Written Poetry

I'm Here, Waiting

Standing at the doorstep
Smelling my coffee and taking a sip
Feeling the clock ticking
Because I'm here, waiting

For the man who used to be my knight in shining armor
The one who was always willing to take any bullet for me
Who was there whenever I feel sick
Who was there supporting me with every decision I make

I'm here, waiting
For the man who used to care about every second that's happening in my life

Because that man have lost his direction in life
The one who used to wake up every morning with a bright smile plastered on his face;
As if every moment in his life is a blessing,
As if each day of his life is a gift

The one who always finds time every morning to bow his head and pray,
"Oh God, thank you for this very wonderful day."
That man who feels grateful for  everything that's going on in his life

I'm here, waiting
Because now, he is nowhere to be found

In just a snap of a finger, everything changed
He left me all alone in this home that felt like a cage

He left me all alone because he has changed

From the bright morning dews,
To the dark meaningless nights
From the shining smile,
To the emptiness mirrored in his eyes
From the source of light,
To the one who spreads darkness at night

From being a righteous man,
To a criminal in disguise

He used to be engulfed with light,
Maybe he became fond when he saw the dark,
Curiosity might be the reason why
He chose to be engulfed with darkness and not with light

Opening his arms wide,
Welcoming the demons lurking around
Who are wanting to stay at his side
Telling him to choose the burning ground

I'm here, waiting

For the man who used to carry a pen to fight,
But now, he's spending his time always carrying a gun or knife
Meth are secretly placed in his socks,
His eyes reveals the secret he hides

Late nights were spent on the streets,
Deals were made on the gang
Shaking hands and tapping each other's back
As if they have an agreement signed in a sheet

But I'm still here, waiting
For the man who used to tell me to ignore the demons inside my head
For the man who used to tell me to fight when everything doesn't seem to be right
For the man who always see to it that things will be fine

I'm here, waiting

For the man who easily gave up
When he was betrayed by his very own brother,
When he lost his job,
When he couldn't save the life of her wife-- my own mother

Maybe it was my fault too
Since I didn't tell him the words he told me whenever I feel down
I didn't even tap his back and said, "I'm always here for you, Dad. Everything will be fine soon."

I didn't let him feel that I am here for him, that I care

I shut him down

I turned my back from him

I dragged him down

It's all because I was a coward

I shouldn't have turned my back from him when he said he had lost his one and only job

I shouldn't have slammed the door shut when he was begging for forgiveness

I shouldn't have told him that he was the reason why my mother lost her life

I shouldn't have acted blind when I saw his broken smile
with tears streaming down from his eyes

But if ever he feels the emptiness in his heart,
While thinking about her daughter from afar
And longing for the time when everything was still fine

Then, he should know that I am...

Standing at the doorstep
Smelling my coffee and taking a sip
Feeling the clock ticking
Because I'm here, waiting for him