Sinners and Saints II

Chapter 45

Olivia took a deep breath, holding on tight to the neck of her night dress as a tiny smile appeared on her face. The feeling of satisfaction remaining consistent in her heart as she felt Rafael's warm breath on her neck and his warm hands over her waist. She loved being right there, in his arms like that. Memories of their shower sex clouding her mind, filling her thoughts with unending regret why it had to end.

Olivia got exactly what she wanted. She got more than the distraction she had hoped for. She drew a deep breath, biting her lower lip as she tried to calculate how she could take a quick turn to face him without having to take off his hand or wake him. She made a slow turn, being as gentle as she could, her thighs throbbing as she slowly faced him now. She heard him groan softly as he tightened his grip on her. Her heart became even warmer as she rose her face to meet his.

A tiny smile found its place on her lips the moment she realized how peaceful he looked with his eyes closed, reminding herself of how extremely handsome the man lying in front of her was. This was one of the many reasons she loved waking up next to him. Unlike him, she was too deep in her thoughts about him to even sleep for a second. Too excited.

Olivia loved how perfect his upturned eyes were and how the tiny black dotted mark, his God mark, sat beautifully right under his right eye, making her stare at him even harder and then his pointed nose right before her eyes settled on his bow-shaped lips. She wanted to reach for it. To feel it.

"You're staring."

Olivia held her breath for a second and then scoffed out softly. And to think he was deep asleep from extreme tiredness. He was awake all along. She watched him open his eyes slowly till they were staring right at her. Olivia's face brightened even more.

"I thought you were asleep." She said almost in a whisper.

"Why aren't you?" He asked her too. Olivia let out a soft sigh.

"I can't sleep."

Rafael's blinked twice, he could feel she had something to say. He could feel she wanted to talk. He wanted to listen to her. He noticed her face dim down a little bit.

Olivia was trying to hold back her tongue. She was trying to stop herself so bad from telling him, from telling him all of it, from worrying him once again with all her problems but she just couldn't. She knew secrets meant nothing when it came to him. She told him basically everything.

"I met a woman Rafael." She started, burying her eyes on his chest so she didn't have to look at him while she talked. "A woman that knew my parents."

Rafael could feel his heart stop beating for a second. It was coming back. His guilt. Hearing Olivia talk about her parents again made him feel a rush of cold down his spine.

"She thinks my parents were murdered." She continued. "Thought at least."

Rafael was trying so hard to hide how uncomfortable that conversation was going. He managed to stay calm, listening to everything else she had to say.

"She was going to tell me everything today, she was, before someone shot her." Olivia's voice broke. "And I just stood there, watching, praying she didn't die on me like everyone else. I couldn't even do anything to save her. At that period, I felt so useless, I had never felt so sad and guilty about anything all my life. And to think that she would have been alive if I had not asked her to meet me....if I hadn't insisted on hearing her out and knowing the truth. And while I was in that hospital, I couldn't help but think it was targeted. Like whoever it was that killed her was trying to stop her from telling me the truth. I can't shake off the feeling that she was right.That my parents were actually killed by the same person that tried to shut her up permanently. I can't help but wonder how someone could take a life like it's nothing, how someone can savor in a fake glory of killing someone else. I can't help but ask why. Why anyone would want to kill my parents, why anyone would try to hurt them? They were good people. My parents never looked for anyone's trouble. They stayed minding their businesses. Why would someone want them dead? Why would someone go around killing innocent people? How do people like that deserve to live? Why do their families deserve to live off ruining other people's homes and lives? How can God be so cruel?"

Olivia took a deep breath. She only wanted to say just a little bit of everything but she was already saying too much. Especially with how Rafael just laid still, his head above hers, not saying a word.

How could he? What was he supposed to say? Rafael knew the moment he even thought of saying anything, the moment he told her the truth, she was going to walk out that door and never come back and that thought alone terrified him. The thought of ever admitting to her the truth about her past. The truth about her parents and his. The thought of confessing that his family were responsible for ruining her childhood... her entire life.

"Do you know my mother used to work as an accountant at your father's company?" Olivia said slowly raising her head to his. Rafael cleared his throat in a hurry.

"Sh-she did?" He asked managing to sit up on the bed. He was just too nervous to keep lying on it. Olivia nodded her head gently as she managed to sit up too. She was so sure she had his attention now.  She just wanted to tell him everything, to tell him how she felt. He was the only person she knew she could really talk to.

Rafael rubbed his temples slowly, fighting with his mind on what to do. He just couldn't anymore. He couldn't keep her in the dark like that. His guilt was killing him. So much for the one hour distraction, everything was coming back now. He just couldn't. He had to tell her. He had to just come clean and accept the consequences. He had to at least try, and then ask for her forgiveness after that. Who knew?

He drew a deep breath.

"Olivia," he started just as she rose her shifted her gaze to his. "Olivia, there's something I have to tell you."
He started right before Olivia's phone began to ring loudly.

God!

She hurriedly turned to it. Why had she forgotten to put it on silent? It was Amy calling. Olivia slowly reached for her phone and then let out a nervous exhale as she slowly turned to Rafael, hoping he didn't mind. He forced a smile on his face.

"Go ahead." He encouraged her. Olivia took a deep breath and then pressed the answer key.

"Hello, Amy?"

Rafael sniffed. Saved by the bell indeed. He could hear Olivia's conversation but his attention wasn't really focused on it.

"Yes Amy, I'm fine, I'm not hurt at all."

He gulped hard, taking deep breaths right before he heard a tiny beep from his phone. Rafael slowly turned to it. It was a text message from Sommadinah.

The last person he actually needed to talk to at that moment, but he found himself reaching slowly for his phone from the bedside table. He took a quick look at the text and then let out tiny exhale.

Good lord.