after you left |ai|

23

"Alright, I got us two beers and told everyone to leave us alone." Ben said before he climbed back out of my old bedroom window and sat down next to me on the roof before handing me the cold beer with a smile on his face. "You looked happier today and still you decided to try and get away from us."

"I just needed some time to process everything." I replied with a small smile before taking a sip of my beer. Before we all moved out, this was our spot on the roof. They would come through the window of my room and we would all sit out here, discussing our days at school and the most random things. When they had all moved out, I would come out here on my own and I'd call Ben, put my phone on speaker and lay it down beside me while we talked about our days for hours.

"What's going on in that pretty mind of yours now?" He asked and I looked at him with a smile before taking a sip of my beer again.

"Tomorrow is the first day of school again and it was our tradition to always go for lunch at the cafe next to the school and at the end of the day, he would make me my favourite dinner."

"You're missing him again." He said but I shook my head while looking at him, he looked back at me and raised his eyebrow.

"I don't and that's the thing. I'm not missing him and I'm actually happy most of the time now." I explained and he smiled widely. "Now that Amber is living with me, I have barely even thought of him. I don't even care that he's not going to be there tomorrow."

"You're finally allowing yourself to move on" he noted and I nodded with a smile. "How's everything going with that guy you told me about?"

"He's alright" I said with a shrug but he wasn't satisfied with my reply at all.

"Just alright?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Whenever we see each other, we mostly talk about our pain and problems. He's the opposite of Thomas which I like but I'm not into him if that's what you're after."

"The last time I saw you, I really thought you were."

"I like him but I'm too afraid I would become his rebound or he would be mine. I would set myself up for heartbreak either way." I told him and he seemed to understand that. He knew Ashton was Ashton Irwin long before I did. He told me how his girlfriend fangirled a little the first time she saw him at the shop years back so he knew who he was from the first time I mentioned him. He was a fan of Sam's, his girlfriend's, music so he knew about all of that too when I had no clue. But I had never noticed him before.

"You're going to find a way, you always do Elle." He said with a chuckle before putting his arm around my shoulder. "When you and idiot got together, you were still young and naive. Everything was easy and all you had to do was tell him you liked him. Adulting is more difficult and you made it ten times more difficult by finding someone else that's a little messed up. Just give it time and give your own mind time to fully heal."

"I know, I'm just not sure if I can do this again." I replied as I let out a deep breath

"Your trust got damaged badly by him and he messed up your whole image of love. But that doesn't mean that there isn't something real out there for you, there's someone out there who will love you endlessly and will never damage your trust." He explained and I nodded slowly while listening to him. "You have to believe that there's still something good out there for everyone. Ask Alec, he has been through some shitty relationships too but he still found Courtney. There's someone out there for all of us, just don't give up yet."

"There's a reason why you're my favourite brother." I replied and he laughed before he looked at me all serious.

"Elle, you are a wonderfull, strong woman with a heart of gold. Don't ever forget that please." He whispered and I looked at him with a smile

"I'll try my best but I'm sure you'll remind me again once I forget." I replied and we both laughed softly before a silence fell over us. "Thank you for everything Ben and I mean that, I might joke about it at times but you've always been there for me since the very first day I was on this planet. Thank you." He hugged me as tight as he could before looking at me

"You're my little sister and I will always protect you."

—

Ellehasinstagram: trust is like a mirror, once broken you never look at it in the same way again.

1.078 likes
BenMiller: two pretty faces
ChrisMiller: look at our lil sister starting to use fancy quotes
AlecMiller: @benmiller @chrismiller how tf do you guys get here so fast
ChrisMiller: @alecmiller don't you have your post notifications on for us?
5SOSGlobal: I love the relationship between you and your brothers
AshtonGlobal: you're so pretty omg 😍
AshtonIrwin: ♥️

— twitter —

UpdatesofAshtonIrwin: Ashton commented a heart under Ellehasinstagram's recent post

5SOSGlobal: I just want to know what's going on between Ashton and Elle. Is that too much to ask?

AshtonGlobal: @5SOSGlobal their privacy should be respected more.

Apparentlya5sosfan: @ashtonglobal we have a right to know. Elle is a fucking bitch and we should know if she's near our man.

JackieEvans: so sick and tired of social media

JackieEvans: I've said this a million times before but keep your rumours to yourself when you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

———————PLEASE READ———————

Lately writing became more of a task than something I love to do. I dislike everything I've written the past three chapters and that's why the next update might take a little longer. So my apologies for this shitty and short chapter...

I used to be so happy and excited for this story but now I have to force myself just to write 990 words for a chapter.

With Anxiety, I often wrote over 6000 words a day because I was so excited for it and happy with it and I never put up a chapter I didn't like.

The last thing I want is for writing to feel like a task when it was my favourite thing to do just a few weeks back. So I'm just going to take some time to see and I'll write when I feel like it.