Cryptic (A Calum Hood Fanfiction)

Chapter #26

Calum's POV:

"Calum, can I talk to you for a minute?" Darren asks, catching me as I come out of the copy room.

"What could we possibly have to talk about?" I gripe. "And where's Annabel? Aren't you supposed to be keeping an eye on her now?"

He sighs, "That's what I want to talk to you about; I'm worried about her."

I give him a glare, "Worry about yourself, I'll worry about Annabel."

Darren rolls his eyes, "Last I checked, I am the one assigned to her case so I'd say that I have a right to worry."

I clench my fists, willing myself not to punch him upside his jaw, "What do you want, Darren? Did you come to brag? To rub it in my face? I know Mr. Dannings approached you about the situation and I know you threw me under the bus." Darren grabs my arm and pulls me back into the copy room, shutting the door.

"Annabel's memory loss is much more serious than we thought; it's not completely resolved," he tells me.

"What are you talking about?" I inquire, furrowing my eyebrow.

"She remembers you, but she doesn't remember her feelings for you," Darren murmurs, watching as my face falls and pales.

"That's preposterous," I insist, though I can't help the feeling of uncertainty eating away inside of me. "Annabel loves me just as I love her," I add, sternly. It all adds up though; that's why the kiss didn't feel right; that's what she's hiding.  

"Who are you trying to convince, Calum? Me or yourself?" Darren retorts, just as stern. "Her top priority is getting out of here so she can earn back custody of Ella," Darren says.

"Why can't she remember?" My voice cracks as I slide down the door of the copy room.

"Feelings are more complicated than memories; she lost her memory, she lost her feelings," Darren exhales, taking a seat beside me.

"What if they don't come back?" I mumble.

"She expressed to me the idea that they were simply just a little "delayed", but now she doesn't think that's the case," Darren shares.

"What are you implying?" I question.

"I'm on your side, Calum; I didn't throw you under the bus," Darren starts. "The only thing left to do is make Annabel fall in love with you again."

"How am I supposed to do that if I am prohibited to see her?" I breathe.

"We'll find a way," Darren assures me.

"What if she doesn't want to fall in love with me again? What if she was never in love with me in the first place?" I question, feeling a sense of hopelessness; I know she loved me once though; she opened up to me in ways that made me feel closer to her and were more intimate than any physical contact could ever be.

"She told me she hates that she can't love you the way you deserve to be loved; she told me she owes so much to you and there's no doubt in her mind that she cares for you deeply... but, the passion... it's just not there right now and she doesn't know if it'll ever return and it won't on it's own and that's why you need to make her fall in love with you again," Darren replies.

"I hate that she felt comfortable opening up to you, but not to me," I whisper, running a hand through my crazed hair.

"She was scared, Calum," he insists.

"Scared of what?" I quip.

"Scared of hurting you," he mumbles.

"I'm scared, too," I murmur.

"Scared of what?" Darren quips.

"I'm scared of Annabel not being able to find her way back to me, I'm scared of her being stuck here forever and Mr. Dannings not being able to get the chip out of here... I'm scared of her getting Ella back...," I trail off.

"Why are you scared of her getting Ella back?" Darren questions.

"It's selfish of me to even think these thoughts, but I want Annabel and I to have our own family; I want us to have our own children; to be able to boast to our friends when they compliment us on their good manners and be able to think, 'We made them... together.' I want us to have something that's our's and I'm scared that if she gets Ella back, we won't be a family. And it's an awful thought, but Ella is a constant reminder of Landon and Annabel's past and I want us to move on... I want a future, not a past," I share, my cheeks reddening in guilt. "I need to see her, but I'm scared; scared of making a fool of myself or saying the wrong thing," I add, resting my head in my hands, shaking it relentlessly. "Maybe this is a sign; maybe we just weren't meant for each other...," I trail off, but I know she's the one; it's her, only her; she's it for me and if I can't have her, I don't want anyone.

"If you could see her right now, what would you tell her?" Darren asks.

"I've spent hours contemplating the words to say to you but no combination of twenty six different letters could ever accurately capture even a sliver of what this feeling is. Annabel, I've never been in love before; I don't know the signs or the symptoms, but if what I feel for you isn't love than I don't know or want to know what love is. You're the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep and the first thing on my mind when I awake. I want you to know that I love you for all of your flaws and imperfections because I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you; I love you for your past and how you opened up to me in ways that made me feel closer to you and were more intimate than any physical contact could ever be, but I want to be able to love you for your future, too; our future. Your smile is my favorite feature of your's and the only thing more incredible than your smile, is when you smile at me. And I've wanted to kiss your lips since the first day I saw you and when my wish came true it was the best feeling I have ever known; the feeling of happiness so strong, you can feel it bottling up inside you and you just laugh, because you can't contain that amazing amount of pure joy; you're my pure joy. I love every part of you and I realize that Ella is a part of you which makes me love her, but I'm also scared; I'm scared that with her as a constant reminder of your past, in general and with Landon, we won't be able to have a future; I'm scared that you'll live in doubt and regret. I want to see you because seeing you in my dreams doesn't satisfy, but I'm scared of that, too; scared of making a fool of myself or saying the wrong thing. I know you're the one; it's you, only you; you're it for me and if I can't have you, I don't want anyone. Can we start over? Can we be strangers again? Let me introduce myself and we can laugh and talk. We can relearn what we already know. We can come up with new inside jokes and create new memories. And we can give each other a second chance," I say.

"Y'know, sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together," Darren says.

"I fell apart last night and so did she and we were both angry with the same person, but for different reasons," I breathe as a few tears cascade down my cheeks.

"Who were you both angry with?" He asks.

"I was angry with her; she was angry with herself. I was angry because she doesn't love me; she was angry because she can't," I counter. "When you fall in love, you finally learn why storms are named after people... I just hope there's a rainbow after this one," I add, sniffling.

Author's Note;

Hint-- Darren has something up his sleeve.. What do you think it is??

-Carly