To See The Stars

Chapter one: Jax

I am what one might call a troubled person. Can I even call myself a person? I'm more of a... "it" if anything at all. In my opinion, I don't think people should even say my name, but that's just my thinking. One might say different, but I doubt anyone would say anything. That's okay though, I don't mind.

In fact, I prefer it.

I'm getting off track. Point is, I suck, my life sucks, and everything in between. You would never expect such a disturbed person from a family so "normal". It's a shame I ended up here in this therapy group, but what can you do?

My chances of ending up normal were pretty high, of course, I beat the odds though. Hurray... My family is well, normal. Or normal to most people, who come over for dinner. When they go home though, the atmosphere is very different.

It's quiet.

Silence filling my ears, deafening silence, kind of quiet. I grew up in silence, and learned to love noise. Every moment at home, filled with silence, I started to fill m days with noise. Starting fights, getting in trouble, creating chaos in peace. I guess that would make me something of a "Bad boy". But what can I say? I love the chaos.

Of course like I said, I know how to fight, I've fought enough, to know that I'm pretty good at it. I don't just fight for the sake of it though. Not anymore at least. I have a set of rules I follow now.
    1. Did they f*ck with someone I care about?
    2. Are they a piece of sh*t?
    3. Is there something to be gained from fighting them?

My three rules. Of course too often then not I still end up fighting a lot. But that's mostly thanks to having to protect my friends. Damn some of them, just can't keep their mouths shut. I used to fight a lot more, mostly without reason too. Just cause I was bored. Which is how I got a lot of the scars that decorate my face and body.

The noise helped me understand that people are assholes. Thankfully, I too, am an asshole. At least, that's what the teachers say about me. Well, I guess that's why I got stuck in this group. My mom said it was supposed to make me feel better, and be "normal". Whatever that means. I blame the school, they probably called and said I was being troublesome(not the first time of course)

The group isn't horrible though. At least from what I can tell. I mean it's just a group of problematic kids, which isn't too bad. Everyone has their issues, and everyone deals with them differently. But there is one person who piqued my interest.

His name is Jack. And from what I can tell, he's one of those kids, who don't talk unless spoken to. And when they do get comfortable, they spill their life to you. There's something else too. He's got just about the same amount of scars on his face, as I do, but he doesn't seem like the type to get into fights, willingly.

I'm guessing someone in his life, loves to beat him, and loves it a lot. I hope I'm wrong, but I doubt I am. He's a perfect example of the tragically damaged people that inhabit this earth.

"Jax?"

People can be very obvious, you just need to learn to see the clues. I guess that's the best thing that could have come out of living in silence. You learn to listen to things people aren't saying. And you get a lot of practice. Of course, sometimes I wish people would just speak to me instead. Maybe this group will be a good thing.

"Jax?"

I feel a hand on my shoulder causing me to whip around, and come face to face with our group leader, Noah. His mouth sits in a frown, with his gentle blue eyes searching into mine like he's looking for someone who gives a shit.

"Are you okay, Jax? I've been calling your name, and you're just staring off into space.", Noah asks.

"Yeah man, just got a little lost in thought."

Noah's concerned expression doesn't release, "Well group started so do you want to join us?"

Not particularly.
"Yeah, sure."

I follow Noah into the small squared room that makes up our group. A circle of chairs, make up the space, and a circle of troubled people reside in it.
I take a seat next to Big Ol' Brian. The guy is a hulk. Standing at a massive height of 6"6, he is terrifying. The thing is though, he never talks, never.

It's fine with me though, as I'm used to it.
I nod to Brian in greeting, causing him to raise a brow at me. Instead of saying anything, he just grunts. Close enough, I think as I turn my attention back to the group.

"After Conner gave me the $300 necklace, I broke up with him." ,Julie says.

"Why did you break up with him?" , Noah asks.

"He gave me a butterfly-shaped necklace, when I specifically told him I wanted a heart-shaped necklace!" , Julie shouts,
throwing her hands in the air, like what she said was a completely normal reason to break up with someone.

"He gave ya a damn necklace didn't he?" , I ask.

"Well yeah, but it was the wrong type!"

"Ya, but it was a gift, a $300 gift at that."

"So?" , Julie starts rapping her fingers against her arm rapidly, as her eyes begin to dart around the room, wildly. I decide to let it go. She won't understand and she will just get pissed. It's not my problem.

"Never mind, Julie, forget about it.", I say, a bit more viciously then intended.
Julie just scoffs, "You wouldn't understand. It's too complicated for people like you.", ending with narcissistic smirk, and folding her arms over her chest happily.