❥ 𝓌𝑒 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓌𝑒 𝒹𝑜 // 𝒹𝑜𝓇𝒷𝓎𝓃

𝟞

~ i don't have a title for this lol idek what i'm gonna write right now so ye ~

~ Corbyns POV ~

Eben just left and I decided I should go to bed but after meeting Jeff and feeling the sudden depression you get after a friend leaves, I couldn't get to sleep.

I decided to go onto instagram like every teen does and mindlessly scroll through my home page. Now that's what I call boring and yet I still didn't feel tired.

I'm a deep thinker, especially at night so my mind starts drifting elsewhere up until the point where my brain is pondering about how many shoelaces you could fit into the holes to where they go through.

I didn't say they were all that smart. Sometimes I actually think about deep things, get into my feelings and stuff. (and then end up usually crying ~ H 😂) I kept scrolling through Instagram, like posts here and there and laughing at some meme pages, when I came across a different sort of post that was somehow under a hashtag that I follow.

It was a picture of two guys, one straddling the other and they were kissing. 'That's cute, I wish I could have something like that' I thought without thinking and then realising what I thought I was shocked. Wait no surely I'm just thinking that I want a cute relationship like that, not specifically with a guy. Wait no, yes. Ugh I don't know. I just want someone who will care for me and give me love. If it's a guy I mean I guess that's how it'd be.

Pondering on the thought of male and male relationships I search up the hashtag gay. Thousands of posts coming up. I scrolled through a lot of them 'damn he's cute' I thought again. I needed to test this. I needed to figure out what I was feeling.

I went through some girls profiles that I knew from school and some who are famous, seeing if they made me feel anything. Yeah a lot of them were really pretty, I can give them that but something didn't sit right. I didn't fancy them in a way normal people would. Am I not normal?

I went back to looking at some boys profiles. I gotta say they were hot. and cute. hot? cute? do I fancy them? I mean I guess. Could I see myself in a relationship with one of them? actually, yes. That sounds amazing, amazingly cute.

To test this out better I went onto pornhub, something I never do. I search up normal girl and boy sex and watched a couple minutes actually more like a couple seconds. It definitely turned me off. The girl was acting like a slut, not like how I think one should act when being intimate with a lover.

I switch to gay porn, watching a lot more of it. It was hot. By the time it had finished I had a situation. That was it. I knew who I was. Wait that's why the girls who always bug me at school I'm never interested or pay attention too. It all made a lot more sense. I'm not sure when I started going off girls but apparently I have.

Now, who do I tell first?

~ I'm sorryyyy I haven't updated this book in so longggg I did not have the motivation to write but our bubs bean has now figured out who he is hehe. Hope everyone is looking after themselves, drinking water, eating, taking your meds. Please stay healthy and strong I love you ~
~ this is trash and i'm sorry 😔✋ ~
~ Wc: 600 ~
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