Complicated (R.S.L/ R5)

Chapter 15

"You want us to date properly, after I just heard you say you're using me for sex?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah. If you don't trust that I love you, let me prove to you that I do," he said casually.

"You can't do that! You can't just suddenly switch, say that you're going to date me out of the blue!" I screamed.

He looked at me, bored.

"If you're done having a fit, can you make up your mind? Do you want us to break up or not?"

My mind was reeling from what he just said. I didn't say anything for a few minutes, in this time, he waited there, waiting for a response from me. I didn't know what to think, whether he was being sincere or not. He saw the hesitation in my eyes and spoke up.

"Just trust me," he said softly. "I'll show you, prove to you, that I love you," he said.

I looked at him, and I saw such vulnerability in his eyes that I melted. I stepped closer to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Don't break my trust, Ross," I whispered.

...

We ended up laying in a bed together, not talking, just holding each other.

"Why did you say that if you didn't mean it?" I asked, out of the blue.

He sighed and looked down at me.

"I was trying to impress them. I wanted them to think I was cool, so I said that. I didn't realise you would hear," he told me honestly.

"But those were our private moments, not something you could share with your friends," I said, frowning. 

"I know baby. I'm sorry," he said.

I sighed and looked at him.

"It's ok. Just don't tell them anything else we do, ok?"

He nodded, and leaned in and gently kissed me, sending shockwaves down my spine. He was so close to me, and he felt so warm, it was reassuring to have someone to hold onto. He pulled away and looked at me, watched me take in all of him. I pressed myself to him again, wanting to feel him next to me.

It was still surreal for me, I didn't understand how this happened. I felt I was still 12, as that's as far back my memory would reach, and that Ross was my best friend, but instead here we were kissing, as a proper couple. I have no clue what our relationship had been like for the past 6 years, but it didn't matter, because now we were fine together, everything else was irrelevant.

"Why does it feel like this shouldn't be right, but it is?" I whispered.

"Because we shouldn't be this perfect together, but we are," he said, smiling.

I smiled back at him, loving how easily he could lift my mood.

"So are we official now?" I asked.

He nodded at me.

"We are most definitely official. There is no way I want to lose you," he said.

I sighed again, feeling depressed.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just want my memory back. I'm fed up of not remembering anything," I said.

"I get why you want it back, but why does it matter? Whatever happened in the past, it's there. Now it's just you and me, together."

“But I want to remember us. You were so upset that I couldn’t remember anything between us. I want to fix that. I want to be able to remember how you asked me out, how we spent time together, and how we loved each other. That’s it. I want my memory back.”

Goddamn, I'm writing on the computer bc I'm grounded from my iPad and it's so hard! How do people write on this??

I was listening to Can I Have This Dance from HSM3 while listening to this and it's put me in a romantic mood, hence this chapter.

So speaking of which,

QOTD: Favourite HSM film?

AOTD: Definitely the second one. I've seen it about a million times.

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