Comfort

War

(1144 words)

  He didn't say anything, he just lazily climbed on top of my back.  His weight fell on me all at once, I struggled purely because my exhaustion, but he was still fairly light. His arms wrapped around my shoulders tightly and his feet dangled as I stood up.  He gently rested his head on my back.  Due to his lack of energy, I had to hold his thighs to stop him from falling off.  This new feeling made me blush, but I would never tell him that. 

  Our food and wine sat there on the bench, and I had no free hands.  If I tried to carry it back to the hotel, I'd definitely break the bottle. I can see it now, wine spilling everywhere, no thanks... I noticed a man, he was sitting outside the restaurant when we first walked in, and he was still there.  I pondered for a second, he looked like he needed it more than us. I somehow managed to grab the two bags and walk back towards the restaurant.  I approached the tired man, and gestured to the bags.

  His eyes lit up and he stood up to grab the bags, "Thank you." He laughed at the sight of me holding the smaller man.

"Enjoy." I replied, seeing him smile was worth it, I waved walking off.

  I turned around and started to hotel again.  Once we walked I bit further I felt Grian shift.  I felt him chuckle on my back, the vibrations spread like electricity through me.

"You wouldn't be so generous if you knew how much that costed." He mumbled.

I was shocked by his words, mostly because of the feeling, but also because of the bluntness.  The disregard of my actions and that man.

"Maybe, maybe not." I stated, unsure of how to deny him.

  The sunset gave everything a vibrant orange tint, it sat beside the hotel from my view.  Our hotel looks like Grian built it, made out of white concrete and everything.  He probably could build it, I've always admired his skill.  I chuckled at the thought. 

  Have I always had these feelings?  Just never acted on them, never realized them until now.  If I was ever going to say anything, now would be the perfect time. 

  I can't wait any longer, I'm just going to tell him.  I stopped dead in my tracks.  Despite my exhaustion and heart racing, I found the last bit of air to say it.

"I like you." I stated.

  I held my breath, but I heard nothing.  Just the sound of cars driving by on the road beside us.

"I like you, Grian." I repeated, aching for a response.

  Still, nothing.

  I turned my head a bit, and I realized, he was fast asleep.  I couldn't see him, but I could tell by his steady breathing.  And his weight felt heavier, and I suddenly felt a lot lighter.  I wanted to be mad, but I could only smile. 

  I continued walking once I noticed the orange tint starting to dissipate, and it began to get dark.  He'll know one day, just not today.  I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?  He's not in my reach yet, despite my want for him.  All I know is that, fate better know what it's doing.

  As I walked into our hotel and made my way to the lift, everyone stared.  How could they not?  To some it probably looked like I drugged him, while others just laughed and blushed.  I quickly got in the lift and mashed the button to our floor, I wanted to pass out myself.  The doors closed painfully slow and I felt my drowsy eyes closing as the lift moved.  I was brought back by the ding the lift made when it was at our floor, however someone else was in the lift now.  Unsure of how or when they got there, I walked out embarrassed.

  Thank god for our room being so close to the lift. As I approached to our door I realized, I didn't have the key, Grian did.  I didn't want to wake him, but I knew Grian. I know where he put the key.  Conveniently in one of his back pockets, and I say that with sarcasm. I don't even think I could wake him up if I tried, so grabbing the key seemed to be my only option.

I just prayed that he wouldn't wake up with my hand caressing his ass.

I chuckled at the stupidity of my situation, hoping that it would help with the embarrassment.  It doesn't have to be a big deal, just quickly grab it and it's done. 

  However, I'm a little sour with all of this, Grian didn't deserve to be carried here.  And I'm not going to let me enable myself any longer.  A wave of realization and anger hit me.

  He doesn't even like me, why am I doing any of this?  I'm only making things worse, just put him down.  Stop caring about people who don't give a shit about you!  I was yelling at myself now, I'm really going mad.  Is this why so many people are single?

  I calmed myself down for a second, releasing all my tension.  I slowly lowered Grian down onto the floor.  He obviously woke up during the process.  I had to turn and support him by grabbing his arms as he rubbed his eyes.  He looked so innocent, like a baby.  So soft, so warm, I felt so fuzzy.  God dammit...  He had no idea of the war going on inside my head.

"You have the key." I said lightly, moving out of the way from the door. 

"Right." He said, not thanking me for carrying him or anything.

"Yeah, you're welcome." I said blatantly.

  He didn't respond, didn't even looked back.  Just entered the room and quickly made his way to the bedroom.  I followed behind, he plopped down face first on to the bed. 

He removed his glasses and situated himself under the covers, "Are you going to join me?" He asked sheepishly.

  I remembered my words from earlier, I said I could sleep in the same bed as him.  Shit, why do you have to be such an idiot past me?  It's not a big deal, but I don't want to keep giving myself hope.  Doing all these small things will only end in disaster. 

  He looked at me like he wanted me too, but that's just my imagination playing tricks on me.

"Um actually I'm just going to sleep on the couch." I replied, turning away.

"Wait—Mumbo." Grian stopped me.

"Yeah?" I asked, reluctantly looking back at him.

He paused for a second, "Goodnight."

  This man was going to be the death of me.

"Goodnight." I said plainly, it hurt to put any emotions in my words.