🔸-catradora one shots-🔸

-mixed messages-

-continuation of love letters-

-continuation requested by @Nic_Do_
Stracenia

-slight trigger warning of mild self harm-

previously
——

she glared at the note in her hand, turning it around to observe it as if it was a foreign object. the faintness of letters phasing through the side, the indentation left by writing, she always liked to graze her fingers over such words.

I never get letters..? not anymore.

she finally opened it up, the paper making a crisp sound as it came apart.

"I miss laughing with you when we would play a prank on one of the other cadets in the barracks. I even miss you snoring in the bunk above me."

she began to chuckle softly, reminiscing, stopping her tears to further damage the paper already soaked with pain.

tears trickled down her cheeks, as they turned to full on quiet sobs that echoed throughout the silent, empty rooms of the frightzone.

"you are my enemy now, and you always will be."

catra winced, her face having a sudden change as it displayed a look of pain.

"I'm sorry things ended up like this. I really am. but even if we could go back in time, I wouldn't do things any other way."

                                 ————

catra weeped quietly, as her mind fought with each other, her emotions indecisive on what to feel as they all went through her head, overwhelming her.

all she had built up was let out, an ugly outburst of anger, guilt, sadness and bitterness. her throat ached and hurt, as her sharp nails managed to dig into her palms, leaving a small amount of blood to pool.

one of the terrible ways she believed was 'coping.'

she tried to bottle it all up once again, but failing terribly, the entire toxicity of her mind being let out in salty tears that she tasted as it poured abundantly down her cheeks.

she hated all of her memories, now. only reminders of what she had lost in this dark, forsaken place that she dreaded with her being. she almost envied adora, who was oblivious for so many years, but brave enough to leave the horde.

now she was stuck here, without her to keep her sane. everything was just perfect when adora was still there, at least their definition of perfect: being together. they made each other's lives worth living in the frightzone.

and she had to admit, ever since she had left, everything had only gone downhill. it was undeniable. and it's effects had applied to everybody, the rebellion, the horde, especially with themselves.

unresolved conflict and tension was one heck of a thing, that's for sure.

but they have only survived by being together. and to them, they were the only true good things about what they called, or used to call, their wretched home.

catra was stubborn, afraid of change. after all, the frightzone was all they have ever known, barely being able to take a look outside of their isolated bubble. she didn't want to leave, yet she did, but she ultimately chose her fate.

and at this point, she knew she choose poorly.

"..force captain meeting is in 10 minutes, force captain catra." she hadn't realized someone had walked in, she quickly wiped her tears as best as she could, nodding as she wiped her nose quickly. "..would you like me t-"