When the sea waves

Can't

"I can't. I'm sorry."

.........

Kiku sat in his room. The walls were too far away, the curtains blocking the sunlight as his alarm went off. He couldn't get it out of his head. Heartbroken eyes filled his memory. And that kiss.....

"Agh!" He fell face first into the pillow. If he was so unsure about his feelings, why couldn't he stop liking it. Alfred was loud, had no sense of personal space and didn't seem to think before he acted.

"Brother?" Niko opened the door. "Are you up? Dad says you're late."

"Tell him I don't feel good," Kiku said as he pulled his blanket over his head.

"Okay." He closed the door, feet thumping across the floorboards.

                                  ..........

Kiku was no where on the bus. Despite being rejected, Alfred still wanted to see him. Things could've at least gone back to the way it was. He still remembered that look. Happiness quickly crippling away as Kiku thought more about it. What was his reason to reject him. His parents? Was he already seeing someone? Did he not actually like him? The more Alfred thought about it, the more he wanted to skip school just to beg forgiveness.

"Alfred, sit down," Matthew said as he pushed his brother into a seat. Natalia and Eduard were asleep in the seat in front of him. Lovino was asleep on Gilbert's shoulder.

"Hey, Al, what happened to your friend?" Gilbert asked.

"Oh, I-"

"He felt sick and went home," Matthew said.

"That's too bad. He seems cool." Gilbert turned his attention to playing with Lovino's hair.

"Yea," Alfred whispered softly. "It is."

..........

Kiku spent the day reading YA fantasy novels. What better way to take your mind off things. He'd pick one up, read a few chapters, then move to another. He was surrounded by stacks of books, unable to stop. If someone knocked on his door, he wouldn't know. He was determined to keep reality out.

"Kiku!"

He jumped. His mom was at the end of his bed, looking angry.

"I've been calling your name! Some friends of yours are looking for you," she pulled him up.

"But-"

"And I know you're not sick! Why didn't you go to school!?"

"I rejected someone..."

"So! Shouldn't they be the one staying home!?"

"I- I don't know," Kiku found himself standing in the kitchen and given food.

"You didn't eat all day. Do you want to pass out?" His mom continued grumbling.

"So, Who's looking for me?"

"What?!"

"Who's looking for me?" He said it softer, shrinking under his mother's intimidating gaze.

"Alfred, obviously." She turned her back on him and pulled a drink out of the fridge.

Kiku frowned. Why would Alfred want to see him after the rejection. That's when a knock echoed from the door.

"I think you'd better get that," his mom said as she walked away, flashing a worried smile.

Kiku walked up to the door. He slowly took a breath, before pulling it open. Bright, blue eyes stared back at him. A nervous smile pressed onto his face.

"Hey," Alfred said softly.

"Hi," Kiku whispered back. "Do you want to talk?"

"Sure." They sat down outside, in the grass.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that so suddenly." Alfred forced himself to look into Kiku's eyes.

"You shouldn't apologize," Kiku countered. "I was the one who rejected you. I even tried to hide. Do you know how much I read today?!"

Alfred chuckled. "More than I could in month, that's for sure! But, can I ask, why don't you want to date me?"

"I'm not ready," Kiku sighed. "You're great, truly you are. I just don't think I can handle a relationship right now."

"Alright, I respect that," Alfred said.

Kiku smiled. It was going much better than he expected. He leaned his head on Alfred's shoulder, closing his eyes and taking in the smells. Wet air from the recent rain clashing with soil and fallen leaves. There was also a strong scent of cinnamon and sugar.

Alfred had pulled out cookies. He raised one to Kiku's lips. He took a bite, sinking into the flavors. Alfred pulled the cookie away as Kiku chewed, taking a bite himself. Kiku looked up at Alfred. Maybe one day, he would be ready for him. Not today, but some day.

——-

Notes:

Happy Halloween!