A Court of Fire and Ash

Rowan

I sat on my throne, watching Aelin while she left the throneroom.
Before she did l, she looked over her shoulder and winked at me.
A light smile appeared on my lips.

Should I take that as an invitation?
Maybe but first I need to do something.

Then she left the room.
I knew exactly what she was going to do.
Ever since we defeated Erawan I could tell a part of her was broken.
It was missing and even though I wanted to help her I knew I couldn't.

It was not just her Flames.
It was that wild, fearless, crazy assassin.
She didn't admit it but I could feel her pain.
She fulfilled her dreams but she still felt like a caged bird now and then.

Sometimes she just had to break out.
And I would never dare to take that freedom away from her.

She didn't tell anyone where she was going and I knew that it was better  not to tell certain people.

When the Aedion couldn't find her one time, he odered the guards to keep an eye on her and not let her  leave the palace if it was too late.

Like someone could trap my fireheart.
I knew she already thought about new ways to mess with Aedion and the guards.
Especially with Aedion.

If he would tell me one more time that I should protect her more, I would kill him.
I knew better than to show her my protection.

She was too stubborn and headstrong.
She would never want to be protected.
She would rather save herself.

And I loved her for that as I loved her for so many other things.

I knew she would be gone for the next hours, so I figured I would train.
I just had to change my clothes.

Arriving in the training room I could already tell someone was there.
Grunts were coming out of the corner.

Female.

I walked slowly around the corner and I witnessed Yrene hitting a dummy.
Her technique was pretty good but I could easily spot certain mistakes she was making.

I cleared my throat and she turned around quickly.
A slight red tone appeared on her cheeks.

I pointed to the dummy.
„Do you mind?”
She smiled like she had waited for something like that.
„Please, go ahead.”
„So when you punch you have to tilt your hand more. Like this.”

I showed her and then cleared the spot.
She did it a few times and it got better each one.

„I know Aelin and Chaol showed you most basics but I want you to learn something new, okay?”
„Yes.”
„Okay, so if you're all caught up in healing someone but you're not in a safe space you can build kind of a bubble around you that no one can enter. To do so you have to chanel your power during healing. You have to concentrate on both things. Take the power you heal with and split it. Then you need to feel the air around you. Fill it up with your magic, like you would want the air and your magic to become one, but never stop healing. We can't really try to do both right now but you can try just to build the bubble.”

I could see her concentrating as she nodded.
I could feel her power coming to life.
It filled the room and sorrounded me completely.

„Try to choose a smaller space. Don't try to protect the whole room, it will be way to hard to keep that up for a long time.”

Suddenly I could feel the power withdrawal and focus on a smaller space.

„Perfect. Now I will attack it and you need to keep it up, okay?”
„Yeah.”

I summoned an icy blast and focused on Yrene.
I could feel her resistance and tried it once again.
After  a few more tries I could feel her bubble cracking and I stopped.

„Okay, tell my, when you want to do this again. I will-

Suddenly pain filled my whole body.
It felt like it tore through me.
No not me a part of me.
No.
It was the mating bond.
Aelin.
I started screaming, not just from pain but also from terror.

The only time I had felt something like this, was when she forged the lock.
When she was ready to give up herself.
To die.

„Rowan! What's wrong?”

I couldn't answer her. All there was was this never-ending pain.
I barely noticed her powers, as they rushed through me.

All I could feel was this bond, ripping apart.
But her powers wouldn't help me because there was nothing to fix.
There was nothing wrong with me.
Aelin was the one who needed her help.

„It's the mating bond. It's Aelin.”

I could see the shock on her face as the bond ripped apart complety, as my physical pain stopped.
It stopped and all there was left was agony.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face.
„Rowan?", Yrene whispered, What's wrong?”
I didn't even want to say it aloud.
But I had to.

„It's Aelin, she's... she's dead.”