What I Think About Love

On The Edge Of Death

I saw them getting very comfortable with each other in a cafe. He was touching her thigh and she didn't mind at all. She was getting closer to him like she wanted to seduce him even more. She was sitting next to him and was gently stroking his arm. I felt like I was hamstrung. I couldn't go there and yell and I couldn't just stand here and watch.

"Molly? How could you?" -I said after I decided to go and make a move.

"Rose!?" -they both said and shifting away from each other.

"I'm disgusted with both of you. But I'm just disappointed in you Molly. I thought you and I were friends." -tears appeared in my eyes.

"Rose. Give me a chance to explain myself please?" -Mason said coming towards me.

"Don't get any closer Mason. Just stay where you are. You don't have to bother explaining cause I don't care what you or she have to say to me." -I walked away.

As much I wanted to cry I just couldn't. Tears weren't coming out. They were here but didn't want to fall down my face. If you were ever so badly hurt that you couldn't cry, I'm sorry. When you get deeply hurt, fear really does hit you. That's what you feel first and then comes the anger and disillusionment. I wasn't so disappointed at Mason then how I was in Molly. I trusted her with everything. You know what Molly if you were going to stab me in the back you could at least hide the knife. The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. It's the betrayal you feel in your heart that has come from a friend. Mason wasn't the one who broke me. You can't control someone's loyalty and I'm aware of it. No matter how good you are to them, doesn't mean they will treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn't mean that they'll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least. And I knew that. But Molly caught me off guard.

I went home I didn't have the strength for life anymore. I simply want to go home and get away from everyone. And then I remembered I have daddy issues at home. I got home planning on taking my sketchbook and leaving. Somebody just had to change my plan.

"Dad wants to talk to you." -Juliette said doing her nails on the kitchen counter.

"Well I don't have time right now for any of it." -I said.

"It's very important and you would love to hear it, trust me." -she said frowning.

"And why is that?" -I asked.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" -she said ut the moment dad came to the room.

"What is she talking about dad?" -I said.

"I have some big news I would like to share with you." -dad said.

"Get to the point dad I have to go somewhere."

"Me and Gabi are getting married in a month." -dad announced.

"Great. This day just keeps getting better." -I said raising my hands in the air.

At this point I didn't know if I should laugh, cry or hit someone with a chair. It was really late and luckily no one was on the beach. I headed to the only place I knew no one was stupid enough to go in this hour. It was too dark to go on my special spot. There was no light and the woods was surrounding it. Wind was singing through the trees, taking loose leaves for a dance. At the same time, the waves were hitting enormous rocks placed on the edge of the sea. I know it sounds beautiful but waves and wind together sounded more treacherous than sedative.

I finally reached the place. I sat down and started thinking about everything. After a long time, I cried my soul out. I felt emptied from all of it. As I was letting my soul out in the ocean I heard something. I startled not knowing what or who it was.

"Who's there?" -I asked trying not to show my fear.

"Hello?" -I asked again

"Ro." -a tormented and weak voice came from the darkness.

"Who are you?" -the voice was familiar but I still didn't know who it was.

"I'm not feeling good Ro. Help me." -a figure finally came out of the darkness.

"Noah? What are you doing here so late?"

He fell on the floor and began to quiver. He looked like he was possessed, but a lot worse. Foam was coming out of his mouth and his skin was bluish purple. He let out some kind of choking sounds that sounded like a snore, like gurgling noise. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't know what to do or how to help him. I have never seen something like this before. I called 911. They came with boats and helicopter because there was no hospital in Cannon Beach that would help him at this point.

I was so, so scared. I was sitting in a helicopter near him not knowing if he's gonna die or not. My heart was beating so fast. I can't see death. Not yet. I'm not ready to fell it again. The pain. Even more I'm not ready to see it.