A Fallen Starr

Chapter 8: Addiction

As I walk to all of the places that you once brought me, all I see is your face. The memories that you carved into my chest, the melancholy sound that echoed through my head, again and again. 

The one that I can't forget either nor remember. I gave up hope, tears and all of the memories. Most of all, I gave up on myself.

The one that doesn't do anything when someone needs my help. The one that turns their back to the people that scream in agony.

I ran away because I don't want to see their pain, their sufferings. But, the most frightening is the fact that I don't want to feel their pain. Don't want to share their pain with me.

Because mine was already great to bear. I almost break carrying my own pain, let alone to feel someone else's hurt and agony.

Yet, it haunts me. Repeating over and over again.

That I'm a coward.

********

Elle's POV

"Well, this is where you're going to spend a few days in. Make yourself at home." I beam with the most cheerful voice I could muster to lighten up the mood.

"Thanks, Elle. you're very kind," Adam replies with a weak voice. 

Maybe it's the withdrawal.

I walk closer to the bed and sit beside him. So gently so that I wouldn't startle him. A delicate and pale-looking captain of the soccer team. Never thought that I would see him like this. I usually saw him in the field, with the crowd cheering his name as he kicked the ball right into the opponent's goal just before the whistle was blown. Earning us the victory and very loud cheering, accompanied by the thunder-crashing clap as he was lifted up by his teammates. Chanting his name.

Then, I see a strong and ambitious man. Relishing his victory in proud and grand winning of the season. The one that I knew that they work so hard to achieve.

Now, I see someone else. It's like the light in his eyes was taken away, stripped harshly from his soul. Leaving behind the very human who is lying beside me, weakened and defeated.

Back then, I didn't know Adam or Ryder. All I know that those guys are the popular guys in the team. I only watched the game because Luke forced me to or else he wouldn't give me peace for the next two months, throwing tantrum like a nine years old kid.

"It's okay. I don't want to go through the same things twice." I smile.

He only nods and smiles back in reply. Fully understand that I don't want to talk long about him. The one that gave up hope on life. The one that changed me.

"Get some rest. If you need anything, I'm only one call away." A prominent smirk spread across my face. Adam looks up at me with those tired green hues and follows my grin afterward.

"I'll be there to save the day," he sings with this exhausted but also gratifying tone while grinning widely.

"Ayyy, Charlie Puth in da house." I click my tongue as I walk towards the door. It lightens my heart to see him smile, even a sad smile but it enough to show me that he's not giving up yet. I hope that he would never do that cause if he does, I don't know what to say. 

I was defeated again? I lose the very chance of saving a human soul for the second time?

Before I could close the door behind me, a voice calls for my name.

"Elle, didn't you have classes? I don't want to trouble you or anything."

"Nah, it's fine. I'll just tell the professors that I have a meeting or something. It always works like a treat."