Jeno was quite surprised when he woke up to several texts from Jaemin.
The time on his alarm clock had shown him it was 11:22 AM, so maybe it was time to get out of bed.
Jaemin's texts started with a suggestion to meet up today to take Jeno's picture and it slowly evolved in an apology about yesterday which Jeno couldn't quite understand so all he texted back was '12 is fine'.
In the shower his usual routine went down. First shampooing and some body wash before he got the small razor blade from underneath the rug.
Every time he saw the small thing was still where he placed it before a wave of relief watched over him.
Donghyuck hadn't found out.
His legs looked quite bad. He didn't cut a lot. Some days it was worse than others. Sometimes he didn't cut at all, sometimes a lot.
He looked at his fore arms and let out a soft sigh.
It was a better spot and sadly couldn't be used because of the chance of Donghyuck finding out. It would be too obvious, yet it was easier to cut in.
Even Jeno had to admit it felt uncomfortable when his jeans were tight on his thighs.
He could just wear a sweater right?
Nobody would see.
It would be fine.
The trick was to not press to hard. Just let the blade to the work on it's own. If you cut too deep, you'll need to get it stitched. People would find out, he would've to go to therapy again.
Maybe one day he would cut deeper. Lock himself in his room and cut too deep.
After he was done with Jaemin.
The alarm on his phone went off, indicating he had ten more minutes left before he had to be at the café. He placed a few band aids on his wrist before slipping into a sweater and some jeans and making his way towards the café.
He arrived there before Jaemin. He chose a table close to the fireplace. Not because it was cold, but maybe so the sound of the burning wood could fill up the awkward silences between the two males.
Jaemin entered a few minutes later and sat down in front of Jeno. The younger looked like he hadn't slept a lot. Their orders were quickly placed and soon enough they were just alone with their coffee.
"So.." Jeno started, finally breaking the silence between them. "I wanted to take a picture of you with coffee" he explained and got his camera from his bag that he brought along with him.
"Why coffee?" Jaemin asked him to which Jeno chuckled before he shyly admitted. "Your eyes".
The younger placed the cup against his lips, Jeno doomed in and the picture was done. The purpose for this meet up was fulfilled and Jeno immediately felt the urge to just leave.
He saw Jaemin felt uncomfortable. He wondered what the younger was thinking about. Probably about him.
When Jaemin spoke up Jeno felt like he could read minds.
"So, like, I don't know how to say this, but you didn't react to my text and I just felt really bad about it but you didn't have to put on that t-shirt yesterday and I don't know, I just, I don't know? I'm sorry?"
Jeno chuckled once again. "It's fine" he said.
It wasn't fine, but Jaemin didn't need to know that.
When Jaemin paid for their order and Jeno was ready to go back to his dorm and sleep he was quite surprised when the younger pulled him along.
"What are you doing?" The black haired male asked.
"Taking you on a walk" Jaemin replied while smiling to which Jeno could only oblige.
They walked for awhile until Jaemin decided it was time to sit down on the grass. Jeno took place next to him and let out a soft sigh.
"Jeno?"
He hummed in response.
"I'm probably in no position to ask this but, why? You're so.. ethereal. You're very good looking and have a nice friend, go to a good school, you seem quite happy? I don't know I just thought about it a lot and I can't stop. I.. I don't want you to hurt yourself. Cheesy right?"
A sad chuckle left Jeno's mouth. An iron taste entered his mouth because the male was biting the skin on the inside of his cheek with all the force it took to not just snap at Jaemin right now.
"You indeed are in no position to ask that" he replied with a venomous tone in his voice. "I lost someone who is close to me. Let's keep it at that okay?" Was his final answer before he got up.
"I'm going back to the dorm. I'll see you tomorrow Jaemin"
And he left, leaving the younger male feeling even worse than he did before.
