Sinners and Saints II

Chapter 58

Olivia took a deep breath as she watched the shocked look on Amy's face. It had been exactly ten minutes since she came clean to her, ten minutes since she told her the truth about the ALCS case and Randy's involvement in it. Even after she had told her about the tape and the reason why she had to leave Rafael's house, Amy still didn't make a move. She just sat still in her chair with her hands on her mouth and her eyes glued to the pregnancy strip on the wooden dining table. She was just the way Olivia was after returning from the hospital with her result of the pregnancy test.

"You're pregnant?" Amy whispered looking at the two red lines on the strip. She sniffed and then slowly turned to Olivia who just sat in her own seat, her eyes staring into the strip as well. "Olivia, you're pregnant."

Olivia sniffed and then nodded, trying not to be as lost as she actually was.

"I know."

She felt Amy's gaze slowly raise to hers.

"W-well are you sure?" She asked her. Amy was so nervous. "I mean don't you think a blood test would be better? Just to be sure?"

"I already had one at the hospital Amy," Olivia slouched her shoulders, sitting still. "The answer's the same. I'm positive."

Amy sniffed and then turned back to the white strip.

"How far gone are you?"

"About a month." Olivia shut her eyes. Why on earth was she answering Amy's questions so fast. She opened her eyes again and then took a deep breath.

"Does Rafael know about this?"
Amy returned her gaze to her just so she could see just how Olivia was reacting to everything. She watched Olivia shake her head. Of course he had no idea. She was just finding out herself.

Amy scoffed.

"Olivia, what on earth is going to happen now?" The concern in Amy's voice even terrified Olivia the more. "Now that you know the truth about what happened to your parents, now that you know Rafael's family is responsible, what are you going to do about this baby? Are you going to keep it?"

Olivia took a deep breath. She could feel her head banging from the migraine. She wasn't sure about anything anymore and most importantly, the life beating inside of her.

"Amy, " She exhaled. "To be honest, I've not really thought about anything just yet. I only just got the news. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. But above all, I'm terrified. This child is going to come in between a lot of things. It could change everything. The moment Randy knows about the tape, he's going to come after me, and that means he's going to come after my child. What if something bad happens? What if I end up loosing it to some other rich people agenda? I lost a child once in the past Amy, I can't bear loosing another child."

"Olivia, you have got to tell Rafael. You can't make any decisions about this child on your own. It's his child too. His own blood. He has the right to know."

Olivia sniffed.

"I know. Of course I know that. I could never dream of keeping this from him. I know what it's like to grow up without parents. I know how hard it'd have been for Grace if not for Rafael. If I'm going to keep this baby, I wouldn't want that, I wouldn't want any of my children to have to go through living without a father. I can barely do anything on my own at this point. Rafael made it clear that he's not on my side. He chose his murderous father and company over me, over us, over the lives of all those people twenty three years ago. I can never understand why he did, why he changed like that."

"Well have you considered maybe he didn't mean to?" Amy added. "Have you considered if he's being forced?"

Olivia looked at her.

"Olivia you said it yourself, Rafael's father is a dangerous man. What if he's somehow holding Rafael back? What if he knows who you really are and he's using that information against Rafael to get him to obey him? Didn't you say there was a lot of bad blood between them? Didn't you say Rafael hated his father? Didn't you say he was trying to help that man get out of jail before? How did all that change? How did all that change in one day? Something has to be wrong. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this."

"Even if there was an explanation Amy..." She paused, "You didn't see him the day I confronted him. It was just like before. The Rafael from months ago. The one that had lost his family and was broken by it. He was cold. He didn't even try to stop us from leaving. He's not even here now. He made his choice clear."

Amy exhaled.

"Olivia, I know this is a lot to ask but you have to be a bit considerate. This isn't easy for him too. Think about it. How do you think he possibly feels knowing that your parents are dead because of his father's selfishness? How do you think he feels knowing that your whole life was ruined because of his family? He probably hates himself for it. He probably blames himself for it. Anyone would, and that's because he's a good man. None of what happened is his fault or any of your faults. Rafael is a victim in this just as you. He's hurting in his own way. No one should be blamed for the sins of their parents."

"No one is blaming anyone Amy." Olivia got up slowly, folding her arms just slightly below her breasts and then turning to the window. "No one is blaming anyone for anything. Of course it wasn't his fault. We were both kids at that time. He isn't responsible for what his parents did, what his father did and I know that. It's just-" she paused and then exhaled. "I'm just tired of life putting me in the toughest situations. I'm tired of fate playing games with me, robbing me off all my chances of ever being happy. Of ever being truly happy. I mean, I thought it couldn't get worse with the Silvers but look at this, the man I'm madly in love with happens to be the son of the family that killed my parents and put me right in the hands of the Silvers."

Amy got up from her chair too. She walked towards Olivia.

"I mean what did I ever do? What have I ever done to get treated this way? Maybe I was a terrible person in my former life and I'm being punished for it, I don't know."

Amy exhaled and then slowly reached for her hand. She pulled her around to face her.

"Olivia," Amy looked into her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you, you can not reason like this. You can not talk like this either. Neither you nor Rafael has done anything wrong. It's just that life is shitty and confusing and sometimes, not worth it. But everything comes to pass in the end. Nothing really lasts forever, not even our problems. It's what you always told me. Take your own advice. Stop worrying yourself about things like this and just live. Take care of yourself and of your health especially now you're with child." Amy slowly pulled her hands down Olivia's arm so she could reach for her hands.

"Mnnn?"
She looked earnestly into Olivia's eyes for an answer. Olivia scoffed, a tiny smile appearing on her face. What did she ever do to deserve the woman standing in front of her?

"I always bother you with all my problems." She sniffed. "I don't even get to hear yours."

Amy scoffed.

"Trust me, my problems are boring. They are nothing like yours. They are not as fun as yours. You're really lucky you get to witness all these drama in your life."

Olivia chuckled just as Amy chuckled too. She felt any squeeze her hands.

"You're going to get through this. We would get through all of this. Trust me."

Olivia sniffed and then nodded her head. She trusted her. She did.