A Court of Fire and Ash

Rhysand

I had already sent Azriel searching for Feyre and Celaena.

But this was going too slow.

It had been nearly two days and he  still hadn't been here.
Still hadn't brought them back to me.

I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat.
I could only imagine what Feyre was doing and whether she was okay.
And I didn't like my imagination.

Every time I tried to reach her through our bond I just grabbed this emptiness.

And this emptiness was scarier than every single thing my imagination made up.
Because I didn't know what it meant.

I didn't want to sit here like that not knowing if she was hurt or if the baby was okay. Not knowing if she would come back to me.

Panic rose through me as I became more and more aware of this situation.

What if we didn't find her?
What if we found her but it was too late?
What if she was badly injured?

Everything was my fault.
I had wanted her to stay here.
To be safe and now she was-

Suddenly Azriel was standing right beside me.
But no Feyre or Celaena in sight.

„Why are you here? Did you find anything?”
„No, I'm sorry Rhys. No one has seen anything, whoever took them must've known what to do. But we will find her Rhys, we just need more time. Whatever blocks your bond may be gone in a few hours.”
„Maybe she doesn't have a few hours. Maybe she will be dead within a few hours. Maybe-”
„Stop it Rhys! This won't help anyone. Especially not you.”

I knew that.
I did.
But I needed her.
I needed her to be with me.
I needed to know that she was okay because I didn't know what I would do if she wasn't.

„Please bring me back my wife. Please.”
„I will do m-”

Suddenly he was interrupted by loud banging on the front door.
It intensified and didn't stop.
I rushed towards the door and when I opened it and saw Celaena standing in front of me relief filled me.

But it disappeared as soon as I saw who Celaena was carrying.
Feyre.
And both of them were covered in blood.
So much blood.
And Feyre she wasn't conscious.

„What happened?”
„I'll tell you everything later but now all she needs is a healer. She is in labor and she lost a lot of blood. I stopped her bleeding and that's all you need to know.”

In labor?
No.
No, no, no, no.
Tears slowly started filling my eyes.
She had to go through that without me.
She had to endure the pain and the fear and I hadn't been there.

I could see a movement next to me and I knew someone must've gotten a healer.
There was Cassian with Madja.
And we had to act now because every second counted.

I snapped out of my thoughts and started acting.
I lifted Feyre out of Celaena's arms and carried her out of the doorway and into our bedroom.
As I laid her on the blankets I had a closer look at her face.

She was still beautiful.
My angel.
And she looked calm maybe even peaceful.
Not like she was in pain.

I kissed her forehead hoping she would feel it somehow.
Hoping she would feel that I was here and that she wasn't alone.

„You're gonna be alright, darling. Just stay with me, okay? Hold on baby just hold on.”

When Madja entered the room and examined her she immediately knew what was wrong and what she had to do.

She didn't ask me to leave probably because she knew that I wouldn't do it anyway.

So I just sat there as she prepared Feyre for an emergency C-section and I just held her hand.

Madjas healing magic was keeping her alive and breathing.
And I was thankful for that.
But I would never leave her.

I didn't know how Celaena had stopped the bleeding but if it wasn't for her Feyre would not be alive right now.

Only to hear that from Madja made me want to cry but I had to be strong for both of us.
For all three of us.

As she cut open Feyre's belly to get the baby I knew that Feyre didn't feel anything thanks to Madja but I still squeezed her hand harder.

After a quick look at the baby Madja assured me that he was alright and let me hold him.

And when I first looked him in his little face I fell in love with him.
Kaelen.
Our little Kaelen.
He had Feyres nose.
And my eyes.

He started crying and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

When Mor came in to take him away and care for him so I could stay with Feyre I nearly didn't want to give him up.

But I needed to stay with Feyre.
Her condition wasn't good but Madja told me that she would survive.

So I stayed with her.
The whole night.

I must've fallen asleep at some point because I woke up to Feyre crying.

When I looked up tears were streaming down her face and she didn't even look at me.

„Darling, what's wrong?”
„Our baby, it's not here. Did I... Did I lose it?”

She started sobbing again but I lifted her up and carried her out of the room.

And as we entered Kaelens room Mor waited there for us with him in her arms.

And when Feyre saw him her tears suddenly stopped.
She just stared at him.
And love was everything I could see in her eyes.

„Can I hold him? Please let me hold him.”
Mor handed Kaelen to Feyre and then quickly left the room.

So I just sat there with Feyre on my lap and our baby in her arms.
And when she started laughing happiness was everything I felt.

„I thought I had lost you, darling. I thought-”
She just silenced me with a kiss.
„Shhh. It's okay. I'm alright. We are alright. I love you.”
„I love you too.”

„What happened?”

„I'll tell you later but first we'll need to talk to Celaena because I'm not sure if she is who she said she was.”