Alive but not Awake || Bucky Barnes [1]

Realisations and Doubts

Captain America: The Winter Soldier | Alive but not Awake |Realisations and Doubts

Sam, Natasha, Steve and Bucky were all confined inside one of the Shield vans; tied up and secured. Although, Steve and Bucky's ties were a substance that they couldn't break into without a key or their shields to slice through it.

Bucky was next to Steve, he stared numbly ahead of him and Steve was no better than him. He knew Bucky was telling the truth about Ava, he would never joke or lie about something like her being. "It was her." He told everyone, his brain didn't feel like working right now but it needed to; he couldn't break down- not now. "She looked at me, and all she saw was a mission to eliminate. She didn't even recognise me except as a vengeance mission for something."

Sam looked confused, "How is that possible?" He questioned, trying to think of how some girl from 1945 was both alive and still the same age as the super soldiers last saw her. "It was like 70 years ago."

"Zola," Steve spat in disgust, finally coming around to his senses to know his own twin sister had been in the hands of the enemies again, ever since she fell out of that train because of them. "Ava and her whole unit were captured in 43. Zola must have experimented on her."

Bucky's eyes widen slightly in realisation, "Whatever he did, it helped her survive that fall – she was never dead like everyone thought she was." His voice was low, boarding around angry at himself for not realising sooner, "He must have found her-"

Natasha blearily blinked her eyes, she could feel herself fading and fast if this blood flow didn't stop soon, "None of this is your fault guys," She slurred, her body felt like it wanted to go to sleep but she wouldn't let it.

Steve and Bucky ignored her, "Even when we had nothing, we had Ava." Steve mused; all this time his twin was alive and who knows what she's been through in those 70 years other than being controlled.

...

Winter sat up on the Doctor's table that was hooked up to a machine as ordered, she had failed in her mission so now this would be her punishment – it was to be expected since when she first started; there had been a couple of mishaps in her behaviour; but as time went on she knew what the procedure was. When she failed something in her orders, she would get punished by this machine and she still didn't know what it did. Right now her metal arm was being fixed after that fiery red head threw the electricity button to stick on her arm, causing it to slightly malfunction.

Her mind had wandered ever since that scene back with Lieutenant Barnes; he had called her Ava. Who was Ava? Was she Ava? – No, she couldn't be. It was Winter; The Winter Soldier! Dr. Zola had saved her from them when she was on one of their missions, he had to amputate her arm to the metal one when it had been ripped off because of those two. Her memories were lost completely because of the extent of her injuries. She had ignored it before; but there had always been a feeling that there was a ticking time bomb inside of her, something that wanted to desperately to get out, but there was another something blocking it. Was it those memories that were long gone?

Why was she looking for revenge again? What made her believe everything these people told her? Why was she having all this doubt now? She had been working for these people for over 70 years and how come had she only realised now that they may not have been fully truthful about everything they had told her.

Everyone was given a name when they were born, who would call their child 'The Winter Soldier'? Who was her mother? Her father? Did she have anything from childhood and who was she? The façade 'The Winter Soldier' felt designed, powerful but lonely and aggressive. What had she become and why was she so stuck in her head about all this when it had never bothered her before?