Hoseok's Bride

Chapter 39

~Jiyeon~

Hoseok put me down and shut the door behind him. I tried to move away from him but he twisted me around and backed me against the door, pressing up against me.

I opened my mouth to yell at him when Hoseok suddenly buried his face in the crook of my neck, making my mind go blank.

"You stupid idiot!" he yelled, voice filled with so much emotions.

I winced, "I'm not an idiot!"

Hoseok was breathing heavily and all I did was just stand there, having a hard time breathing myself. It's been so long since we've touched each other like this. It hurts.

"Jiyeon-ah, I'm sorry," Hoseok whispered, his tone tortured. "I'm so, so, sorry."

I closed my eyes when tears blurred my vision. "Jiyeon-ah, I'm sorry," Hoseok repeated, his voice cracking. "Don't hate me. Please don't hate me."

I put my hands against his shoulders and pushed him away from me so I could make eye contact with him. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "You guys are really busy—"

"I came to take you home."

I stared. "I'm not going."

Hoseok reached out and brushed my tears away, his expression tortured and broken. "I know I don't deserve it now so I'm not going to ask you."

"Ask me what?" I whispered.

"Ask you what happened that day."

I looked at him, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. Seeing this, Hoseok continued on quietly, "I'm thinking, I no longer care what's been said and done. No matter what happened that day, I'm willing to put it behind us if that means you'll take me back."

Does he even know what he's saying here? The whole scandal put us through so much... ruining a lot of lives... Does he think we can go back to how things once were? Maybe we can put it behind us but that doesn't mean that the feelings and memories will be forgotten.

"Hoseok," I began.

He laced our fingers together and brought my hand up to his lips, brushing his lips against my knuckles. "I know I put you through a lot. I'm the reason you've been hurting and the reason behind our baby leaving us."

I felt tears welled in my eyes at the mention of the baby. Seeing this, Hoseok's face softened and he continued on, "I don't think I can forgive myself for what's happened since that scandal, Jiyeon and I don't want to as well. That's why I've decided to stay away and let you go when I found out you'd left me. I didn't chase you or call you despite wanting to be with you." He let out a soft sigh, "I figured, you'd be so much happier away from my members and myself as well as my celebrity lifestyle. I know the comments our fans left have affected you so much too."

He pressed his forehead against mine and said in a quiet voice, "But I couldn't do it anymore. I'm only human, Jiyeon and I feel emotions just like everyone else. When you told me that the baby wasn't mine, I lost it even though a part of me knew you were lying. I was afraid of losing you when the scandal broke out and I shut you and my members out, not wanting to face it head on." His eyes locked with mine, "I regret it so much now. Regardless of what's real and what's not, I should have listened to you. I was so immersed in my own fears that I ended up hurting you, myself and my members."

Hoseok's fears are something I don't think I can ever understand. I'm not a celebrity after all. I know that we all have our own fears that we can never admit or tell anyone because we fear to be judged or have others agree with us... For Hoseok, I think it's something he wants to overcome.