after you left |ai|

37

Ashton: are you alright?
Elle: its my anual 'be a mess' day, I'll be alright tomorrow
Ashton: are you at work? I could meet you for lunch
Elle: I'm home with Amber, we are watching some movies
Ashton: do you want me to come over? I could bring ice cream and beer
Elle: any chance you have the original Lion King on dvd? No beers, I want to be sober for this
Ashton: I have every possible disney film, I can be there in 20
Elle: okay, thank you ♥️

—

Exactly 20 minutes later the bell rang. I lifted the blanket off me and went over to the door without saying anything to Amber. Her usual very talkative self was gone.

"Welcome to the anual "all the Millers are a mess" day." I said to Ashton softly when I pulled the door open. I've been holding on for Amber but I just wanted to cry. He put the bag on the table beside him and placed Olivia on the ground before wrapping his arms strongly around me and I could feel Olivia hold my leg. I hugged him back and I tried so hard not to break down.

"You're allowed to cry today Elle. It's okay to miss her." He whispered while he rubbed my back and I could no longer hold in the tears that were building up for so long. Amber slept with me last night because she didn't want to be alone and I laid awake, looking at the ceiling and remembering the little things. How happy and cheerfull she always was, her laugh and the jokes we played on our brothers. I held everything in because I wanted Amber to be fine, I tried not to let the bad thoughts win but they were winning.

"I'm just so scared to loose her too." I whispered to make sure Amber couldn't hear me.

"I know but she's fine Elle, try not to think of losing her when she's still here." He whispered back before kissing the top of my head. I looked up at him and he wiped away the tears on my cheeks. "I know it's not easy but allow yourself to feel the pain and sadness, it's not going to help to keep it all inside." He said softly and I nodded before placing my head on his chest again and he hugged me tightly. "Where is Amber? And the tv, did you move the tv?"

"In my bed and the tv is there too." I mumbled softly before letting go of him, "there's room for two more." He smiled softly before picking up the bag with ice cream and the dvd again. I picked up Olivia and she giggled while reached for my face to place her hands on my cheeks, I couldn't supress a smile when another giggle left her mouth and kissed her forehead softly.

"It's hard not to smile around her." Ashton noted when he walked back over to me. He was holding the dvd and stopped beside me, placed his hand on my back before kissing the side of my head softly which made Olivia giggle even more. "You're going to be alright" he whispered and I looked at him with a small smile before taking his hand in mine. I walked back to my bedroom with Ashton behind me and Amber looked at us right away.

"Hi" she said softly.

"Hey Amber" Ashton said back just as soft, Amber moved over so she was laying on the side of the bed and I got in the middle so Ashton could lay beside me. He never seemed to think twice about it and just placed his arm so I could lay against him with Olivia between us. She was pointing at the screen where Aladin was now playing and mumbled some words before letting herself fall back and laying between us.

I turned my head to look at him to find him already looking at me, "Thank you." I whispered and he smiled softly before placing a soft kiss on my lips. It was just short but felt so great.

"Anything for you." He whispered back before we both looked back at the tv. "At what time are you going to your parents?" He asked softly while the four of us were looking at the screen.

"At 1, we will first bring the flowers to Rose and then we're all going home together and eat dinner at 7." Amber replied when I didn't reply right away. "Will you come with us? I want Elle to have someone too."