The Boy Named Peter Pan

Chapter 9: To Be Found Is To Live On

What time could it be?

I raised my head up, trying to see the night sky through the numerous tangled branches above my head. It was impossible, to say the least. But I could faintly spot the soft crescent moon peeking out of some clear spots and it was magical.

I sighed and leaned on a sturdy tree trunk. How long had I been walking? Probably a few hours. It was already midnight when I lelt from the mansion so it certainly had been way past nighttime.

A few unexpected sounds here and there managed to startle me, not to mention the quite large amount of bruises I had successfully earned from all those spiky vines and rough branches. But even then, I would never mouth the words he oh-so badly wanted me to say.

Curiosity was not the only asset I had.

Persistence was enough to make me surpass the limits of safety.

Nevertheless, it was not a pleasant experience. I would never correctly guess what kind of sound I would hear, what kind of animal I might see, dangerous or not, or protect myself from the ruthlessly cold night breeze. It was something completely foreign to me, wandering around forests in this state. I bet I looked like a ghost. My hair was disheveled and tangled, my night gown no longer looked as beautiful as it did and my skin was bruised and dirtied.

But in the end, I didn't mind my looks at all.

In fact, I felt relieved that I did not have to worry about someone scolding me for looking as some homeless individual, to feel ashamed or insecure. I was utterly and wholeheartedly alone, and I felt free.

Another breeze rustled through my hair and I shivered, sliding down against the trunk. My legs could not bear the weight of my body much longer, exhaustion pinning down my feet to the ground. I should just lie here for a while, just to catch my breath.

At first, I felt frustrated. I began to wonder why I was lost in the first place. I had followed the familiar path we took to walk in the woods, yet, how could I mess it up? I was scared. I was angry at myself, even at Peter. He did abandon me here, after all. However, it was my fault too for speaking harshly.

But my guilt was not enough to threaten my ego.

I would never ask for his help.

I thought it wouldn't be hard, at first.

Even though the atmosphere had turned eerie and unsettling again once Peter was gone, I kept walking. I walked for, God knows how long. What if there were wolves there? Watching me? Waiting for me to exhaust myself to death, wandering around aimlessly? What if I hurt myself and bled? All kinds of thoughts began harassing my restless mind and my body quivered at the thought of those scenarios becoming true.

What if... I could not find the way back?

Would I... should I call for Peter then?

I... didn't want to die. Not here, not like this.

However, I kept pushing forward, kept thinking that I was strong-willed and patient enough for this.

I took a big breath again. It was cold. I felt my skin turning paler and paler. I should just sleep, for a while. I just needed some energy to keep me going. And then I would stand up and continue.

Yes, that was a good plan.

I could do that.

I closed my eyelids, relieved from the weight of them. I bet he is mocking me again right now. Watching from somewhere afar, hoping that I would give up.