Again | g.d

Part Twenty-Three

My eyes flutter open, and I immediately notice that I'm not anywhere near the church. I squeeze my eyes shut, wincing at the bright light shining down on me.

I'm in a pale pink dress, and I can spot a pair of matching heels sloppily placed on the floor on the other side of the room. I reach out to yank the bobby spins stabbing me out of my head. And when I grab hold of them and let them drop to the floor, I notice the sharp pain in my head is still there, and my fingers are covered in semi-dry blood.

I try my best to sit up on the hospital bed I've been placed on, but I feel so light headed it's hard to even lift my head up.

"Fuck," I groan, plopping back down on the stuff pillow underneath me. "What the hell did I do?" I ask myself quietly.

"You fainted."

I snap my head up to see Ethan standing in the doorway of my room. I feel a rush if relief wash over me just to have him feet away from me. He's smiling at me, but I can tell he's not as happy as he's letting on. Not that I can blame him.

I stare at my crimson stained finger tips in shock, trying to process what he's told me. "Did I l my head?"

"Yeah–pretty fucking hard," he says quickly, not bothering to sugarcoat anything. "The stitches they gave you are badass, though," he adds, making me laugh.

As soon as the first noise comes out of my mouth, I suck in a sharp breath at the ache spreading through my head from laughing.

"Ow," I whine, clutching the back of my head.

Ethan chuckles. "The doctors said the stuff for your pain will kick in soon," He says as he motions to something next to me.

I look over to see an IV hanging above my head, and follow the tiny chord attached to it with my eyes until it stops in my wrist.

I didn't even know that was there.

"I should've eaten something today," I push out. "I think the coffee I had plus the pain medicine is messing with me," I mumble, unable to take my eyes off of the drip in my arm.

Intrigued, Ethan finally leaves the doorway and walks over to the chair right next to my bed. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," I nod. "I had the weirdest dream."

Ethans eyes flash with something I can't quiet make out. "What happened in it?" He asks me hesitantly, like he thinks something is wrong.

I put my hand on my head. "God, this is going to sound ridiculous," I start.

I laugh out loud at how stupid I'm about to sound, immediately regretting it because of how badly it leaves my head hurting.

"Try me," Ethan challenges.

I take a deep breath. "Okay, so, you know how I dated your brother back in high school?" I begin. "Well the dream took place in the future. So, like, all of us were older. And I ended up at his engagement party. And Jack was there, and you were there and - oh my God - you will never guess who Grayson was engaged to!"

Ethan's face drops. "Savannah–"

"No. Not me," I say seriously. "But that was the problem! I was in love with him, and he was engaged to–"

"Avery?" Ethan interrupts me again.

I look at him questionably. "How did you guess that so quickly?"

Ethan clears his throat. "Because it wasn't a dream."

I stare at him blankly, and for a second, as things start to piece themselves together and I begin to remember everything, I can't even feel my headache.

"Holy shit..." I trail off, slightly embarrassed.

"I get it," He speaks up. "This whole thing has been crazy for you. On top of that, you did hit your head. I'd think it all happened in my head, too."

In a split second, it all comes back to me. All the feelings and thoughts from this summer are swirling around my head. And in the midst of it all I can only think about one thing–about one person.

"Is Grayson here?" I ask breathlessly.

"Yeah, he is." Ethan sighs, pushing out of his chair. "He's been really upset about something since we left the church."

I fill with sympathy for him. "Do you know where he is?"

Ethan opens up his mouth to answer me, but is interrupted.

"Right here."

I look up to see Grayson walking into the room. He's still in his tux, with his tie undone and hanging around his neck. His hairs a mess, and if I look close enough I can see how puffy his eyes are.

I remember Ethan's words and immediately put a smile on my face. And it's not fake. I'm glad I get to finally see him. We don't have to hide the fact that he's standing in my hospital room right now, and I don't have to try and deny the fact that I just want him to hold me.

We're free to finally be together. No shame, no lies, no guilt.

I hold out my hand to him. "Come here," I say softly, scorching over to make room for him.

Grayson hesitates for a moment, but eventually trudges over to my bed. Ethan takes that as he cue to leave, and disappears into the hallway without a word.

Somehow Grayson crawls into the bed and lays right on top of the covers next to me. I curl up into his side as he wraps his arms around me to stroke my hair.

"I'm sorry I don't make you feel like you're enough," He speaks up after a moment.

I look up at him. "What?"

He takes a deep breath. "Before you passed out," he reminds me. "You were freaking out about ruining things. And you were scared that I'd regret choosing you instead of Avery."

I look back down. "Oh," I say quietly.

It is how I feel. And I worry about it every time I look at Grayson. I just can't believe I actually said it out loud.

"You are everything I've ever wanted, Sav. And I hate that you can't see yourself the way I do."

"I know."

"No, you don't. Because I've done a terrible job at showing you that. The way I broke up with you, the way I treated you while I was with Avery. I didn't love you like I should have," He says slowly.

I can feel him squeeze me a little tighter. "You're the love of my life. And there's not a single thing you could ever do to make me feel any different."

"Gray–"

"Fuck, I love you so much Savannah. And every day I'm gonna show you just how much I do. I swear, I'm gonna do better. I'm gonna love you how you deserve to be loved."

I cuddle up even closer to him, feeling a tear slip out of my eye. "I love you, too, Grayson," I whisper, trying to hold myself back from crying.

I am enough. I do deserve Grayson, and I deserve to be happy.

And for the first time, I believe it.