Complicated (R.S.L/ R5)

Chapter 19

"I want him back," I whispered.

"As your friend?"

"Maybe. I don't mind. Or something more."

She looked at me.

"Lyssa, is that the best idea? He hurts you so much anyway, if you start dating him, who knows what he'll do to you? I don't want you stuck in an abusive relationship," she said, concerned.

I laughed bitterly.

"I'm basically in one anyway. He treats me like shit, beats me most of the time, and toys with my emotions to hurt me. What else qualifies to be classified as an abusive relationship? Apart from him occasionally saying he loves me, we're basically there."

"Exactly. So why on earth do you want to take a chance and date him after all this? How can you even stand to look at him without feeling utter disgust and hatred? I hate him, and I only came back yesterday."

I sighed, looking down at my hands.

"It's not like that. I don't know, I just... I guess I'm just hoping that the person who was my best friend is still there somewhere, and that deep inside he still cares about me, so much that he wouldn't be able to hurt me if he would date me."

"I'm sorry to say this, but you're crazy. How can you even think about being involved with him romantically after this? It's been five years Alyssa. He's been hurting you for five whole years."

"... I guess so."

"Get away from them."

"What?"

"Move back with me. Come back to Canada."

"I can't just move country when I feel like it!" I protested.

"Why not? Your parents are never here anyway. When they come back, you can come and visit them. You've finished school anyway, you just need to get a job, or go to university. You can do that in Canada."

I stayed silent for a moment.

"I'll think about it."

We stayed in silence, having had a lot to think about.

"Have you even been around to see the rest of their family?" I asked Jess randomly.

"Not really. Riker picked me up from the airport, but that's about it. I came here to spend time with you."

I smiled at her.

"That's all good, but we should go around. Rydel probably wants to see you," I said.

"Fine," she said, sighing. "But I'm warning you, if I see Ross, I will beat his ass. I'm not even joking."

I shook my head, laughing.

"I know you aren't."

...

We ended up at their house, lounging around after all the introductions had been made. Ross hadn't left his room since we arrived, which suited us fine. All of us were watching TV, arguing in a friendly way, as if we were a family. Rocky started prodding me since I was laying on top of him.

"Go talk to him."

"Are you crazy?"

Prod.

"Go talk to him."

"I'm not going to get killed today."

Prod.

"Go. He hasn't left his room since."

Prod.

"Jesus Christ you're annoying," I huffed, standing up.

"Lyss, is that the best idea? He could hurt you again," Jess said.

I shrugged at her.

"What have I got to lose, hey?"

"Crazy bitch."

"Learned from the best," I said, winking, before walking out.

I went and knocked on his door, waiting for him to open it.

"Go away," he called.

"You can say it, but it's not going to happen," I replied, walking inside.

He was sitting on his bed, a guitar in his hands, and a book and pen lying next to him.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Hopefully not writing down ways of how to hurt me

But why would he need a guitar for that?

Shut up! You don't know with him!

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts.

"Why do you care? Get out," was his blunt response.

I went and sat down on the bed, but not next to him; keeping distance between us was probably a good idea.

"Why are you here?" he asked me.

"To be honest, I don't really know. I think I'm on a high from getting my best friend back."

He looked at me curiously.

"You do know I still hate you, right..?"

"Not you. Jess."

"She's back?"

"Obviously. I wouldn't just say that she's back if she wasn't."

His hand shifted and I shuffled a bit further away from him, out of hitting distance.

"Why did you move?"

"Your hand moved. I wasn't going to be on the receiving end of it."

He moved his hands and placed them firmly in his lap.

"Is this better?" he snapped.

I was shocked at his outburst but I didn't comment.

"Why do you continuously come here and try to talk to me? Why can you never just leave me alone, like the rest of my family? Why is it, no matter what I do, you never give up?"

"Because I'm not the same as your family. The connection they have with you, is different to the one I have with you."

"We don't have a fucking connection! You're someone I used to be friends with, until you ripped my fucking heart out and ruined it, and turned any love I had for you into hatred! I hate you with all my heart, there is nothing else there for you! So do me a favour and leave me alone!"

"You know, I was contemplating this, but you've made my decision so much easier. Jess was asking me to move to Canada with her, but I was hesitating, because of all of you. Now I'm wondering why I even considered you in my decision."

"Why do you think I would care? Go, don't worry, I won't miss you."

"I didn't worry. I knew you never would."

Texts and sarcastic comments are what lead to this. Thank you babyshoreo_ 😘

Casual self promotion- go check out my new book Payphone if you haven't already.

QOTD- How and when did you discover R5?

AOTD- Summer of 2013, when they came to Toronto for the Big Ticket Summer Concert.

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