"I just wanna dance with you, baby"
you said while grabbing my waist and swung me around. We were up high on the Hollywood sign just to watch the sunset. It was our fifth anniversary and it should be something special you said to me that's why you organized this picnic for us on the most beautiful day this summer. I couldn't be more happy.
You packed my favourite fruits and champagne, played my favourite songs by Bowie, Cohen and the Beatles, made me happy in any way.
It was perfect and nothing could ruin this moment.
Unfortunately with every high comes a downfall.
It didn't last long. The sun was already gone and all I was left with was you.
"I'll be right back baby"
That's it. You're gone.
I hoped you were going to pee because we drank a little champagne but I knew that wasn't it.
I looked around I couldn't see much except all the stars shining above us. The birds stopped chirping cause they waited for the morning to come around.
I thought that maybe this time you wouldn't do it. I thought maybe this time you listened to my words and stopped.
Well, you did it anyway.
And I just sat right here where everything was okay just seconds ago knowing if you come back it wouldn't be okay anymore.
I didn't want to cry. I wanted to be stronger than that but I remembered what my friend said to me a while ago
You don't ever have to be stronger than you really are
So I let a tiny tear fall down my face into the ground.
Eventually you came back. Immediately I could tell that you've changed.
You know someone's pattern when you've been with them for five years.
I knew you took them again even though you told me you've thrown them away. I believed you. Again.
"Baby? Come on!"
"What? No, we don't have any music.."
I said as I try to look into your eyes but you avoid any contact.
"We don't need music. I'll just sing for you. I know you can't resist my voice"
This time you looked me in the eyes with a crooked smile and I could tell that you took those damn pills again.
"Miles please stop it. I know you've done it again. I can see it in your eyes. You're not yourself right now. Come on I'll bring you home"
I said to you. I could tell you didn't like my suggestion. Anger spread all across your face.
"Why the fuck do you care anyways? I can do whatever the fuck I want with my body. It's none of your fucking business"
I know, if I would say another unpleasant thing to you it would be the last minute on earth for me. So I say nothing. I sat down onto our blanket that you brought for us. I couldn't watch you fall again so I shut my eyes and felt the darkness. I know you want to get better but this fight is taking forever. I can't do this anymore but I'm staying strong for you.
As I looked up you were standing in front of me, your hands running through your hair and your face was slowly breaking.
"I'm sorry" you said " I didn't want to shout at you again"
I simply nodded. I knew you didn't want to.
"Babe please forgive me"
you came down to me and took my hands, trying to find my eyes but I couldn't look into yours. I was too damn hurt this time.
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Hey guys! This isn't part of my story but it's a little oneshot I just wrote and I don't know I wanted to show it to all of you
Let me know what you think of it :)
