A Fallen Starr

Chapter 5: All Along

A lot of the time, I remember that being a friendly neighborhood kid that always smiles and says good morning to everyone that he met. A kid with a happy face, happy smile and cheerful laughter.

The one that can bring a  smile to the elderly when they're relaxing on their porch, drinking tea watching their grandchildren playing around.

One that always thinks about how bright the sun is, how the bird flies in the sky. One that always keeps positive thinking in his head. The one who believes in magic.

But time chew it all away, little by little. All of that sweet and cheerful kid disappear from the eyes of society, like sands on the beach. Slowly engulfed by the waves that crashing to the shore then dragging them down to the bottom of the sea. Leaving behind a cold and heartless kid that I've grown to know today. I don't blame anyone for what's happened, even though I don't want to. There's always someone to blame, right?

But that's one of the problems with memories.

It keeps coming back, even when you don't want it too. Some were good, sweet and innocent.

But some were bad, dark and undeniably mischievous. 

Nonetheless, both of them make who we are today.

Humans.

**********

"What's got into your head? You keep spacing off in class lately and also your works are getting sloppy. What's wrong?" Her voice piercing my eardrum like a piercing thunder during a lightning storm.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Hellen. I just... got a lot in mind. I promise I will do better next time." I reply politely as I bow down slightly to show my apology to Ms. Helena, one of our lecturers and also happens to be my advisor.

Swiftly, I turn my back to her to proceed with my walk to class but then she clear her throat, causing me to freeze like deer caught in the headlights.

"Ry, if you want anything. You just need to ask. Okay?" She nods with a smile plastered on her beautifully smooth face.

I just nod gently and swing the door open to reveal my escape from this treacherous room. I didn't hate her, she sometimes just too... nice. More than she supposes to at least.

Decided to skip lunch after my name was called out to meet my advisor in the first class this morning. All of the self-motivating lectures stole my appetite and forcing me to attend my next class half an hour earlier.

The sound of my footsteps echoes and resonates throughout the lecture hall. I sit down on my favorite spot in the hall which is the farthest away from the entrance. 

All the time alone in the hall got me thinking about what she said: sloppy, spacing off in class. I mean, I did my best to stay focused but how can you gaze into the present if you're looking into the past? The color of white snow, the smell of baked buns and the sound of chiming bells.

The night that she... did what she did.

If only I could turn back time and stop her from going, or stop myself from getting into that plane. Things would've changed.

Moments passed and there's a shuffling sound indicating that someone is taking a seat next to me in the lecture hall.

"Hey man. What's up?" He greets with a bright and cheerful tone.

"Hey, Alex. You're early." I look up to take a better view of this dirty blonde guy. The one that always acts like a sweet child and so innocent. But don't judge a book by its first chapter because Alex is a super smart kid. Nobody ever tops him in class and also one of the debate team for the university.