When the sea waves

Don't let go

Warning ⚠️
This chapter has sensitive topics.
tw for themes of suicide (it doesn't actually happen cause it's a flashback and the characters still alive, but still I think there needs to be a warning.)

Gilbert really needed to be more carful. He overdid it again. Mask over his face, lying barely awake, Gilbert was smiling. Lovino was not. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, til Ludwig cleared his throat. The boy held lunch in his hands, glancing at his brother, then Lovino's tight grasp on his hand.

"Is he..?"

"Fine? Dunno yet." Lovino didn't even look up.

Lovino didn't exactly like Ludwig. He was always worrying, stressed about the little things. He never cried, but always seemed to walk a fine line between keeping calm and completely loosing his shit. It sent Lovino on edge. Lovino's temper was always something that pushed buttons on even the most laid back of people, and Ludwig's delicate person reminded him of just how much damage he could do.

It scared him, to say the least.

"I wish he'd stop pushing himself..." Ludwig said. He set the food down and curled up on one of the chair.

"Me too, kid," Lovino said, rubbing his thumb across Gilbert's knuckles. "Me too."

-.-.-.-.

It was summer when they first met. At least, that's how Gilbert rememberers it. Lovino sat by the piano. His grandfather, still alive at the time, was coaching Roderich for his piano recital. Lovino would be starting school, but for now he could just sit and watch the lessons while his brothers napped.

Roderich finished the lesson, quietly thanking Mr. Vargas. That's when they entered. A tall man with long blond hair and an icy expression marched over to Mr. Vargas, slapping a paper against the piano. Two little boys quickly ran after him, his sons. Mr. Vargas slowly turned a warm smile in the mans direction and said, "I do believe I already told you, unless you have someone to enroll, you have no business here."

"You're not getting any younger, Vargas!" The blonds fingertips slightly creased the paper as he shook. "What happens when your gone? Think of your boys. Think of her..."

"you can't exactly take care of things, either. You're a single man with two boys, no better than me."

"Well at least I'm not about to knock on deaths door! You were great, but now you can barely take care of yourself, let alone a few kids. Please," he begged. "Don't do this to yourself."

"I still have time, Beilschmidt. Let me spend it." Mr. Vargas slid the paper back towards him.

Gritting his teeth, Beilschmidt turned towards his oldest. "What instrument do you want to play?"

——-

Gilbert found himself wanting to gain the attention of the messy haired Italian boy who watched piano lessons. The boy sat through his first lesson, but quickly ran out declaring his hatred of flutes. At that moment, Gilbert turned to Mr. Vargas and said, " how do I become the best flute player in the world."

Mr. Vargas chuckled, "with time and practice. Though, I think you can just settle on impressing him." He motioned toward the door his grandson ran off through.

-.-.-.

Gilbert sat in the passenger seat. His mother was driving him to a hospital check up. It was just another sunny day, but something felt off. Like he was about to lose something important. He glanced out the window, seeing the bridge up ahead. He saw a figure sitting on the edge. As they got closer, the person stood. As they got closer, he realized who it was.

And what they were about to do.

"Mom," Gilbert said quietly.

"In a minute," she replied, going back to her phone call.

"Mom. Mom!" Gilbert raised his voice, shaking her.

"Gilbert, I'm busy here!"

"He's- he's going to... pull over now!" Gilbert motioned to the bridge they were about to cross. His mom finally saw it, pulling over quickly.

Gilbert jumped out as soon as the car stopped. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. There's just no way, he thought. He made it to him just as he jumped. Reaching out for him. His fingers brushed against the back of his shirt. His head turned in response. Tears fell. Hands grabbed for something, anything. Anything other than air.

He found a sweaty palm in his. His heart beat faster than it had in forever. The bar separating pressed against his stomach. He screamed. That sweaty palm was slipping. He screamed for help. He felt himself sliding forward. He screamed for an ambulance. He couldn't breathe. He could no longer scream.

He vaguely felt something grip the bottom of his shirt. Someone was pulling them up. The world blurred and faded around him. He heard crying. Deep, ugly crying. He was crying, too. Lovino...

——-

Gilbert woke up to see Lovino curled against his side, softly snoring. The lights were dimmed and he could see the faint silhouette of two people talking behind a curtained window. He looked down at Lovino, noting the dried tear marks on his cheeks. He wondered if he fought with Ludwig again. They never really got along, those two, but it had gotten worse as Gilbert got sicker.

A sudden noise, yelling, made Gilbert jump. The silhouettes were arguing, one motioning towards him. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he understood. His condition was getting worse. He only had so much time, and not one person he knew could handle it. It scared him with how easy it was for them to lose it. He was the one dying. Shouldn't he be the one losing it?

He wanted them to just stop. Stop yelling and crying and just... smile... for once.

He felt a shift on the blanket. Lovino was awake. He looked up at Gilbert, groaning a bit as he shifted closer, bending over him. "Hey," he whispered with a soft, dreamy smile.

Gilbert felt drunk, seeing those gentle eyes gazing down on him. "Hey."

He reached up, wrapping his arm around his neck, bringing him closer so their foreheads touched. Warm breath tickled his nose. He closed his eyes, the space between them closing as well.

.............

Notes:

-oh boy! I was gonna put this in the story at some point, but I was expecting it to happen more towards the end. It's about midway through the story so far, at least 25 chapters. Probably more. Anyway, I thought this would work better as kind of a change in tone in the story. It's gonna be a bit more serious from now on.
- Ludwig Beilschmidt is Germany
- Lovino's brothers are Italy and Seborga (Feliciano and Romeo)
- mr. Beilschmidt is germania
- next chapter will focus on a certain characters birthday
-thank you for reading. I'm so glad so many people have voted and added this story to their list. I know this chapter has had a bit of a longer wait, but I was having trouble writing and school was keeping me busy. Now that I don't have clubs and crazy projects everywhere, I'm taking more time to write.

Okay......

Now I guess I'll share news about other things that happened (kinda like a life update). For those who don't know, I started writing two new fanfics for a certain fandom. Long story short I watched Promare and am now obsessed.

On of these fanfics is a school au and I thought it'd be cool to throw in some references to it. This is just a heads up if you see any unfamiliar names popping up. I really recommend watching Promare when you have the chance.

Once again, thank you all for reading and I wish everyone the best during these difficult times.