Chapter 1

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Beep. Beep. Beep.
The grating noise abruptly interrupted my sleep. I groaned as I rolled and smacked the alarm clock, buying me a few more minutes of peace and quiet. I flipped over on my back so I wouldn't fall back asleep before the alarm went off again. My mind was still fighting the fog of sleep as I started going through my mental checklist for the day. Eventually get up. Get ready. Breakfast with my family. Go to school. Homework. Church. Then back to bed. Nothing major today. No tests or papers due. Okay, I can do all of that. With that thought, I slowly got up out of bed. I turned off my alarm before it released its blaring drone again. I sat there for a moment, looking around my room. It was pretty bare bones. There was an oak desk that was placed underneath the window. The desk held my bible on top. There was no cluttering of papers and school work. Everything school related was put away neatly in my desk. An oak chest of drawers was by my bed. Clothes were folded neatly inside. Nothing sat on top of the furniture. I stood up, feeling the plush blue rug beneath my feet. I made my bed, taking care to neatly tuck in the blue plaid comforter. It wasn't me who cared for all the neatness, rather it was my father who did. He performed daily inspections of my sister and I's rooms for cleanliness and looking for any contraband material. Which with my father's standards was a lot of things.
I grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and pulled them up over my green boxers. I grabbed clothes for the day and then left my room. My sister's room was next to mine. Her door was still closed. I knocked, sensing she was still asleep. I heard her groan. I came in. Her room was just as plain as mine with a similar set up. Although, there was a full length mirror on the back of her door. Yep, Gracey was still curled up in bed.
"Com'n Gracey, you need to get up," I said, shaking her. She groaned again and pushed me away. She was very much not a morning person. "You're unpleasant," I complained. She pulled up her floral quilt over her head. I pulled the quilt back down and turned on the lights.
"Liam, why do you have to be so hateful," she complained, sitting up in the bed and rubbing her eyes. Her blonde hair fell out of her braid and was a crazy mess from sleep.
"Hey, do you want me dealing with you now or Dad when he finds out you overslept?" I asked, annoyed. She huffed at me. I just rolled my eyes and left, heading to the bathroom to finish getting ready.
I wet my face, trying to rid myself of the lingering sleep feeling. I dried off my face and looked in the mirror. My wavy blonde hair was beginning to fall in my light blue eyes, signaling the need for a haircut soon. I was a little over six foot tall and fairly skinny for my height. Overall, I was considered attractive by the girls in my grade. Some girls had expressed interest in dating.  I always made excuses about my dad being strict on dating but in reality I had no interest in any of them. I quickly finished up getting ready and headed down stairs. There was a faint smell of bacon that grew stronger the closer I got to the kitchen.
Mom was the only downstairs in the kitchen. She was quietly bustling around the kitchen, getting breakfast ready. She was wearing a long dark blue dress and had her long blonde hair in a braid that went down to her waist. She turned around when she heard me come in.
"Good morning, Liam," my mom said, smiling. Her smile was so warm. She was the warmer one out of my parents. Not that my dad was mean. He was just very strict but he did having a loving side. It just made rare appearances.
"Good morning, Ma," I said. "Can I help you with anything?"
"No, sweetie, just relax before school," she said, warmly. I peered over her shoulder and saw that there was cooked bacon on a plate. I quickly swiped a piece of bacon when my mom wasn't looking.
"I saw that," she teased as the bacon made a loud crunch in my mouth. She shooed me away. I went to the fridge and poured myself a glass of milk. My sister came in. Her crazy hair was now contained in a braid. She was wearing a green t-shirt with a knee length denim skirt.
"Hey, grumpy," I said, taking a sip of milk.
"Shut up," Grace retorted.
"Be nice you two," Mom said, bringing food over to the table.
"Yes ma'am," we both said in unison.
"Grace, honey go get your father out of the study and tell him breakfast is ready," Mom said, setting up the table. Grace went to grab Dad. I felt myself straighten up in my chair and I tried to brush the hair out of my eyes. A minute or two later, Grace and Dad came into the kitchen. Dad was already in a suit and tie. He had a bible in his hand. He was in late forties but with the stern expression he held on his face he looked much older. He was the preacher at our Baptist church. Our entire lives revolved around him and our church.
"Good morning dear," he said, kindly, kissing Mom on the cheek. She blushed. "Good morning kids,"
"Good morning, Dad," Gracey and I both said. Dad sat down and clapped his hands together.
"Liam, lead morning prayer,". My gut twisted. I hated leading prayer ever since I was little. I was always nervous to mess it up.
"Yes, sir," I said, clearing my throat.
" Father, We have gathered to share a meal in Your honor. Thank You for putting us together as family, and thank You for this food. Bless it to our bodies, Lord. We thank you for all of the gifts you've given to those around this table. Help each member of our family use these gifts to your glory. Guide our mealtime conversations and steer our hearts to Your purpose for our lives. In Jesus' Name, Amen"
Everyone else said "Amen". I felt a wave of relief wash over me once it was over. Dad got his food first and then the rest of us. Dad and Mom talked about the church activities for the week while Gracey and I ate in silence. I felt my hair start to fall back in my eyes. I quickly pushed back away but not before my dad saw.
"Boy, I'm going to cut your hair tonight," Dad said, "you're starting to look like a girl,"
"Yes, sir," I said, trying to not sound as disheartened as I felt. I hated how I looked when he cut my hair.
That was the only conversation that was directed towards me during breakfast. After about a half hour, Gracey and I were on our way to school. We had about a quarter of a mile walk to the end of our drive and to where the bus picked us up. This was one of the favorite parts of my day. It was always so peaceful out here. We lived on fifty acres of land that had been in our family for generations. As you walked down the gravel driveway, all you could see were golden fields for miles with the occasional tree. There were no expectations out here, just wide open space. After a few minutes, we reached our destination. Gracey and I didn't always talk. We were both comfortable sharing silence together. As infuriating as she could be, I did usually take comfort in her company. This morning she decided to interrupt our silence.
"I don't think you look like a girl," she said, plainly. I was taken aback by her bluntness.
"Thanks," I said, slowly, not sure where she was going with this conversation.
"I'm just saying maybe you should tell Dad that you like your hair longer and stand up for yourself,"
Where was this coming from? She was more timid than I was when it came to following our father's direction. There was no intentionally stepping out of line. We both learned very quickly where that would get us. He was a big believer in "spare the rod, spoil the child". So why was she now all of a sudden wanting me to rebel? Before I had a chance to ask, the bus came rolling up to us. The doors opened up and I saw the familiar old smile of Mr. Reynolds.
"Good morning kiddos," he said.
"Good morning Mr. Reynolds," Gracey said, warmly. Then she looked back at me and said, "it's something to think about, Liam," then she climbed on the bus. I followed after her, nodding at Mr. Reynolds. Gracey sat with some friends from her class. I walked past, sitting in the back of the bus. After about twenty minutes, Daniel got on the bus. He was of the only other juniors that still rode the bus. He was a little bit shorter than me but stocky. He had short, dark hair that was usually hidden beneath a baseball cap. I smirked when I saw him carrying his oversized baseball bag. He was the third baseman for our baseball team.
"Hey, man," Daniel said, heaving his bag on an empty seat as the bus lurched forward.
"Hey," I said as he sat down next to me.  He immediately started talking about baseball game from last night. Baseball was about the only sport I enjoyed which is why I could handle having a twenty minute conversation about it. Any other sport and I would have been desperately searching for an out in the conversation. We got off the bus together.
"Hey so Sarah's friend, Ally wants us all to hang out this weekend at the drive in, you in?" Daniel asked, switching the conversation abruptly.
"Neither of us have a car. And who is Ally?" I asked, searching for a reason to say no.
"Sarah has a car. And Ally's that super cute blonde girl on the volleyball team," Daniel explained. I gave him a hard look.
"Are you two trying to set us up?" I asked, suspiciously.
"No," Daniel said, quickly. I stared at him. "Okay, Sarah is. She wants you to be happy and she wants her friend to be happy," Daniel said. Words couldn't explain how much I did not want to go on a double date. Or any date for that matter.
"You know my father wouldn't let me go on a date with a girl at the drive in," I said.
"So lie. Be rebellious. Live a little,"
"If I want to live, I shouldn't lie," I joked even though it painstakingly true.
"How would he find out?" By this time, we were in the school.
"He has spies everywhere in this town and anyways,I think he has a direct connection to God," Daniel laughed.
"You have a point. I'll have Sarah brainstorm another idea," Daniel said. I breathed out a sigh of relief. It got me out of it for now.
"Hey, I'm going to meet up with Sarah before our first class. I'll see ya in a bit," Daniel said, already heading towards Sarah.
"Yeah, see ya," I said, weakly. For a moment, I felt like I couldn't breathe under the weight of what I've been holding in. The real reason for my unwavering obedience to my dad. The real reason I had no desire to go on a date with Ally or any other girl. I couldn't bear to think it so I shoved it down to the deepest depths of myself and continued on with my day.

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