Again | g.d

Part Twenty One

I'm still zoned out, but I know my head has snapped up. I can't help but look at Grayson, who is already looking right at me–making my heart stop beating right in my chest.

He's trying to tell me something. I can tell by the look in his eyes–in the way his jaw is locked.

I want to ignore it. I need to ignore it. But I can't. Not when everything in me is screaming to me that I shouldn't.

The first thing I do is look out into the crowd. I catch Cameron's eyes, and when I do, she nods slightly to me.

I look at Ethan, who sees the whole interaction. He shakes his head violently, already knowing what's running through my head.

Would it even matter? Last night, Grayson looked me in the eyes and told me to leave when I poured out my heart to him. There's no way he's telling me to speak up. Right?

I look at Grayson, one final time, and his eyes are still on me. The same expression is on his face. It's barely anything–and if I were anyone else I probably wouldn't read into it—but I know Grayson better than I know myself. It's enough.

"Savannah!" Someone whispers sharply.

I snap out of my thought and lock eyes with Avery, who's looking over her shoulder at me. Her expression is a mix of confusion and rage.

Why is she looking at me like that?

I look away from her and around the room, only to notice that everyone's eyes are on me and I've stepped away from where I'm supposed to be and closer to Grayson and Avery.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asks me angrily, still whispering.

I furrow my eyebrows, looking back at her. "I–I–I don't..." I trail off, trying to gather my thought.

"What the hell?" She asks harshly, this time loud enough for everyone to hear. "Are you trying to object?"

A quiet gasp leaves the audience, and I feel more terrible than I ever have in my life.

I look at Grayson desperately, for help, for anything, so I don't look like the only bad guy. He looks away, and my heart breaks in my chest for the millionth time.

I'm done.

I swallow the lump in my throat, straightening up and looking Avery in the eyes. "No," I say strongly. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Grayson's head snap up to look at me. "Fuck this," I say under my breath, dropping my bouquet to the floor.

I know I'm being a bitch. I know I'm being totally selfish for ruining her special day. I'll have time to feel bad about it, later.

Right now I'm just over this entire thing–Grayson, included.

Everyone watching let's out their shock again. I look like a total idiot, but when have I not?

"Savannah!" Avery scolds.

I look at Ethan. Then at Grayson. Then at Avery.

"I'm sorry, Aves," I say painfully, feeling a hot tear fall down my cheek out of hurt and frustration. "You're gonna have to finish this wedding without me."

She gives me a weird look. But before she can open her mouth to question it I walk back down the aisle of the chapel, holding on to my dress to make sure I don't trip.

"Savannah, stop!"

And I do. Instantly, my feet become glued to the floor. I don't have to turn around to know it's Grayson.

My whole body is trembling. My back is still facing everyone as I stand right in front of the door.

Everyone in the chapel is talking. As seconds pass I can make out the various words I hear flying around the room.

"Savannah, don't go," He says softly. Chills go down my spine at his words.

"Grayson?" I hear Avery ask next.

The tone of her voice makes my chest hurt. I'm too stunned to focus on it for very long.

"Will someone explain what's going on?" She asks again, still unable to wrap her mind around what's happening. I barely can, too.

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath to tell her the truth.

But Grayson beats me to it. "I love her, Avery."

He says it in front of everyone. Loudly, clearly, fearlessly.

I wish I could be just as confident.

I feel embarrassed for ruining this. I feel even worse that Avery's being embarrassed in front of everyone. I'm overwhelmed that Grayson is actually confessing the secret I've been hiding for so long. I feel slutty just hearing it out loud. I feel confused, because just last night he basically told me the exact opposite. I'm lost in all the new emotions and thoughts rushing through my head second after second.

I need air. I need space. I need to think. I need to cry. I need to scream.

So I do what I do best. I shove open the chapel doors and run.