Preacher's Son (boyxboy)

Chapter 10

"You should stay the night," Sebastian whispered, kissing my neck.
"I think my parents will notice me missing in the morning," I said, slightly pouting. There was nothing else I wanted to do than sleep next to Sebastian.
"I'll set my alarm for four and I'll have you home by four thirty," he said.
"You have this all planned out," I said, snuggling closer to him. I felt him mess with the phone and set it down on the nightstand. He turned off the lamp. I laid my head on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. His fingers ran through my hair. My eyes were growing heavier by the second.
"Te amo, Liam," Sebastian whispered.
"Te amo, Bash," I whispered back. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
It only felt like a few minutes had passed before Sebastian's alarm sounded. I heard him groan and pull me closer to him. I kissed and nibbles on his ear. He moaned. How nice would this be to wake up to every day?
"Come on, let's get up babe," I said, disheartened. I didn't want to leave but I didn't want my father to catch me more.
"I just want to hold you all day...and have sex," Sebastian mumbled. I laughed.
"One day, we'll get to do this all of the time," I said, smiling at the idea.
"Oooh, I like the sound of that," Sebastian said. We peeled ourselves off of each other and slowly got up. Sebastian put his shirt back on and we headed to his truck. The whole world was so quiet as we drove back to my house. All too soon we were at my house.
"Get some sleep my love," Sebastian said, kissing my forehead.
"I'm going to miss you," I said, pouting.
"I'm going to miss you too baby," Sebastian said.
"Can we see each other tomorrow night?" I asked. Sebastian smiled.
"Of course," Sebastian said. I kissed him deeply before opening up the door.
"Te amo" I said, reluctantly. I wasn't ready to leave and return to my personal Hell.
"Te amo," Sebastian said. "I'll see you tomorrow night,". Knowing I would see him soon made it easier to get out of the truck and head back home.
I slept most of the day. I usually was up by eight even after nights out with Sebastian because I had odd jobs I did for people in our congregation but today I didn't. Dad went to Kansas City to meet with another pastor so he wasn't here monitoring my every move. I told Gracey I was out late when she came in and asked why I was still in bed at noon. But honestly I didn't feel like I could face my family. I was deeply ashamed of how far I had strayed from their vision for me. My mind would linger on my nights with Sebastian. I didn't feel guilt or shame for my feelings when I was with him. I was myself. I didn't worry about anything when I was with him.
I loved him and he loved me. That was something I never thought I would experience in my life time. I thought I would end up with an Ally and fake my feelings for the rest of my life. But now that I knew what love felt like, I couldn't pretend anymore. I didn't want to keep up the charade with Ally. Not that I was doing a great job at it. I didn't even know that she was out of town. Maybe after all this time, she will have lost feelings for me. What if she didn't and wanted to continue dating? How could I do that to Sebastian? It would kill me to see him with another person even if it were just for show. What about her? If she really did care for me, it would be terrible if she ever found out that I was lying. All of these thoughts made me feel sick. I just wanted to sleep until it was time to see Sebastian again.
But I couldn't. Tomorrow was my sermon and I had absolutely nothing written. Every time I tried to, all I could think about was Dad saying all gays go to Hell and that they were abomination in the eyes of God. How could I preach about God when according to how I was raised, I strayed so far away? I prayed not to be gay. I prayed to want Ally or some other woman like I was supposed to. I prayed to be normal. But my prayers were ignored. I didn't understand. I went to church almost every day. I prayed multiple times a day. I felt like I generally did the right thing.
Why would God make me gay if it was such a terrible thing? Wasn't it important to just be a good person? I didn't lie or cheat others. Being with Sebastian didn't cause anyone else any harm. It didn't make sense. Other sins resulted in harm of another person. And how did love with another consenting person equal a sin? Isn't that what God was all about? Love.
I could talk about that. I didn't want to preach about sins and guilt and shame. I had that shoved down my throat my whole life. I didn't need to regurgitate the hate my father spewed.
So that's what I did. I wrote a sermon about love and acceptance, what it really means to be a good Christian. I was nervous what my father would think of it. He had been surprisingly hands off during this entire process. He gave me ideas and none of them were what I had planned. We would see tomorrow morning how he felt.
Before I went to bed, I checked my phone. I had a text from Sebastian.
Hey love. I know you aren't looking forward to tomorrow morning but you'll do great. I wish I could see it. Sweet dreams. Te amo.
I found myself smiling like an idiot.
I send you what I wrote. It isn't what Dqd preaches but it's the only thing that feels right. Te amo.
I sent him pictures of my pages of notes. About fifteen minutes later, Sebastian sent me a text.
That sounds amazing. I'm so proud of you.
Thanks love, I replied.
I hadn't ever believed it when someone told me they were proud of me until now. It felt really good.