What I Think About Love

It's Him

"Who's there" -I asked once again, but still no answer.

And then I saw red, thick curls running towards me. It was Jess I knew it. She was tall, which I was always jealous of and had a svelte figure. She was an ideal of beauty to me.

"Still afraid of that It movie we watched together?" -Jessica said with her high-pitched but silvery voice.

"You scared me to death Jess. Fuck you." -I stood up and hugged her. I was so happy I finally saw her after two months.

"What's new. I want to hear all the details." -she said enthusiastically.

Before we even got to the main topic we first laughed our asses off. Our conversations were constantly discursive and euphemistic. We would always head in totally opposite direction then our chats should be about. We never ran out of the things to talk about. That's what I liked about us. Nothing we said made any sense and nobody then us would find it funny or interesting to talk about.
After the whole evening of laughing and being happy to finally be together in our conversation, the subject was mentioned. My grandma.

"I can't believe it Rose." -she said after I told her the whole everything about my grandmas condition. "But I'm glad your dad got his shit together in his head and finally decided to visit them. And of course you. Who is it there? Is everything alright?" -Jess said.

"It's awful Jess it really is." -I said.

"Why? What's happening?" -Jess asked me.

"I found out my dad is a whore and that he has a daughter a little younger than me. Like two months younger and now I have to live with his little family for the summer. Which is honestly awful and I don't understand why would he cheat on my mom with that cow."

"You're shitting me right now aren't you?" -she said with disgusted and sceptical face expression.

"I wish Jess. I wish I was shitting you."

"Want some?" -she offered me a joint.

I know what you're thinking. You were talking crap about Noah for taking drugs, but you do it too. Little two-faced hoe. For your information, weed is much lighter drug then what he had taken and I don't smoke every day. Just occasionally.

"Nah, I'll skip this time. That's the other thing I need to say to you." -I declined. Happy?

"Oh come on. You never skip it." -she insisted.

"Give it to me." -I accepted it. What? She was pretty convincing.

"Let me hear about boys you were texting me about." -she said lighting me the joint.

"Well, I had my first boyfriend this summer and it didn't go as planned."

"Woah. You had a boyfriend? What happened? Did he find a better friend than you?" -she said laughing.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant under boyfriend. And yeah he did find a better girl friend that was also my girl friend."

"Wait. First of all, he cheated on you with your friend? Second of all, you have a female friend that's not me. You cheating friend whore." -Jessica said jokingly.

"Not anymore I have. I dumped both of them. They were in Portland together. For two freaking days. And I was waiting at home for both of them to come so that we could go out. I guess he wanted to fuck and he didn't have that with me."

"You didn't sleep with yet?" -she asked confusedly.

"Like you were expecting me to sleep with him. We were together for a month straight. It just didn't feel right with him you know. Did you sleep with Marcus already?" -I asked curiously.

"No, we are having this pure relationship thing going." -my mouth fell as she said that. "I'm kidding Ross. Yeah we did." -she said punching me in the shoulder.

"And?"

"What and?" -she asked pulling the joint.

"How was it? When was it? What happened after? Was it awkward? You know all that glory details."

"We broke up a month after it." -she said laughing.

"Who broke up with whom?"

"I broke up with him."

"Why?"

"I realised he wasn't what I wanted."

"Someone is brave."

"I just realized it's better that I'm alone. I enjoy more and there is no unnecessary conflicts. I can do or flirt with whoever I want. My options are constantly open. It wasn't that good with Marcus. He got into a bad company and he started with some heavy drug shit. That just wasn't for me. I tried to get him out but he refused the help. So I pulled away and I went down my own path." -she said. I honestly admired her. I don't know why. I just did.

"You know that other boy I talked to you about."

"Irritating neighbour?" -she cut me off.

"Yeah. His name is Noah and we got pretty close in this few weeks and then I found out he was a drug addict. And I pulled away just like you."

"Did you try getting him out of it?"

"He almost died in front of me."

"That's not what I asked you. Did you try to help him?" -she said and then it hit me.

"No." -I said with a disappointed face. Not disappointed in Noah but in me. I pulled out not offering him help.

My phone started ringing and when I looked at my phone to see who it was, I couldn't believe it. It was him.