Written Poetry

Thank You, Next

When I first welcomed love, I was 8
His name was Louis 
And his smile would complete my day
Even though he still didn't have a complete teeth
Even though he still messes ice cream on his face
Or even though he doesn't know how to read yet

I fell in love not because of how messy he eats
I fell in love not because of how loud he cries whenever his teddy is not with him
I fell in love not because of how afraid he is to swim

I fell for his courage.
On how he surpressed his tear when he tripped off at the park
Even though everyone was already looking at him
Even though his face already went straight down at the cake

I fell for his humor.
I loved how he amuses me with his tricky face
Knowing very well on what to do to make my heart race

I fell for his honesty.
I was amazed on how he claimed that he was the one who broke the vase
I was amused that he did not point out the dog for it
Because honestly, if it was me, I would definitely blame the dog for the broken vase

We were neighbors and we were classmates
Our parents were the best mates
I could already picture out building a family with him
Even at my young age

Louis was my first love and I thought he would be my last
Little did I know, he also likes men

The second time that I saw love,
I was in my junior year
Love was shy and smart
He exceled in every exam that I couldn't ace

Love tutors me everyday after school
We would go to the library and study
He taught me physics and biology
Later on, I realized we already had a chemistry

Libraries turned into coffee shops and fast food restaurants
Studying turned into watching cinemas and holding hands
Making overnight projects turned into late night phone calls
Listening to the teacher turned into stealing glances from each other

Love became a distraction

Our grades went down
Love's name wasn't on the top five list
He was very disappointed with it

Love needed more time to study
We both wanted to set our priorities
And during that time, love was not on the list

So, Love and I decided to end our chemistry

The third time I saw love,
I wasn't so sure of it
Love has this smug look on his face
As if he wants everyone to fear him

But when I got to know Love more,
He is the one who is scared of the world
Love was traumatized with its cruelty
And chooses not to be a victim anymore

With me, Love was kind

He would fetch me to school and walk me home
He would wipe my sweat away with his handky
He would send me sweet messages every single day
Love gave everything I need

Love bloomed
And Love made my first kiss memorable
Under a huge oak tree while fireworks were splashing on the sky
I remember, that was December three

Love and I were the perfect couple
Both of our parents support us
Everyone believed we would end up together
And I believed too

I believed that this time, Love was real

But Love always needed assurance
Love always wants me to ask permission from him
I was obliged to tell him about everything I do every minute of everyday

Love stopped trusting me

Love became the jealous type
He kept on accusing me with things I did not even do
Love would always ask me if I'm already seeing someone else
I would keep on saying no, but Love would always insist

Love made me suffocated
I could no longer breathe freely
It feels like I'm stucked and being controlled

I knew then that Love was not for me

So, I pushed the door wide open and allowed Love to have his grand exit

And the next time I allowed love to come,
I made him knock first
I didn't let love graciously enter through the front door either

I challenged Love
I tested how Love was willing to risk and do everything to have me
I placed needles and thorns on the door, but love still continued to knock
Love was so persistent to make a way

Everytime I push Love one step away from me,
He would come back with two steps forward
Everytime I would add a lock and security on the door,
Love would make way to unlock the chains

With grease on his hand,
With sweat on his forehead, and stitches on his heart
Love was able to break down the door

And once more, I welcomed Love with a huge smile

He may not be the first that made my heart race
Or made me realize what chemistry is
And Love may not be my first kiss
But I am sure Love is the one that made the door completely sealed

Love took good care of me
He was there to cheer me up when I am gloomy
He was also there to celebrate with me when I have made achievements
Love was always there
Love made me feel that he is mine
Love was honest, kind, and loyal

Love showed me what Love really is
And by that time, I have known that I have found true Love

Love may not be the first person I thought he would be
It may happen to you as well

Love may not be the one that is sitting beside you right now
Love may not be the person that made you cry for sleepless nights
Love may not be the one who's giving you shivers on the spine

Love could still be someone else
Love could be somewhere else

He might be situated at the edge of the world
Love might be sleeping while you are wide awake
Love might be taking his breakfast while you're already taking your dinner
Love could be in the library, school, prison, or in the hospital

And there is no assurance that who is Love in your life

So, just let your door open and let Love come in
Once you would realize it was not the right Love
Then push the door and leave it wide open
Let that Love leave, and say "Thank you, Next"

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