To See The Stars

Chapter Eighteen: Julie

It's only when I am standing in front of my house's tall wooden doors, that I realize I just walked home. I sigh to myself before typing in the passcode to open the door. I walk up the stairs to my room, on the 3rd floor. I walk in my room and close the door behind me. I peel off my dress, and heels, and sit down at my makeup table, naked, and empty. It was only a second before the sound of a notification from twitter sounded out. I peeked at my phone, and immediately regretted it. A status update from Conner. He changed his relationship status, to taken. Guess he's moved on already.

I drift my eyes to my closet. And then I'm there, looking through it for a specific cheap amber colored box decorated by a large heart sharpied onto the front of the box. It's near the front of my walk-in closet, hidden within other forgotten souvenirs from around the world. Pulling it out carefully, I drag it into the middle of my room just beside my bed.

Throwing open the top of it, I'm immediately hit with the smell of Conner's cologne. He must have doused the box with it. I love the smell though, it's Creed Aventus Eau De Parfum Spray for Men. I bought it for him when I was in Paris with Rachel and Madison.

I smile to myself a bit as I pick up the Kyoto Ningyo(Kyoto Doll)that Conner got me when I took him on a trip to Kyoto, Japan, for his birthday. Yeah bitch. That's right, I flew my boyfriend... Ex- Boyfriend to Japan for his birthday. Problem?

The doll's colors still radiate the same beauty that struck me when I was in Japan, and it still strikes me now. I place it to the left of the box, carefully. I shifted through a few tickets from plays I went to that I kept, and the beautiful pictures of Conner and I, in the Kinkakuji Temple, at a tea ceremony, and bathing at Mt. Kurma's hot springs. Shifting through these little pockets of time, until I come across an amber colored photo album with the outline of a Macaw on the front of it. I pull it out. Running my fingers across the cheap plastic covering, before flipping open the front.

Forgotten childhood memories sit before me, in laminated sleeves. Captured moments of a beaming six year old girl swimming with a manta ray, an amazed seven year old holding a Koala bear in Lone Pine Sanctuary(Australia), A smiling nine year old in a gorgeous white skirt that has been splattered with colorful paints after participating in the festival of Holi in India. Mom loves to travel, so most if not all of my childhood photos are of the two of us around the world. I flip through the pages until I come across the photo of Rachel, Madison, and I, at ballet. The first time we became friends.

In the photo, Rachel and Madison's faces are fixed in a brilliant smile. A smile breaks through my defenses. Photos of us three, start to fill up the pages. But as the years go on, Madison and Rachel's smile turns into a smirk. Like they are in on a joke that I'm not aware of. As I flip through the album, one thing becomes apparent. They never actually cared. All this time I've been showering them with gifts, trips, and power. And they've hated me this whole time.

Page after page, photo after photo, it's all just lies. My heart pounds in my ears, as I keep flipping through. My hands tremble, threatening to rip the pages with each turn. I'm not even looking at this point. This is wrong, it's all just so wrong. The tears in my eyes don't even feel real. Nothing feels real. They will pay for this. Someone will pay for this.

The only person who stands out right now, is Conner, for a reason I don't understand quite yet. That's when things go dark. And my heart acts, and my brain finds itself in the passenger seat.