Complicated (R.S.L/ R5)

Chapter 2

I sighed as my alarm went off alerting me to get my ass out of bed. Even though I didn't have school anymore, I still had an alarm as I was capable of sleeping the whole day away. Besides, I had to go out shopping with Rydel today. Even though Ross hates me, I'm still really close with his siblings.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took a quick shower, then came out and decided on what to wear. After I had chosen, I grabbed my make up bag and stood in front of the mirror. I got the concealer and start covering up all my bruises, all the bruises that Ross had given me.

Once I was ready, I went next door. The way Ross and I became friends is because we had lived next door to each other for years, ever since the two of us were 3, so it made seeing my best friends easy.

It also made it easy for Ross to come and abuse me.

I let myself in and went up to Rydel's room. Of course, with my luck, I ended up walking straight into Ross. He looked at me with disgust as he pushed me away from him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked with venom in his voice.

"I... I came to see Rydel," I said stuttering, which I regretted as soon as I did it.

I hated showing Ross I felt weak around him, because all he did was take advantage of that fact and hit me more. He scoffed at me.

"God, I can't believe those people still tolerate you. Actually, I can't believe anyone tolerates you. You're pathetic and annoying," he said rolling his eyes.

"Ok," I said quietly. "Can I go now?"

He rolled his eyes again and walked off, after pushing past me of course. I walked to Rydel's room, trying to ignore what he said. Even though I usually managed, this time it hurt more for some reason. I knocked on Rydel's door and entered, seeing her sprawled on her bed reading a magazine. She sat up when she saw me.

"Hey. What's up?" She asked.

"Nothing. Your brothers a douche. The usual."

She looked at me sympathetically.

"You guys used to be best friends. What happened?"

I gulped. I hadn't told any of the Lynch's why Ross and I didn't talk anymore, or why he hated me. I usually just said I didn't know. I guess I should tell Rydel why. I mean, it's been five years.

"Umm, so... Basically, when we were thirteen, he told me he loved me," I started, but before I continued Rydel started screaming.

"Oh my God! Really?"

"Yeah," I confirmed.

"So then what happened?"

"I didn't know how to respond. The only thing that was going through my mind was shock. I never expected him to say that. And apart from that, we were only 13. I knew my parents would never let us date anyway, even if we had been friends for 10 years before that.

So before I could say anything, he got angry. And when I tried to explain, he wouldn't listen. He just told me to forget everything, including our friendship," I explained.

She looked at me in shock.

"But didn't you try to explain the next day or anything?" She asked.

"I tried, but since then, he hated me. Even though I told him why, or at least tried, he would ignore me. He wanted nothing to do with me," I said.

"Wow. That must have been tough. But did you ever have feelings for him? Like, at all?" She asked softly.

I bit my lip and nodded.

"That's what made it harder. He completely hates me, but.. I, cared for him," I said, my eyes filling up with tears.

She pulled me in for a hug where I broke down. She rubbed my back and all the things I had been through for the past five years all resurfaced.

"Do you still care for him, or love him anymore?"

"It's not in me to love him anymore. He's put me through too much. I care for him, but even that's hard. I just.. I can't describe it. I care for him, but at the same time, I hate him," I said through my tears.

All the memories of him abusing me, all the times he had hit me, thrown me, beat me, they were all consuming me, making me feel helpless. Ross was right. I was pathetic. I sat up, wiping my tears away and fixing my hair.

"You ok now?" She asked.

I nodded, my breathing slowly becoming more even. I stood up and went to the mirror, making sure I looked alright. I started to feel hungry. I realised that I hadn't had any breakfast in the morning, making me feel hollow.

"Rydel, is it alright if I go and get something to eat? We can leave after that," I asked.

She nodded.

"Sure. I'll get ready while you eat."

I left her room and went to their kitchen, where there was no one. I got out some cereal and milk, and poured them in a bowl. I hunted around for a spoon until I finally found one. Just as I was about to eat, I heard a voice from behind me.

"Should you really be eating that much? You're fat enough as it is."

I whirled around to see Ross standing behind me, his arms folded across his chest, a smirk on his face.

"Sorry?" I asked, my voice low, not wanting to annoy him or make him angrier than necessary.

"I said, should you really be eating. I mean, have you seen yourself? You're already so fat," he said, rolling his eyes.

I looked at him, before putting the bowl down and walking past him, not making any eye contact with him. As I walked past, he stuck his foot out, making me trip and fall on the ground. Before I could get up, he bent down to my level.

"I would hit you, but since you're going out, it might make it a bit obvious, and we can't have people noticing can we?" He asked, a fake smile on his face.

I didn't say anything, but I kept looking down at the ground.

"I said, can we?" He said harshly.

I shook my head quickly, not wanting him to change his mind and hit me.

"Good girl. Now go out and have some fun, because I promise you, every other day of your life will be living hell as long I'm here, ok?"

I looked up at the face of my torturer, the person who put me through so much pain everyday, and I wondered, if I hadn't rejected him all those years ago, would things be different?

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