(c) psychosocial13
Daddy...?
Did I just hear him right?
I saw Kyler grin as he pulled me into a hug.
I couldn't hug back. I couldn't do anything. I was... frozen.
There was seething living, growing, inside of me. And I didn't even know it.
Was I ready to be a mother?
Ready to give up everything?
Spending nights with Kyler were over for a long time.
Loud music would be out.
Parties, good wholesome teenage fun was going to be out.
Being me was going to be out.
I've never had to care for someone else other than myself.
I've only been around my three babies my entire life. I didn't hold them, or feed them or change them or anything.
They were just... there.
Was I going to be a horrible mother?
After all the pain the baby has already caused, was I going to survive the pregnancy at all?
What would happen if we both died? Would X and Allie still live with Kyler? Or would they move out with Alex and Kody?
If I didn't survive I wouldn't get to see X get married. Or Allie. Or even myself...
What would Kyler do if I died?
Would he try to kill himself? Or spiral down into an eternal dark turmoil?
All these thoughts occurred to me in less than five second.
I regained my mind and managed to hug Kyler back and show any emotion other than sadness and shock and worry.
Once we were home, I changed into cozy sleep pants and a tank top.
I laid in bed and hugged a pillow, waiting for Kyler to get out of the shower.
My body felt drained.
I didn't feel warm like I usually did. Instead I felt like ice.
There was no color to my face. Perhaps from the shock?
I felt numb and hollow.
I focused on my abdomen.
The more I focused, the more I realized there was actually something there.
It didn't feel very big but I knew there was something there. I could feel it now.
And for some reason... this feeling made my stomach churn.
Most women are happy to receive news that theyre having a baby with the man they love so dear.
So.... why wasn't I?
I've always wanted at least one baby.
And now that I was going to have one, why was I angry and sad about it?
Was I ready to be a mother? Was Kyler ready to be a father?
I felt the bed shift behind me and a pair of arms wrapped around me.
Kyler hurried his face between my shoulder and neck, smiling.
He rest his hands in my small stomach which I now realized had gotten just a slight bit bigger.
I closed my eyes, hoping it would look like I was asleep so we wouldn't have to talk.
"I hope it's a boy." Kyler said as he turned me to face him.
Once he saw me, his smile dropped.
"Are you alright? You don't look good."
"I feel so drained..." I mumbled, burrying my head in his chest, finally enjoying his embrace.
"Maybe it's the baby.... He could be draining you. After all, it's more vampire than human. And since you're... kinda more human than vampire, its probably going to keep draining you. You should start drinking more blood and eat more to keep your energy up."
The thought of food and blood made my stomach hurt.
"Kyler... are you... ready for all of this?" I had to ask it. If I didn't I'd go insane.
"Well, I'm going to have to give up some stuff but I think so. Are you?"
I looked up into his eyes. They shined with happiness and love.
I swallowed hard before I answered, "Yes,"
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It's short I know... I had originally written to like chapter 30 in one of my writing journals last school year. BUT once my sister moved out I cleaned my room and lost it. So I had to pretty much bs my way through this. I'm also sick right now so....
Anyways, I'll look for my journal so I can update more. STAY TUNED!
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