after you left |ai|

13

Once I heard the knock on the door, I looked at the time a little shocked. I came home much later from work than planned so I tried my best to get the food done in time but while doing so, I forgot that I still had to shower and change.

I walked over to the door and looked to see Ashton waiting there with his kid in his arms. I opened the door and he smiled when seeing me but that soon changed in a confused look when seeing my outfit. "I was home late from work and still need to shower but come in and make yourself feel at home. You know where I hide the alcohol." I said rushed and he chuckled softly before walking in. "If Jackie arrives, just let her in too. I'll be fresh and clean in like 10 minutes."

"It's okay, Jackie is always late so take your time." He replied with a smile and I nodded before running to my bedroom and taking out a pair of jeans and a clean shirt before hopping in the shower.

I was very good in getting ready fast and it was a big advantage in the morning. I can always sleep a little longer and still be ready in time.

When I no longer felt dirty because of kid's vomit and spit -it was an eventfull day-, I hopped out of the shower and got myself ready as quick as I could. I could hear someone changing the music frequently and got just a little annoyed when my favourite song got skipped.

I put my hair in a high ponytail before going back to the living room and I could see Ashton scrolling through my playlist with his kid still in his arms, so I stopped in the doorframe and watched with a small smile. "You're not going to find your own music if that's what you're looking for." I said with a smile while I leaned against the doorframe

"You weren't kidding when all you listen to is clasical music."

"Unlike some other people, I was honest since the start." I replied and he chuckled softly. "You can change it to something else if you prefer, I don't mind." I walked back to the kitchen and took out a bag of chips and a bottle of wine. I put it down on the tv table and he sat down on the couch.

"So how old are your niece and nephew? They looked really small."

"My niece has only just turned 2 and my nephew is 4." I replied before I heard my phone buzz. I picked it up from the table and let out a sigh when I read the text.

jackie: can't make it tonight, I'm sorry x

"Why does this feel just like the time she set us up to finally talk at the shop?" I asked him while showing the text and he chuckled softly before looking down at his kid.

"I think that's exactly what she's doing." He said softly while he kept his eyes on her. She had such bright blue eyes and an adorable giggle.

"I have one of those foldable baby beds in the spare bedroom, so you can put her in there once she gets tired." I replied with a smile while reached out for her and she looked at me amused straight away.

"She has been a pain in the ass to get to sleep recently so she can just stay up as long as she wants tonight." He said with a chuckle and I looked up at him while she held onto my bracelet.

"I can try putting her to bed if you want? My brother's kids went through that phase too around her age."

"You can try but she's not easy." He said with a smile and I got my hand away from her before getting up.

"I'll put up the bed and if she wants to sleep, we can eat once she's down." I said and he looked at me as if I was an idiot for wanting to try it. I put up the bed and when I came back, he handed me her before following me to the spare bedroom. He waited in the doorframe and leaned against it while watching me with her.

I started telling her a story I made up but my voice soft and calming as she wouldn't understand me anyway. And I talked to her for about 15 minutes until her eyes started to close and she started to slowly drift into a peacefull sleep.

I carefully stood up with her and put her down in the bed, trying not to make a sound while doing so. When I walked towards Ashton, he was watching me surprised but he looked so thankfull too. "How?" He asked as soon as the door was closed.

"I just tell boring ass stories." I said and he laughed softly while looking at me. For the first time, I hadn't seen his darkness yet. His eyes were bright and happy. But I know mine were the opposite. Even though I was happy he was here and I was able to smile and laugh, the darkness never faded and felt stronger than it used to be.

—

"So what's your story?" He asked me before bringing the glass of wine to his lips and taking another sip. We weren't drunk this time.

"What do you want to know?"

"What made you you?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders softly, unsure how to even answer that. "All I know about you is what messed you up and the few basic things I asked the first day we talked. Tell me something good." He said and he still looked as happy and bright as he did when walking in.

"I lived in San Fransisco until I was 6 before my family moved here because my dad got a better job offer. He is a manager at a telecommunication office and I don't understand half of what he does. My mom opened the shop about 6 months after moving here. She ran a coffee shop in San Fransisco too so she just looked for a new place here." I said and he was listening so carefully. "I had a lot of friends all through elementary school and high school. I met Thomas when we were 10 and he was my best friend. We started dating at 17 and honestly I loved life. I was always a happy kid but I had a strong hate for studying. I was prom queen ofcourse." I said and he laughed softly. "At 18 I started college to become a teacher and at 22 I started working at the school I still work at. I had a very happy and joyfull life honestly. I still have all my grandparents and go see them every other month, I see my brothers atleast once or twice a month and my sister and parents almost every day. Except for him, I had a great life so far." I said and he nodded softly. "So what's your story?"

"My dad walked out on my mom when I was still very young. it was just my mom and I for a very long time, then she met my first stepdad with who she had two kids. So my sister is 7 years younger than me, my brother 10. I joined the band when I was 17 and unlike the rest of the band, I did get my high school degree. In 2013 we left home and started touring around first as an opening act and then on our own. So I haven't been home much since. We lived in London for a while before all moving to LA as this is where the biggest record labels are and it's the best place to make music. I met Sam in 2018 at one of our shows, she was a fan and I just fell in love with her at first sight. The next 1,5 year, we spend traveling between London and LA to be together before she finally moved here in the summer. She brought so much brightness in my life and I had never loved someone so much before. And then the next summer I lost her. She slipped away right infront of me and I couldn't do anything to help her. I still blame myself for that so often. If she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, she'd still be here and I would still be able to love her. It was unfair and too soon. We filed a lawsuit against the doctor that made a mistake and won with ease but it didn't give me any peace at all. It didn't bring her back or lessen the pain. Jackie came here as often as she could and my sister would come when Jackie had to go back home due to her visum. Olivia is all we have left of her and that's what made her decide to move here." He explained before we both grew silent again. He was finally starting to tell me more about the two of them. About the woman he once loved so much.

But while his eyes usually get taken over by sadness when talking about her, they didn't this time.