Nash's life is one you could call comfortable.
His father had provided everything his family needed, no questions asked. But then again, if you did ask questions, you wouldn't end up being so comfortable.
Let me re-phrase that; If you played by the rules, asked no questions and didn't complain, your life was comfortable.
Nash felt like he was living in a prison. His fathers constant lectures, his opinions and ideologies ruled Nash's life. Nash wasn't aloud to listen to music, other then that of the gospel. Nash also wasn't aloud to read books that haven't been approved by his father and Nash's internet was monitored twenty four seven. The only sliver of freedom he has was his cellphone.
Not that this was much use to Nash anyway. He'd text his friends now and then but it didn't really make him feel like any less of a prisoner.
To say Nash had friends was an understatement. You could consider Nash popular, very popular. Even though he had just started high-school, his good looks, charms and semi good values earned him a place in the popular group. Although there wasn't really a 'popular table', Nash still sat with the people who were considered relatively popular.
Everyone knew who Nash was, even a few seniors. Which was pretty impressive considering the segregation of Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors.
Nash's popularity and the fact that even a few seniors knew who he was, added to his confusion as to why Cameron hadn't noticed him at school before.
Nash had however noticed Cameron before. Nash had noticed Cameron sitting behind the bleachers during lunch of physical education. He noticed Cameron, he noticed him more than he should.
And of course, Nash noticed Cameron at church. Boy, did he notice Cameron at church. Cameron would stare at Nash during church. Nash noticed, Nash always noticed. And oddly enough, Nash liked it.
Nash's sexuality was something Nash avoided thinking about, as if it were the Black Plague. He knew though, he knew what he was. He knew ever since he could remember. To put it lightly, there was never a time Nash didn't know.
If Nash ever had to be himself, his father would hate him, more than hate him. Shun him, kick him out of the family. That thought kept Nash up at night. He kept wondering if maybe it would be worth it. He'd be able to be himself.
And then there was Cameron. Nash found Cameron so... intriguing. He always wondered why Cameron would always stare at him. Even though he knew the answer. The thing he actually wondered about was why he liked that answer. He liked that answer very much.
He took the opportunity at church, to turn around and face Cameron for the first time. Although, in his nervous state, all he could do was smile. But he liked that. Because if he smiled, so did Cameron, and he loved Cameron's smile.
So you can imagine Nash's surprise when Cameron and his mother approached himself and his sibling. Nash took this opportunity to introduce himself to Cameron. Although Nash would never admit this, but he was slightly hurt that Cameron was unaware they went to the same school. He was almost certain that Cameron must've seen him.
On Monday, Nash decided to sit next to Cameron. Although it was a long shot because Nash knew Cameron was hardly ever in the cafeteria. But he was pleasantly surprised when he found him there.
They spoke briefly and all Nash was focused on was how beautiful Cameron really was. He felt that he was going to hell just for thinking that.
He asked Cameron for his number. And Cameron said yes. This made Nash happy, it made Nash very happy.
Especially when they started texting and Nash suggested they hang out everyday. And Cameron had said yes.
Nash looked at the text he just received from Cameron. He was happy. They were friends, well they were on their way to being friends.
There was a knock on Nash's door and Nash's little brother Hayes walked in.
"Hey Nash," Hayes said while sitting next to him on his bed.
Nash's room was gigantic. The walls were white and nothing hung on it, except for a gold cross that his father had gotten him for Christmas.
Nash's bed was also gigantic. White sheets, white everything.
"How can I help you little brother?" Nash asked. Hayes smiled lightly. "So, Aaron's coming over tonight." Hayes said with a smirk.
Hayes had been in an ongoing relationship with Aaron Carpenter for the last year. It made Nash uncomfortable, but don't for reasons you'd think. Aaron was older than Hayes, by a lot. Nash didn't want Aaron taking advantage of Hayes.
Nash however admired his brothers ways of evading their father. Their father had no clue whatsoever.
Nash was jealous of Hayes and Aaron's relationship. Nash wanted something similar. Nash wanted to feel loved. He knew that, of course he could get a girlfriend if he wanted, but he didn't want a girlfriend.
"You guys are cute." Nash said. Hayes nodded while his face turned bright red.
"I saw the way you looked at Cameron, Nash." Hayes said softly. Hayes had been suspicious of Nash's supposed heterosexuality.
Nash didn't say anything. "I also see the way he looks at you." Hayes continued. Nash couldn't help the red emerge on his face. Hayes let out a soft chuckle. "It's okay Nash, you can talk to me. It's me. I'm your brother Nash. I'm not dad and you know that." he said.
Nash thought about what Hayes had just said. It was true, he could speak to Hayes. But he didn't want to so he kept quiet. "I'm here if you want to talk okay." Hayes said while getting up to leave.
Nash nodded his head absently.
Nash often wished he were normal. That he could just date a girl and live a normal life. But he knew he couldn't. I mean, he could but it would just never feel right.
