Again | g.d

Party Twenty-Five

I look down at my phone in disbelief, unable to process the message staring back at me.

"You know you have to pack your things before we can move, right?" I hear Ethan tease me as he steps into my room.

His words pull me back to reality. "Y-yeah." I say quietly, still gaping at my phone.

Ethan peaks around me. "What the hell are you staring at?"

I motion to my phone silently. Ethan walks closer to my bed and sets his box of belongings onto it to pick up my cell phone.

Can you come over? I think we should finally talk about some things.

I watch the relaxed expression on Ethans face turn to one of shock. He looks at me questionably, his eyebrows raised. "Who sent you this?" He asks me, although we both know the answer. He opens his mouth to say a name.

"Avery." I croak, beating him to it.

"And you guys haven't spoken since the wedding?"

I shake my head numbly. "It's been three months."

I was at peace with it all. With everything that had happened between me and Gray, things between me and Jack, and things with me and Avery. I was at peace with the fact that she would hate me forever. I had put all the guilt, worry, hurt, and insecurities behind me.

And now, three months after all of it, I had to face them all over again.

"Are you gonna go?"

I barely nod. "I have to," I breathe out. "It's the right thing to do."

This conversation is going to suck. But I shouldn't leave Jersey until I've tied up all my loose ends. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't running from this. Truth is, I should have texted her a long time ago. But I was scared - and I still am. I finally have to own up to all the wrong I've done - to how terrible of a friend I was to Avery.

I take a deep breath, picking up my phone to send her a reply. "I'll be back soon."

Ethan nods, stepping out of the way. "Anything I can do while you're gone?"

I stare at him blankly, still trying to pull all my thoughts together. It's hard to with so many things swirling around in my head. "Um, if you could start putting my things into the truck that would be great," I say hurriedly, turning my back on him to walk out of the room.

"And Grayson?" Ethan questions me, making me pause.

"Don't tell him," I say seriously with my back still to him. "I don't want him to worry, or anything."

"You don't have to take the fall for everything, Savannah," Ethan says softly. "Grayson was apart of this whole thing just as much as you are."

"I'm not going to," I lie.

"You say that like I don't know the type of person you are," Ethan chuckles. "Look, you can spare him the pain of feeling what you've felt wrestling with this whole Avery thing... but it's not fair to you."

I sigh. I know it's not. And I know that if Grayson knew what I've been feeling, he would do whatever he could to make me feel better in a heartbeat.

But it's taken me so long to be okay with who I am. I've struggled for months with what I did to Avery - questioning the kind of person I am, second guessing if I deserve to be with Grayson any more than Avery does, and hating myself. If leaving Grayson out of it keeps him from feeling the same way - I don't care if it's not fair. I love him, and it's worth it.

"I'll see you when I get back." I send out.

"Grayson's lucky to have you. Don't ever doubt that for a second." He tells me intently, after realizing I'm planning on taking the fall for it, anyway.

I smile, before disappearing out of my room and rushing out of the house before Grayson can see me.

It's finally time to put this to rest. For me and Avery's sake.