What I Think About Love

First Date I Ever Had

          Molly gave me Masons number. I cancelled the date so we are going to go for a walk. I wasn't dressed up or in a mood for a date. We are going to meet up here on the beach in a few minutes. Honestly I want to talk to him about today. I have that feeling that I can tell him just about everything.
     
    Even tho it wasn't a date there he was, with flowers. He bought me a bouquet of roses. My name may be Rose but I don't like to see them.

          "Hey Rose. Are you okay?" -the only question I'm hearing from people for the last 9 years came out of his mouth. But this time I think it was an honest question.

           We walked for hours and talked about everything. I liked spending time with him. He managed to pull me away from the problems and made me laugh. People say you should never stop smiling no matter what. Smile is a cure, not only for the soul, but also for the physical. I don't smile that often. Not since. Well you know since when. But today I really enjoyed smiling. That was a true smile I had now.
     
     I took him to a place where I spent time with my mother.  You know the place I told you about, which has now turned into a boardwalk with toilets. We were sitting there in a comfortable silence looking in the ocean. In one moment he took my hand and stood up. He took his fucking shirt off. You know those cringe parts in books when the moonlight shines on the girl's face, and she looks perfect? Well in my case the moonlight was shining to emphasize his abdomen, which was more than well-built.

           "What are you doing Mason??" -I stopped drooling and actually said something. He smiled at me and then ran to the ocean.

            "Are you coming?" -He playfully asked me and then he disappeared when diving.

            I was sceptical at first but I stopped being a buzz killer at one point in my life and took my shirt and pants off. Let's be real. What is the difference between swimwear a and underwear?
            Don't expect anything horny or touchy. I told you Mason was a gentleman. We were just swimming and messing around like two normal people who didn't think about sleeping with each other just because they're half-naked. We are not animals. 
     
       He walked me home after. Although I didn't want to go home, I had to at one point. He told me to give them a chance, that I should talk to my father and listen to his side of the story. Maybe he was right, maybe I should but I'm not going to do it today. It is still a fresh wound, in which I must at least stop the blood first.

             "Thank you for agreeing to have a walk with me." -he said removing my hair behind my ear. A cliché, right? 

             As he said that he leaned closer to my face. It's happening. I'm about to get my first kiss am I? I don't know how to do it. Fuck. I wasn't ready at all but I still want it to happen.
     
       He kissed me. Our lips touched and he put his DNA in my mouth. You know how in movies people feel fireworks when they kiss for the first time? I don't know if the problem is in me, but I just didn't feel it. Everything around me was supposed to disappear. For me, it was normal. No fireworks or butterflies, nothing. My lips only lost virginity to his and that's all. I don't understand why in books and movies they exaggerate with that one kiss.

           "Goodnight Rose. I hope you'll sleep well." -he said and went home. We were looking at each other the whole time until I got into the house.

           "Ro." -first thing I heard had to be my dad.

           "Not now. I had a beautiful night and I don't want your little family ruin it." -I went to my bedroom and when walking in the house I noticed that the door of the room where my mom was drawing were open. I got a little closer to see why the light was on.

            "Hey Ro!" - Juliettes voice came out of the room.

            "What are you doing in here?" -I was captivated by the scene.

            "Where else I'm I suppose to be? It's my room."

            "No. It's my mothers drawing room and you shouldn't be in here." - I said with a cracking voice almost in tears.

            "Your mother is dead Ro it's not her room anymore." -she said it with a straight face out without any mercy.

            "How dare you, you little spoiled brat?" -I burst into tears.

            "What is going on out here? I'm trying to have a good night sleep and you two are making that impossible." - Gabriella said coming out of the main bedroom.

             "Why is Juliette in my mothers' room?"

             "Oh sweetheart that's now Juliettes room." - Gabriella said putting her arm around my neck.
              I pushed her hand away after which she gasped in pain.

              "You two are disgusting and have no respect for my mother. And don't you ever call me Ro again. Are we clear?" - I pointed my finger at Juliette. Not giving them a time to say anything more I quit and went to my bedroom. I slammed the door so hard that I woke up my dumbass neighbour which came to the window to see what is going on.

             "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." - I said closing the curtains.

             "Wait. I really did mean what I said this afternoon." -he stopped me from closing them

              "What do you mean?" -I forgot what he said to me. I had too many things on my mind that time. Not that is better now but at least I can hear what people say to me.

              "My apology. I really mean it you know? I couldn't think last night so I turned out mean. My name is Noah by the way."

               "My name is-" - he cut my sentence.

               "Rose. I know."

               "Who's stalking now?" -I said laughing

               "I heard your name in the club so I remembered it. It's a pretty unusual name that you can't forget when you hear it." - Noah said.

               "It's okay. It's really not a big deal anyway. I wasn't nicer to you either. But hey. You deserved it. You did do a wrong thing by fucking his girl."

               "He's a dick Rose" -he made a serious expression on his face.

               "You don't know him." - I replied.
               "Oh and you do?" - he ironically said back

              "Why do you even care? You're such a pain in the ass you know? You go on peoples every nerve. I'm going to sleep." -not saying or waiting more I closed the window and went to bed. Why does he always have to ruin a conversation? Why the hell can't he stop being a dick for just a few minutes and talk normally. Without having stupid statements.