have to hide how you feel in front of me"

"I know but I didn't want you to be worried" I chuckled and Amy gave me a confused look.

"I'm always worry when something is happening to my little, taller than me sister. I'm here for you Laur and I'll help you as much as I can when y/n will be in Spain"

"Thanks Amy, you're the best" I said and Amy laughed.

"I love you too Laur but now let's go home and help your loser with packing"

I'm reading this chapter before published and like sorry for some stuff but I was really mad and sad when I wrote it because I'm going through some really hard time rn and I'm in an awful mood but the next chapter should be better