What I Think About Love

Room 124

I'll finally get to see her. My grandma. They told us to be prepared, but you can never be prepared to see someone in pain. Dad and grandpa were silent the whole time. I was walking behind them following their path.

"There she is. Room 124." -grandpa said and stopped.

We reached the grey and dull doors that looked like all the other in this building.

"You okay dad?" -my dad asked grandpa.

"Yeah. I'm just nervous. Even more then I was on our first date. And trust me I was a nervous then." -grandpa said laughing as always.

"Come on you too, she's waiting for us." -I said pushing them in, but I wasn't sure if I could see her either.

She was alone in the room. The hospital room was more like steel, cramped box. How much things have changed in the past thirty years. Its walls were now cream not green. Green is a shade of springs and effervescence, and also hope but they removed it and replaced it with a vain creamy paint. There was no decoration at all, only separated beds and white curtains on the windows that were placed at the far end, and were eroded metal frames, only openable at the top.

Grandpa approached her, kissing her on the forehead.

"Hey my love." -he said holding her hand and placing it on his cheek. Her hands were thin and were shaking.

Her body was weak. Cancer is a disease of the cells, which are the body’s crucial building blocks. Cancer occurs when abnormal cells grow in an uncontrolled way. These abnormal cells can damage or invade the surrounding tissues and are spreading to other parts of the body, causing further damages that are physically visible. Her eyes were colourless, almost white. It was like she couldn't see. After a while she won't remember who I am and then she will pass away. I had hope until I saw her. She was exhausted and scared.

"Hey grandma." -I approached her too. You could see the confusion and fear in her eyes. She wasn't sure who we were. "Someone is here to see you." -I said.

"Hey mom." -my dad showed himself to her. We were scared at first that her heart won't take it but when she saw him her eyes teared up and smile appeared on her small, lean face.

"Robert. Is that you my son?" -she said in tears.

"I am a mom. I'm here. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier." -my dad said falling on his knees in front of her bed.

"You aren't that late I've been here for only 3 days now." -she said laughing and crying at the same time.

"I am late mom. I'm 9 years late. I left you all. I was selfish and now you are going away and I have no time to make it all up." -my dad said with his head down because of shame.

"Who told you I'm going away? Don't you know I am no quitter?" -she said jokingly with a serious face and we all laughed even tho we wanted to cry our souls out.

"You are right mom. You will get through this and after that I won't let you go." -my dad said laying on her bed next to her. She then wrapped his arms around him.

"I love you so much Robert but it's not me you have to make up to. It's our Ro that was alone." -she said grabbing my hand.

"I wasn't alone grandma. I had more then I could imagine. I had you and grandpa and you two gave me everything I could ever wish for." -I said to her.

"I love you so much Ro." -my dad grabbed my hand. "And I am more than proud of you and what you've become."

"How long are you staying here?" -granma asked us.

"We are going home tomorrow. But we will definitely come to visit once more." -my dad said to her.

We spent the rest of the afternoon. I texted Jess that I will make it tonight. I can't stay at home. My thoughts were burry me alive. We are meeting at 7 o'clock on our favourite spot.

When we got home we had dinner together and it was already six-thirty so I had to be going. Our favourite place wasn't far from my house but K wanted to have a slow walk and torture my mind. Just the thing I didn't want to do. I was worried about Noah and his state now. He didn't call or text. That was my fault because I kinda pushed him away for good. He deserved it but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know if he's feeling better. He is such fool and I want to punch him so bad for doing something like that to himself.

Soon as I realized I was already there, in the back of our high school. There was this one entrance that we discovered under the grandstand. There we had lights, fountain if we get thirsty and some teenage hooligans who would come here to smoke weed. I waited for her and luckily for me no one was there, so I wasn't afraid of getting kidnapped.
I heard footsteps near the entrance I was telling you about, but I couldn't see if that was Jessica or not. I confess I got chills all over me. I was trying so hard to see who is coming, but I tried not to be obvious in case it's not here.

"Jess is that you?" -I called her name but nobody answered.

"Jess?" -I tried one more time and no one answered once again. The dumpling in my throat was getting bigger and the sweat on my hands was dripping all over the place. I got really anxious. Fuck.